Carly's Ramblings Blog - Style

Changes and Clearing Out My Life

I better post these before I forget I did them...

Welcome To My Reality - PROMPTS FOR MARCH 2016

5. Do you like dolls, toys or stuffed animals, or do you think these are best left behind in childhood?
I have a collection of dolls, a box of old toys from my childhood and a spare bed covered in stuffed animals I cherish. There is only a select few of each... each with a story and a time full of memories that are held dear. I see nothing wrong with holding on to a select few items.
My mother still has her Betty Jane doll - a doll with a porcelain head.... with a crack in it from when she fell out of bed when I used to sleep with her.

9. What is the last new skill you learned? How and why did you learn this new skill and how have you put it to use?
I learned how to access the Waterloo Region's Learning Library so that I can use it to show educational videos and have access to other digital resources. This is vital to know as it comes in handy when I go in to supply and am asked to access a certain file. Not being overly tech savvy I found myself using any available time asking other staff and students to help me set things up. Knowing how to do it myself takes some of the stress out of a day of supplying.... because some teachers use the resources quite a bit.

I have used it a few times since wrapping my head around it.... and I like that I can access it and practice it at home so I don't forget... it also allows me to see what is available and what I can access if I ever need to use it as 'filler' if what the teacher has left is not going to work.... or if I can't find their plans.... and yes, that does happen.

13. So many of us struggle with change. Do you see it as an obstacle to be overcome or an opportunity to break out of your comfort zone? How do you deal with change? What is the biggest change you have had to deal with this year?
I am like the ostrich who buries its head in the ground at the slightest provocation. I know that is the worst way to deal with things... and with a failing marriage I know it has gotten me nothing but pain. So as I press on into the new chapter of my life, I must make some changes. I must regain my power. Take it back. Stop giving it over to my husband who no longer wants the responsibility. I should not have given him so much anyway.

I feel like a new chick, freshly broken from its shell and floundering. I need to get my strength up and reclaim my brain. Take things head on and face facts. I am the one who can make or break my life. I might be moving back in with my mother... we can help each other, but I am still my own person. I have bills to pay, supply work to do.... I need to find summer employment to make sure I have some kind of income when the supply work stops for the summer and is slow in the fall.

This move has made me reassess my life. I have gathered too much stuff around me and it is time to clear it out. I have been reading Marie Kondo's little book - the life - changing magic of tidying up. I managed to clear out half my clothes - 7 garbage bags full (nobody is ever going to wear those bridesmaid dresses again - I had my time, now it is time for someone else to have it and enjoy it). I have also managed to set out 5 boxes of books for donation. There are also 5 boxes of Christmas things that have not been out of storage for years. I feel a little lighter but I also know there is still so much to do. Bit by bit I will pare back my life and rid myself of the bits and pieces that have trapped my into indecision and a dying incompetence.
16. What profession did you aspire to enter as a child? Did you succeed?
I have always wanted to be a teacher and a writer. I am still trying to get a teaching contract. I supply teach in elementary schools and love it, but there are too many days where there is uncertainty as to when I wll be working. The income is not steady. As for being a writer. I am a writer.... just not a published author... but time will tell.

17. What is the favorite part of your body?
I love my eyes. They are blue... the colour varies between silver blue and dark blue depending on my mood. The outer rim of my irises are dark blue. They have been called cat like. I actually had some guy ask me if they were real shortly after colour contacts came out.
I also like my hair.... or I did before my gold strands changed to silver. I still have blond and light brown strands - tri toned.

18. Do you dance or tap your feet to songs or do you just quietly listen?
Dance and sing and do most anything. I cannot sit still. Even when I am driving I will sing along and dance in my seat.
I enjoy having the radio on for company. It is nice to listen to music and sing along... makes the day go so much better.

19. Do you blog everyday or randomly? Do you address several things in an entry or keep each entry for a specific topic?
I go through phases. There are times when blogging is an everyday occurrence. I have taken on 30 day challenges and met them, but lately I have been keeping to myself. Things are a little stressful these days and I am dealing with some huge personal issues. I have been writing about them, but I don't feel able, at this time, to share... when things are not so raw, I may feel able to share, but for now.... I know I have friends who care... and they will be there for me when I do reach out with my words.

I prefer having prompts to guide my thoughts and words... I often find myself writing about things I would not normally consider.

28. Do you keep your house clean and tidy, clean but cluttered, as clean as possible but you really only clean up for company, not so clean or it's a complete disaster area? Give details to back up your choice.
Things are clean, but cluttered. I tend to clean more if I know people are coming over. I hate to clean. It is something that must be done, but it never feels good enough. I have a lot of books and papers and magazines and other things that I need to sort... I need to pare back and keep those things that please me... and give away or sell those things that no longer bring me joy. I am reading Marie Kondo's book on the art of tidying up.

I am also living in a house that is riddled with renovations. The upstairs bathroom had a whole in the floor for 2 and a half years before my husband finally covered it – the new flooring is still piled in the hallway for when he will install it. The main floor has a wonderful new flooring, but I went over a year without it done... the Christmas tree did not go up for 2 years – and who starts renovations in November in Canada! The flooring in the bathroom is still not done... hence there is a pile of flooring and tools sitting under my dining room table looking like an eye sore.

My husband also put in a new sink which is lovely, but he needs to add in the hard water line and put the garbage back under the counter – this means I have to walk to the back door to throw anything out and I need to go downstairs to refill my hard water container twice a day (at least).
My husband is anal and is also a perfectionist. I do not complain, but it drives me nuts.

I expect after I move out he will complete these jobs within a month or two so that his friends don’t see the dumpage we live in.

My mother's place, where I am moving is very tidy. I will have to step up... clearing out a lot of excessive stuff will help and I look forward to being less weighed down by things.