Wondering about my Wanderings

The story unfolds

Today was a day for realizing there is a story to be told even if it feels unfamiliar to me and others who are not a part of the tale. My wife and I went to see her today. There has been an ongoing saga. My exes sister who I will call Carol is very sure that her father abused her and will not keep her mouth shut. Dad is in the throes of cancer and he is the object of sympathy. There is no way that he could have done anything say various family members. They hire a group that is able to prove that what is going on is part of a false memory syndrome.

Carol is beside herself. What is she to think. Her family is spending lots of money to prove that Carol has been mislead by other therapists. They construct a story with the help of several therapist in the false memory group that represents what the family believes is true. They have it typed up and carry it wherever they go and meet with the support groups on a regular basis, in which everyone shares their sense of betrayal.

After a time I can not help but be swept into the maelstrom of proving Carol is wrong. Over the course of years Carol stands by her words. She claims that she has a multiple personality disorder that the whole family labels as crazy. They see themselves as rational and sane. Nearly everyone except Carol is off the charts on the IQ chart. They are clearly intelligent, whereas Carol is at best average. She was in special education for much of her time growing up. Her mom and sister were near geniuses in comparison, near the top of their class, excelling at all that they put their minds to.

My wife Karen has entered the fray. I am not overly comfortable with her interventions. Karen sees herself as just as smart as the people who claim that she is nuts. Karen was one of the top students in her class and saw herself working in corporate America making as much money as anyone. She will not give up supporting her and has spent hours helping Carol see that she is not as crazy as everyone thinks.

I have no idea how the story ends. My gut says that the family system as a whole will not change. That is what I learned in my work in psychiatric hospitals. Change is snail pace slow and ultimately the only person one can change is oneself. I will watch from the sidelines. This story has gone on now for over thirty years that I know of. I would never have guessed that Karen would take such an interest. She herself has been told by several therapists she has post traumatic issues. What is God saying....? I guess I will have to stay tuned as Karen and Carol keep giggling together about what is real and unreal. In the long and short of it only God knows.