Blog @ Work

A rant

Tell us about something that fucked you off this week. "JAFBG"  [XGC]

I am cranky right now and I have to rant about it. I am irritated, don’t feel like myself, am tired and just in a foul mood.

And the reason is fucking unbelievable: it’s the fact that I am trying to make a poem with another writer and I cannot seem to get into the groove. Poetry is always something I do solo, and doing it with another writer just doesn’t work for me today. The other writer is lovely enough, that’s not at all the problem. The problem is the assignment itself. The making of a poem with fixed patterns.

I can’t understand the specific rhyme pattern, and have difficulties with grasping the meaning of ‘feet’, ‘iambic meter’ and ‘stressed and unstressed syllables’. I normally do free verse so anything else is totally out of my comfort zone. And I am still in the middle of poetry class at Dave’s and haven’t finished that yet.

Furthermore, I have to translate everything first into English or back into Dutch before I get the meaning. This is fucking me off big time!

The first time in five months something is difficult and I totally hit the wall and crank up. What am I? A sissy? A wuss? A stupid ego-tripper? Why can’t I just embrace the idea of learning something new and be glad and comfortable about it?

What’s wrong with me? Is it the fact that everything has been so wonderful those past months that I believe in the fairytale of being a writer myself? I am a newbie for crying out loud…five months ago I didn’t write in English!

I am new at this so cut yourself some slack and don’t fall apart at the first wind of difficulty! Try to be mature about it and don’t get so emotional if something is not working right away. I feel like a stupid moron. I am an idiot!

There, feeling slightly better now.