Still Figurin' Out Who I Think I Am

This one's about the pre-Halloween party non-story stories.

"Haunted Halloween - Almost everyone loves a haunted tale. Write about a haunted place, could be fact or fiction."

'Sup y'all? Before I attempt today's prompts, I just gotta say...damn. I've been sick as hell for the last two weeks. I tried powering through it...it started with a simple sore throat, and before I knew it it was a full-blown chest cold of miserable proportions. And I used to never really get sick often; now, maybe once a year or so...but it's not even winter yet, so this is bullshit as far as I'm concerned. And it couldn't happen at a more inopportune time...I was recently prescribed another different antidepressant and had been weaning off my last one, so I wasn't sure if I was just having withdrawal symptoms, or interactions between the new one and other stuff I'm on, or what. On top of that, once I finally broke down and decided to go with the "yep, you're sick as fuck" self-diagnosis, I had to be careful about how to treat myself...I bought a bottle of cough syrup because I'm ridiculous with the hacking, and the pharmacist was all like "I know this is all gonna sound super scary, but you need to be careful about Serotonin Syndrome  , even though it's rare and you could die". Basically, some of the meds I take will increase the Serotonin in my system, but cold and flu remedies will amplify that also...so on top of my sleep pattern getting all jacked up again because of everything, there's been that to worry about as well. Good times. I better not get sick again until at least 2017 now. I think the worst is over...I was a hot mess Wednesday night into Thursday, but today I feel better than I have since this whole thing started, so I must be turning the corner with it.

Anyway, that's the personal update, and enough of me carrying on about that. I've got three prompts to whine for and about, so I should probably get started...two of the three include my favorite form of non-blogging, some variation of "Write a poem or story...". Ugh. I'll say this again for the thousandth time: If I wanted to write a poem or a short story (or a novel for that matter, because my blog entries are probably just as long as short fiction chapter I guess), I would write a poem or a short story. I don't know why this prompt concept bothers me so much, or why I compartmentalize them the way I do, but my blog = my rules and the author has spoken.

Cool...so now we've figured out between the rest of the week's prompts and today's that I'm not in the percentage counted as "Almost everyone...". Glad we could clear that up before I start tearing apart some place I've never been to while spouting truths, half-truths, and outright lies .

Now, I've done a decent amount of travelling I suppose...average, I think. I'm by no means some kinda brotha who jets out somewhere on a whim, but I've seen some places. And I'm certainly not all touristy once I get to wherever it is I'm goin'...yeah, there are some cities where you have to visit certain attractions or eat at certain restaurants, but I'm not gonna hop on a plane or a bus like I'm about to run down the aisle on The Price Is Right   because I need to let everyone who sees me know I'm 'bout dat Eat'n Park   life once I hit Pennsylvania, or whatever.

Anyway, I don't know if I'll ever get over there, but one place I'd like to visit because it may or may not be haunted is London, England. I know there are lots of WDCers there, and it's always been a fascinating place to me for reasons I don't even know if I necessarily know or can explain...but it's clearly inhabitable, so it can't be all bad (full disclosure: I'm not one of those ghost chasers, or whatever those people are called...you know you're friends with at least one of 'em, those people who feel like they need to visit every haunted landmark they've ever heard of because it's cool or spooky or whatever. Weirdos. ).

I'm not sure why I think London might be haunted; maybe it has something to do with television. Follow me on this, because I might not make much sense. See, my earliest recollection of London might come from old London Fog   commercials. Fog is gloomy, London must be foggy since a company is named for it or something, and I've seen enough episodes of Scooby-Doo to know that all the creepy monsters and villains operate under heavily fogged atmospheric conditions. Therefore, my childlike associative mind has deduced that London is probably haunted.

