Let's Take Time to Celebrate Life!!!!

Waiting

I get a call as I am about to wake up. It kind of sums up the way my life is evolving. I am in the midst of so many different projects and trying to sort through what it means to be in relationship to the persons that I love.

I am in a love hate relationship with my wife. We even laugh about it. We care deeply about each other, but it does not seem to take long for the sparks to fly. Yesterday was her birthday. She was given an opportunity to get a free meal because of that. She refused to get anything for FREE!!! I was beside myself. How could she be that way. I would have grabbed at the chance to get free food. I got angry and felt stupid afterwards. She has her own way of thinking of things even if it makes absolutely no sense to me. Then I gave her twenty dollars to spend on whatever she wanted for her birthday. She took me to the barber and saw to it that I got a haircut. At the moment she is helping a friend move. She usually wakes up at noon and was up before 6am. This is the same friend who is the sister of my ex-wife and the person who my wife insists that she saved from death. I am beside myself. My clinical training says no such thing can happen. Oh well! That is my wife Sharon.

I continue to wrestle with what family means. This is on the bicuspid of deciding whether to go to Massachusetts to visit with my siblings. And at the same time I wonder what my role as father is to my own kids. I talked with my therapist about how divorce seemed to affect my relationship with my kids in an adverse way. His only comment was that sometimes life is not fair, just look at the news that comes up on a daily basis. It does not keep me from ruminating about the whole issue. Maybe in time I will get some peace of mind, if only by looking at how my own dad was an invisible part of my own upbringing. Could it be history is repeating itself. Well I am all blogged out. Still wondering about the possibility of doing a family tree. Stay tuned!!