Poisoned Purple Pen

Pet peeve and my sneakiness

Going to do some double duty today since I'm falling way behind on everything.

First prompt: What are your pet peeves? What little things irk you and piss you off?

Biggest is those fucking idiot drivers. You know the ones who go on the inside of a Michigan turn and instead of staying on the inside of the four lane road, swing as far right as possible and screw up the natural order. Hey asshole, you're in the left lane, stay in the left two lanes. Don't make my ass stop because you grabbed your drivers license from the inside of a Cracker Jack Box!

Or how about that beautiful little gizmo on your car on the steering column. I mean they put it there cause it looks pretty right? You don't need to actually use it to alert me that you intend to turn, right? My biggest issue is I like my car. For if I didn't, I would probably smash right into you for being an asshole driver and teach you a lesson.

Oh and hey dude riding my ass. Yeah you. Go on, keep thinking I'm going to speed up, or move to allow you to pass. The best was just last week. I was coming home from work, in a decently good mood until this jag off starts riding my bumper. My street was busy, the speed limit is 30 mph and for the record, I'm an at least 5 mph over kinda girl. So he's riding my ass for about a mile now. I'm getting closer to home, can't wait to just pull into the driveway. There's a stop sign two houses from me. My house is on the right. I stop at the stop sign, like you're supposed to. And since I don't have far to go I'm not flying to get into my drive. I hit the turn signal, and that shit head blows the stop sign and tries to go around me on the left. Oh hell no! I'm not having that. I do this wide swing out to the left cutting him off and turn right into my driveway! That'll teach you!

Prompt 2: Tell us about a time you 'stuck it to the man' or got one over on someone

I used to work at City Hall, building and safety department so all I know what we are allowed to do with and without a permit. But, screw them assholes who play favorites and let others off while us working class poor people have to pay permit fees and crap. You guessed it! We poured cement and didn't get a permit. A city employee ratted me out. But the inspector just left a note saying no permit for front steps. Oh hell we poured a walkway, another walkway and patio too. So I apply for permit, only with the one walkway and one step. They come out to inspect it. For the rest, I took advantage of the fall leaves and scattered them all over the walkway leading to the patio! The inspector knew me so we got to talking and he never saw the rest of the cement! Ah, my bad. What can I say? That was ten years ago. I imagine I'll get busted at some point, but not today!

"JAFBG"   by Elisa the Bunny Stik