But let's look further at this, because I don't feel complete unless I've over-analyzed something to the point of ridiculousness. Since I mentioned television as being a reason London might be haunted, have you ever actually watched tv shows that are based in or around the area? I don't mean a random episode while you were channel surfing that afternoon you stayed home sick from work and didn't realize you were watching BBC programs on PBS...I'm talkin' about watching enough to know characters and get caught up in plots and shit. I'm certainly no expert on this subject, but what is it about the lighting used on the sets of these shows that trump up the gloom factor by at least 50%? Even in outdoor shots on shows like Monty Python's Flying Circus, when it's damn near obvious the sun is supposed to be out, the skies still look overcast. Does British television live in a state of perpetual cloudiness? Indoor scenes on sitcoms, no matter what time of day they're implying, all look like they're shot during the pitch blackness of a nuclear holocaust. It's...unsettling, almost. Again, my childlike associative mind thinks if your entertainment isn't providing me visually with laughter and ease of mind, then you're trying to scare the bejeebus outta me. And I don't like it when television plays games with my emotions like that.

Ok, so all that being taken into consideration, I believe that while London is certainly an extraordinary place, within it resides probably some kind of mystical creepology designed to freak out people who go to places specifically looking to be freaked out (again, weirdos). Does that mean it's truly haunted? I dunno, man...I'm not a scientist or whatever kinda person makes study with perceptions of ghosts and apparitions and shit. But I'll tell you this...if you and I somehow wind up vacationing together in the UK, and you really wanna be spooked, I'll make sure to rattle shit when you're not lookin', and knock on walls while you're sleepin', and steal your chips when you turn your head. If that's what it's all about for you, I wanna make sure you're gettin' your money's worth.

"Are you easily tricked? Do you fall for things? An example would be fun if you have one."

I...I would like to think I am not easily tricked. I was a gullible little kid at times in my younger days; perhaps no more gullible than most, because I think that's something most kids go through. But now, as a child trapped in adulthood, I'm definitely more skeptical than maybe is healthy for many. I'm not sayin' I don't believe anything, but I'll need to see something at least a couple times and from trusted sources before I'll commit to its validity.

Like all this "fake news" people have been talking about every once in awhile, and how they can't stand it. Look, I get it. It can be frustrating. But you need to consider how you're coming across all this tabloid-esque journalism in the first place. A lot of people get their news from social media, confusing their Facebook newsfeed for actual news. You might follow your local tv stations for news and weather updates, but they're not the ones dropping the latest celebrity death hoaxes or questionable cancer remedies made of burnt tires and eyes of newt on you.

The problem with getting your news mainly from Facebook and Twitter is the general shadiness of the internet itself. You might've liked or fanned or followed something six years ago, and without you even knowing it that site might've been some kind of satire all along...or maybe it has morphed due to a change in ownership's hands into some kind of bonkers internet form of the garbage tabloid rags sold at supermarket checkouts (Man Discovers Wife Is An Alien! President Clinton Will Die In Two Weeks! Lose 36lbs In A Month Eating Only Skittles!).

It get aggravating at times, because oh my god I have to think and wonder if these stories are true or not. And what can be just as aggravating at times are seemingly intelligent people falling for these rouses. Like I always say...common sense isn't very common anymore. If all you see is a headline, but fail to connect it to the source, you're gonna look like an idiot when you share that article about Betty White dyeing  .

Besides, all the really important news will be covered by every legit news outlet imaginable. And everyone on Facebook has at least three friends who think they must be some people's only source of news, and will share every god damn article of various importance just in case you didn't see or hear about it anywhere else. I don't understand that...Johnny CNN isn't doing anyone any favors by clogging up the newsfeed with the same ol' same ol', gettin' all up in the way of potentially necessary memes I may need to see. Gawd. Some people's kids, and their social networks, I swear. And they never taught us a class on how to put up with all of it when I went to school.

But that's all besides the point. Not sure if what you've seen on your favorite internet poison news source is legit, or if it's just a rumor disguised as a means of generating ad revenue? Do your own fact-checking. Hit up Snopes   and then draw your conclusions. Or, for the love of all that is good and pure, just stop fucking believing everything you see, read, and hear until you can verify its certainty with your own five senses, if you can't use your god damn brain to decide right from wrong and need all of humanity spelled out for you in the rightest of fashions because why would someone post a lie on the internet if people read that stuff??

