Let's Take Time to Celebrate Life!!!!

working or not working

I am so frustrated. I type a blog and it disappears again. I guess I could do it in Microsoft word, but it feels like too much effort. Along with this problem is the continuous frustration I have with using a computer that has not got the bugs worked out. My wife works and works on it. She is the computer geek in the family. It is near functional. Maybe it needs some kind of bug killer.

Work is presenting new challenges. I had been working sixty hours and then due to work changes I am only working 40.

In my job as caregiver I was working twenty hours and then the client died. Since then I have scrounged around for hours. I had been scheduled for eight hours with a client close to home. Then five hours were taken away in the name of continuity for the client. They thought it better to have one person work Monday through Friday than have me come in one of the days which makes sense. The only problem was the case manager forgot to tell me and she was so awfully sorry when I talked with her on the phone. I went out to the clients and I was told to come home because someone was taking my place. Not a good feeling.

Things are changing in my other job too. I had been getting sixteen hours every month to help pad my pocketbook. That is not there due to new organizational identity. They are limiting overtime and have found a way to double book with a special event bolo need. I was the victim of that yesterday. I usually work mobile, driving around garages. I was put at the bolo post for over two hours until there was a need for me to get into my mobile role, because the other mobile got tied up with a major incident. I guess I survived to tell the tale, but I feel frazzled and leave with a big headache.

And now vacation beckons. I was looking forward to time to spend with family in Massachusetts. My wife was not cool on the other idea until she realized that she could use the time to go visit family in Pennsylvania. This borders on the absurd. She can not wait to have me meet her ex husband that she is good riends with. (that does not have a good feel to it for me). She has further told me that she does not want to go to Massachusetts and thinks it a waste of time. After all I only have eight days off. So why bother? Life feels kind of yucky right now. I was crying silent tears, because my health has not been the best and in my own mind in the light of what happened to my mom (recently deceased) I want to have a last nice time since we are so far away from Massachusetts. My wife offered a compromise. She told me I could have the car for a couple days. It does not somehow feel right. She is the one who is constantly wanting to drive and she is in her own way letting me know that she will bite the bullet, even though she refuses to visit them. (he got her feeling hurt many years ago when she met a couple of my sisters at my son's wedding. Life goes on and yet I will always be faced with working or not working. What is the point