Angel Whispers

Crash and Burn

Others saw it coming and I guess I suspected it would too. I was manic, almost high, rushing into things and making decisions too soon. The crash came last Monday and I have had an horrendous week of severe depression, sinking lower and lower into the depths of despair and wondering if there'll ever be a way out. I can't focus on anything properly apart from my own dark thoughts and having been in this state before know how difficult it is to climb out of. Days are endless, meaningless, and much as I try to do things I can't concentrate or enjoy anything. My appetite has closed down, my sleep is disturbed and I hate waking up to face another day. Doctors don't seem to be able to help and I know ultimately it will be up to me to drag myself out of the black hole. Palpitations, sweats, the inability to relax and panic take over despite efforts to control them. Knowing I now face life alone and can find nothing to do to distract my thoughts is a terrifying prospect. Three months ago I lost my husband yet it seems now the world has deserted me and expects me to have recovered. Oh that it was so simple.