So no, I don't get easily tricked. And if I ever did, you probably wouldn't know it...because I don't wanna look like that Chicken Little, sky's fallin' ass by opening my mouth and letting all the dumb fall out.

"Hello my Pretty Pretend Witches and Warlocks....if you could cast one spell, just one, would you use it for something good for everyone or would you use it just yourself on this Hallow's eve affectionately called Mischief Night? Write a poem or a story with a mischievous twist."

I don't really feel like coming up with an actual poem or story or whatever, but I will share with you something sorta mischievous from around 4am-ish this morning (or the time I woke up and couldn't fall back asleep so I thought that visiting the internet would be a good idea, given all the many pills I've ingested over the last few days ).

One thing you must know about me, and it has been written in one of these similar spaces before, is that I love Chicken McNuggets from McDonald's. Save all your happy hippy horseshit about how bad fast food is, and how terrible a corporation like McDonald's is, and it's probably not real chicken, and oh the humanity and all that; I really don't care. I don't get to eat it often, and my hunger and nutrition (or lack thereof) is more important at any given time than a chicken's body part's feelings (and no, I'm not a total monster, because I do have some compassion and hate to see animals suffering, but I'm not gonna alter my cravings so one chicken/cow/pig/etc. can live another day and give up its tasty morsels to someone else...fuck that).

So in the haze of my sleep sedatives and cough drops, I came across a USA Today article about a supplier of McDonald's chicken   pleading guilty to animal cruelty charges. Yes, this is sad and unfortunate...but is it really surprising? If this shocks you, please, I'll hold up the rock you crawled out from under so you can go back there and pretend we're still in medieval times (where I'm sure they did much worse things to animals...and humans, as well, and under some sort of guise of legality too). Anyway, because I sometimes think I'm hilarious when I'm under the influence of properly taken yet improperly functioning prescription medications, I chose to exercise my creativity on the original Facebook post's comment section for the article itself.

#truth

Look, it's been a long time since I've seen an actual living chicken up close and in person. And I'm not naive enough to think that maybe there really isn't some beak or cluck in the McNuggets (or chickie nuggies, as I like to call them sometimes when I'm feeling playful and refuse to grow up). But let's just say for the sake of estimation purposes that it takes the meat of approximately one chicken to get a 10-piece order (I'm sure I could probably Google the exact average, but in the order of time and laziness, it's just not prudent enough for my concerns at the moment). And I know McD's sells them in a variety of orders, but let's just round up and down to use 10pc as our reference point. Then, let's assume each McDonald's sells, on average, 100 orders a day, over good lord I don't even know how many McDonald's there are...5000? 7000? Anyway, that's a metric fuckton of math I'm not even tryna get into, but that's a whole lotta daily chickens meeting an untimely death for the greater good. Surely they can't all be happy chickens   under those conditions. A prison's death row population isn't the peachiest place on Earth either, but at least the fowl are fulfilling a purpose.

Normally I fall on the side against the giant evil corporation...but in this instance, instead of decrying the for-profit food service industry as the inhumane animal killers they are, let's give thanks and praise to the fearless chickens that go on to do greater things with their time on this planet once Farmer Joe cuts off its head  . And if I believed in the power of witches and warlocks and all that, I'd get 'em to cast me a spell that presented me with at least one 10pc a week, with extra Hot Mustard dipping sauce tubs (have they brought that flavor back yet? that's how long it's been for me I think), and they'd taste as great as always, but the chickens sacrificed would feel no pain. That way, I wouldn't feel guilty about eating them. Not that I ever did feel guilty in the first place for feeding myself, but in the event I ever have a change of heart (unlikely), it'd be good to know that black magic can ease the sins of mortal humans.

