Thoughts & Things

Birthday Blues

Yesterday was my birthday, which is why I am a tad late on this post. I was a bit busy with birthday stuff. It was mostly a good day. I got to have all you can eat fajitas with my boyfriend. I got lots of birthday wishes. I couldn't help but feel a little bit down though.

This was my first birthday without my grandma. I kept checking my phone, expecting her to call. Then I would have to remember that I am never going to get another birthday call from my grandmother again. I would give anything for that one last birthday call. I think she knew she wouldn't make it to my birthday. She was always over planning gifts for everything, and normally she would ask me months in advance what I would like for my birthday. She never asked me once. I don't mind not having a gift. That's trivial. It's the phone call I missed.

On top of feeling sad, I had a rather unfortunate night. Not that anything bad happened, but I had to be part of a sleep study (because of my health issues), rather than getting to spend my birthday night doing anything. It was a Monday, so I didn't exactly have big plans, but it would have been nice to spend the night with my partner, rather than in a hospital.

It was a good birthday. I had a nice day. I just ended up feeling a bit blue. I wish I had been able to focus on the good. I think the heat must be aggravating my depression. I mean, who wants their birthday in the midst of a government issued heat warning? Not this girl. My A/C is broken. No wonder I was blue.

(I have committed to blogging daily with Give It 100. This is Day Forty-Four. Six days of leave taken total.)