Perpetual Ruminations

Sunday

What could be a better way to start the month, than to get into WdC and write in my journal? Okay, there are a lot of great ways to start the month, WdC being one of them. I agree, it would be better if I was writing in a story or poem, and certainly it would be better if, I was reading and writing some reviews, as well.

For me, however, just getting enough time to log in here is difficult, some days, and then I also have to have enough focus and energy to write something when I do. For a while now, it has been quite a battle for me. Most work days I'm up at three in the morning so I should have time after work, being done and home about noon.

I tend to be more of a night person, however, and it's been very difficult for me to get to bed before midnight. Also, I have long suffered from waking up during the night, having to run to the bathroom and pee numerous times. This has left me with very little sleep for days at a time, and as the work week progresses, I find I am so tired by the time I get home, I can't accomplish much of anything, except taking a nap.

Now, mind you, a good nap should have me rested and ready to go. But, I have never been a nap type person. Even as a very young boy, my mother could not get me to take naps. If she did get me to sleep in the afternoon, it was hell at night because I wasn't falling asleep until the wee morning hours. She had already discovered the problem that still haunts me. That's right, I take a nap, and then I cannot sleep later that night, which of course, means I've now created a late to be, up early, then take a nap, cycle. Even that would be okay if I was functional.

But I'm not. I get up after two or three hours of sleep, and I'm miserable. I make it through work, but six to eight hours with little sleep has me wiped out. So, I eat a little lunch and lie down to take my afternoon nap. I figure an hour or two should be sufficient, so I set my alarm and soon I'm out like a light. Somedays I don't even remember hearing the alarm, others I do. Either way, I'm so tired when it goes off, I cannot get myself to fully awake. I hit the snooze, a few times, but it just leaves me even more tired. I sometimes force myself to get up, but I'm not worth a damn, just too tired. I'll fall asleep at the computer, or in my chair.

This has led me to not even setting the alarm, knowing I have to get more sleep, but without the alarm set, I'll sleep for three, four, sometimes five hours. Of course, that only adds up to eight hours in a twenty-four hour stretch, but it means my day is now about shot. Oh, and after a nap, I'm groggy and really out of it. It takes a couple of hours for my body to wake up and my mind to become functional again. Which means, it's now bedtime and I can't get to sleep.

Anyway, that's the way it tends to go, but I have fought this and have made grounds towards sleeping more at night, getting to bed earlier, and not taking my afternoon naps. Habits, however, are difficult to overcome. I was feeling very good and had this working pretty well, except for a minor setback here and there. I was starting to see results in many areas, more time for everything, and looking forward to spending more time with my writing. I even purchased a book on grammar and mechanics, determined to improve my writing, and editing skills.

Then I got sick. Nothing serious, just the flu. I had gotten vaccinated, so I did not get it real bad, but did miss a little work and was kind of miserable for a few days. Soon enough, I was feeling better and looking forward to getting back on task. But, work had me busy on my days off and it seemed something was constantly popping up. For example, this last week I had three days off, plenty of time to get a lot done.

But, the corperate office called each of my days off, and I ended up spending my afternoons working, just not on the clock. Also, by Wednesday, I was feeling terrible. I did manage to work all week, but I'm still pretty sick. Fever, body aches, upset stomach, and this nonstop headache. Not a slight throb, but so intense I cannot do anything. Also, nothing seems to do much to take the edge off. I suppose it's still the flu, but I'm not sure.

Today is my last day of work, then three days off, again. Already, as if yesterday, I have had something come up at work, and I will have to go in for a while tomorrow, off the clock, to do some training with the new guard. I hope that's it for a while, and I can get the rest of my days off --- off.

Now, I'm running behind, I should be on my way to work, and I haven't even gotten dressed...

It's already starting!