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I'd honestly never really listened to 7 Year Bitch before; not until a trip to the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame in Cleveland maybe five years ago. 7YB was a Seattle band during the whole grunge era, but I don't remember them. Some display on the 90's at the Hall Of Fame though was playing a clip of them, so I watched it a few times and I liked how they sounded. When I got home, I bought their three albums from iTunes (mainly because I couldn't remember the lyrics to the one song I heard, and an entire catalog for three albums? Jackpot!). Money well spent.

I was originally gonna use the song "M.I.A." off the ¡Viva Zapata! album- both were inspired by the rape and murder of Mia Zapata, the lead singer of The Gits (the group 7YB opened for as their first concert)- but I couldn't find a good cover of it. However, on the same album, 7YB performed a cover of The Jim Carroll Band's "It's Too Late"   (and holy movie/tv star nirvana in that clip!).

And the dead people...Jim Carroll died in 2009 of a heart attack, and 7 Year Bitch guitarist Stefanie Sargent passed away in 1992 from the very rock-n-roll-ish choking on her own puke after a night of drinking and using heroin.

"But it's too soon to ask me for the words I want carved on my tomb."
Lyrics.  

Like I said up in the first segment today, I know there are some people from different parts of Europe that read this once in awhile. Give yourselves a shout-out...where are you from?  

Personally, I'm not crazy about science...but I'm a sucker for random knowledge, and I'll generally read almost anything that includes phrases like "you didn't know you needed to hear"  .

Did you guys hear?? ~Minja~ has threatened promised offered to marry all of us for donating an auction package to her "Invalid Item" . Pro Tip: If you ever want to ensure my participation in and/or a donation to your project, be Minja. And if you can't be Minja, offer me your hand in marriage. And seriously, as soon as I finish this up I'm actually gonna put together something to offer for this, because it seems like everyone's either participating in NaNoWriMo or sponsoring someone in it, and I'm...not. If I sponsored everyone I really wanted to sponsor, I'd have no GPs left for anything else, and it wouldn't seem fair if I only sponsored certain people and not others...so yay! Win-win situation here. Best I can do...but what's that say about the WDC community in general when it feels like the majority of everyone is either involved directly in one particular event, or is supporting a participant? It's almost like when Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm runs her Game Of Thrones mega-activity. You can't hide from it; it's everywhere! Anyway, go to Minja's auction and spread the love around...maybe if you're lucky you'll get hitched too score yourself a sweet prize pack.

And finally, Wednesday was another edition of the Republicans gathering in a public forum to debate issues mostly older, rich white dudes (plus an old rich lady, a black dude with flecks of white in his hair, and some folks I wouldn't put in charge of a girl scout bake sale, let alone a country) pretend to know what they're talking about until it becomes okay to openly start snipin' at each other. Under the best of circumstances nothing is ever settled in these debates, and having 15 of these people in one sitting definitely isn't ideal, but the GOP seems to think this is the best way to lose an election in 2016, so who am I to say anything (hint: I'mma say it anyway)? And with that comes another series of tweets   collected from folks funnier than most of us during the event. All you really need to know about the Republican party can usually be learned from something like this, and as long as there are still people around to mock politicians, then I'd say the country is heading in the right direction regardless of who sits in the White House. And what was I doing during the debate? Watching baseball . One day I'll actually pay real-time attention to one of these shitshows, just to see if they're worth the anti-hype...not that my viewing will make any difference, but it might be fun to live tweet one sometime.

Alright y'all...time to get outta here while it's still kinda sorta daylight out. Not that I'm goin' anywhere...it's more of an expression and all. Besides, Game Three of the World Series starts in less than two hours, so I should probably attend to everything else I feel like doing today just for the purpose of not doing anything but falling asleep in front of a baseball game tonight. And for the record, the last time the Mets won the World Series back in '86, they were also down two games to none and had lost Game Two by six runs (just like Wednesday). Given that, I like the odds (and #LGM). Hope you all have great rest of your Friday! Peace, find somebody to love, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!