Perpetual Ruminations

Thursday

I am so tired! Some of it's not getting enough sleep; I've been getting to bed later than I should. But it's more than just sleepy tired, I need some time off. It's been a long time since I actually had any time off. Sure, I had some days I didn't have to go in and work, but there was still work that needed to be done, phone calls, and problems. I have one of those jobs that makes it difficult to actually get a break from work even when I'm scheduled off or not at work.

Normally, it wouldn't be so bad, but we had a person who was a problem child. We are also short on help, and now working everyday. I think the last time I had a real day off we went to Rhonda's moms eightieth birthday. We left that morning, spent the day, and had to be back that night because I had to go in and open the next morning. That was back in October, and there hasn't been any real down time since.

It wouldn't be so tiring, but it's preventing me form doing any writing, and that's where I go to escape. I really feel a need to get lost in some story or poem, an essay, anything. But, I need the time to write, without interruption. I also find it almost impossible to write if I know I have to stop in an hour or two and get ready for work, or go someplace, etc...

I guess it's because I tend to get so lost into my writing, that I lose track of time and everything else. So, if I have something I have to do, or someplace I have to go, I don't let myself drift off into my writing, and that means I don't write. I stumble through some notes, jot down ideas, and stuff like that, but I just can't lose myself to writing.

Also, I'm horrible at spelling and need to learn some basic mechanics. I write good stories, or so I'm told, but they have many mistakes and need a lot of editing. So, I went out and purchased some lesson books in order to improve my mechanics, and so I can learn to edit my work. Less mistakes in the work, and less time needed to proof and fix the ones I miss.

Again, I need time to do this. I can find bits and pieces of time, which would work fine for this kind of activity, if I wasn't so tired. I catch myself falling asleep at the computer, watching television, even sitting out on the patio when the weather permits. Just dog tired, that's what I am. I can keep working on getting to bed on time, and that will help, but like I said, I need some serious down time; a real break from work.

That's where we were at when the last guy quit. we were setting up a tentative schedule that allowed for me to end my workday at five or six, then relax. It also incorporated me turning off the phones and not working on my days off. I don't think this will go over real well with the office, but if they want me to be on stand-by on my days off, they are going to have to give me some serious pay increase.

Well, I have to get ready to go in and pick up Rhonda, fill out some paperwork, fax it to the office, and then it's back home for the night. Hopefully there are no calls or changes to the scheduled training tonight, but the guy we are training in has a child who had a head injury, and may have a concussion. He did make it in today, but only until two. I'm hoping things go well, and he can finish his training tomorrow, and start a regular shift on Saturday.