Wondering about my Wanderings

Grieving and healing

I have a lot to say. I will try to say it in a few words. I met with two different counselors to examine how they helped me look at two windows and ways into seeing inside oneself the jewel in the rough.

My first counselor is a grief specialist and by faith happens to be Buddhist, which is afterthought, because his main focus from the beginning has been in supporting my own quest for faith. From the beginning he has reflected back my values of what it means to be a pastor.

Two things arose out of our contact. We talked about how the view point of my brother Kurt who has mental illness. Kurt upon hearing about mom's death said "s*** happens". My counselor said this was the essence of Buddhism and I could not help but laugh.
There was also talk about how mom died. It was dramatic. Silent night was the last song my mother heard dying as she heard, sleep in heavenly peace" It is too easy to see mom in all her glory. The reality is that like a jewel she brings with her many facets worth examining.

My second counselor has been my mentor and friend since the eighties. He volunteers his time freely. He also happens to be eighty years old. He offered a listening ear as I struggled with how I could minister without talking about God.
The other Jewel was embracing my dad and in so doing weeping. My dad was a caring presence without Christian garment. He just cared enough to be with me when I needed him.

The journey is dark, but the future has promise. How do I make best use to the time I have left to share with others the same unconditional love that I have come to know in vastly different ways in the personages of mom and dad. My theology will be stretched as I continue to deal with grief. At the end I expect to see treasure. Come and see with me the grace that God is able to shine in and through me.