Carly's Ramblings Blog - Style

Movie Songs Week - I Will Always Love You & WTMR Prompts

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Movie Songs Week - February 15 to 21
Day 20

Whitney Houston - I Will Always Love You
From The Bodyguard with Kevin Costner and Whitney Houston.
Here is the other song I love from this movie. This is also my second Kevin Costner pick for the week.
This song was originally done by Dolly Parton making it a country song, but I love Whitney Houston's version much better. Too bad her social life took its toll on her life... this woman had an amazing set of pipes!

Welcome To My Reality - February Prompts

1.If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be?

I would be a go-getter. Someone who takes the bull by the horns and deals with things head on.... no procrastination. No paralysis from excessive worry and fear. I tend to do that more with my teaching career, but in my personal life I freeze up. I want to be someone who doesn't self sabotage. Someone who deals with things that are breaking and makes the necessary changes to make things work.

A person unafraid to take risks and promote myself as a great teacher and writer. Self promotion is very challenging for me. I don't want to come off as being boastful or proud, but I also want to make a name for myself and advance my career as a teacher and also make something of my writerly self.

2. If you were incapacitated, by illness, accident or old age, how would you cope with being cared for? Would you be able to accept such a situation?

This scares me. Especially now as my marriage is crumbling.... I will be alone. Moving back in with my mother. I am not yet fifty... but it is getting close and I worry what the future will bring. I know I need to trust in God and put my worries and fears on Him and know that all will be okay, but I still feel the nervous tremors. Change is always scary... and staying where I am not wanted or needed or fully loved is not the right thing for me to do. I feel like a failure... like I should make a go of it, but I also don't know if I got into this for the right reasons. Things have become murky and I don't like who I have become. I have given up my power.... and I need it back... so that I can move forward without so much fear.

3. What's the key to repairing a broken or damaged relationship? Is there ever a point when a relationship is beyond repair?

I would say communication is the key. I would also say making the effort to keep the love alive. Staying positive and keeping God in your marriage also are important.

Focusing on the positive allows you to not dwell on the little things that drive you nuts.

Things began to shatter for me when my husband decided he was no longer going to put me first. He was tired of feeling like I was not as invested in our relationship and he was tired of feeling like I wasn't putting him first. Was I doing that?

By not getting a full time job, and staying with supply teaching, it has stressed my marriage. Should I give up my dreams to take on a full time job that would probably provide less money but a steady income. Am I letting my dreams become fantasy?

I am an only child. I like my space. Does that make me unable to connect with a marriage partner? We have had many happy times, but the stress of not measuring up has left me feeling less over the years. My confidence is weak and I have given up a lot of power... letting my husband take care of finances and other things that I no longer feel comfortable doing.

A relationship is beyond repair when one or both of the partners decide they're done. I don't feel strong enough to fight against feeling like he is done and finished with me. I don't give him what he wants and he has worked too hard and given too much... but does he give me what I need? I need to remember I am important in all this as well. I cannot pull back into myself and try to be invisible.

4. Tell us about a childhood pet. Why is this pet so memorable?

I have a total of three cats in my life. The first was a grey persian. My father thought they would have to get rid of the cat when the baby comes, but they did not... turns out she was my champion - guarding me from the alcoholic neighbour's dogs. She would chase them off anytime they came near me when I was out playing in the sandbox.

My second cat arrived when I was seven. She was a tri - coloured calico with a comical streak. She lived to be almost 21. She made it through the trials of my childhood, my teenage years and when I left home I took her with me. She adored my mother and me... she was not as big a fan of men. My father was not a cat person. She tolerated my boyfriends and kept a distance from my mother's husband... in a humourous sort of way. We expected them to get close when Ray was home recovering from his heart attack, but she would come down from my room and peer at him through the stair banister... he would look at her, clap his hands and she would tear upstairs again - not coming down until Mom and I got home.
She also went sixteen hours without her cat box because my mother had accidently turned the entry towards the bathtub. She kept bugging us and we eventually followed her to see what the trouble was. We turned the lid around and in she went! Poor girl. Such a good cat.

My last cat was also a tri - coloured Calico. She was a bit more spirited than Kerry, but she too was a good cat. She tolerated my husband and was definitely my cat. We kept her in the laundry / furnace room when we were off at work. I often came home to her singing opera - she liked the sound of her voice off the furnace. Her tone would change when she realized I was home. If I was not home, my husband would occasionally let her out. She would go upstairs looking for me and when she could not find me she would go back to her room - giving him a dirty look as she passed him.

I have no cat now... I have developed allergies to cat dander, but I also find without a cat in my life, my anxiety has gone up.