Second Helpings

For Graham

It feels appropriate to dedicate my first blog entry of 2015 to a very dear school buddy who lost his ten year battle with bone cancer on November 12th last year. Little did I know that hubby would be in hospital a few days later and my journey to Graham's memorial service would be so problematic. But there is no way I would have missed it and as I climbed the last hill to the church after a series of disasters and a marathon trek I know that Graham would be laughing at my ordeal. As I said at the time...'Only for you would I put myself through this.'


The large, modern church was packed, which came as no surprise. His family and friends delivered a beautiful and fitting service which required a lot of tissue sharing. I have known Graham since before my teenage years, but there were some revelations for us all and as is my way I composed a list of five things I didn't know about a very special person.


I wasn't aware you were a National Yo Yo champion in your teens, but I guess it's not something you bragged about in the cool era of the sixties.


I didn't know you were a marathon runner and had completed the London marathon. Proof of your determination and tenacity.


I wasn't aware your wife received an OBE for services to nursing and that you were determined to be with her to receive the honour earlier last year. Proof of both your modesty and brevity.


I didn't know you could read a book in a day and did so many times during your long and painful treatments. You always had a thirst for knowledge and a love of learning.


it seems you were also quite religious. Not easy for someone who suffered such injustices with health issues. But not a total surprise as you faced everything gracefully and I hope your faith has been confirmed.



Many other things mentioned in eulogies I was aware of and feel privileged I knew you well enough to remember details and be able to treasure memories.


I remember your humble beginnings. You and I lived in the same area and I can still see your house as it was back then. We came from the few working class, underprivileged families who made it to Grammar school and neither of us ever forgot that.


I can still recall your beautiful handwriting which was mentioned at the service. I only wish I'd kept the many letters you wrote to me in our younger years. They would be such a comfort now, but hindsight and all that.


Your intelligence and astuteness are something I was very aware of from school days to the present. You had a canny way of putting things into perspective, seeing the bigger picture, laughing in the face of adversity and giving much more than you ever took.


I know how much your family and friends meant to you. Your daughter did you proud and she's a beautiful young lady I hope will take your philosophies with her through life and have the faith to believe you will be watching over her. You will be sadly missed by us all, but I know leaving your family was your biggest concern.


Your sense of humour was indeed one of your finest qualities. Throughout everything you never lost it and I know there are many memories that will spring to mind frequently and make me smile. When the vicar ended the service by announcing they would play a song chosen by you, we all knew it would be something amusing and off the wall. I'm not sure if it's a first for a funeral, but though some may think it glib, it was so typically YOU.

My heart breaks for your family. My mind questions why such an awful disease should make the last years of your life such an ordeal and why you should be gone from us now. But these questions have no answers and all I can say is that I'm honoured to have been part of your life and that while I'm still here I will treasure your memory always. Rest in peace my friend.


Pass the tissues please.