Sandy Supposes....

Stumblin' Sandy?

Creation Saturday! A major toy company is creating an action figure of you! What is its theme, what's it look like, and does it do anything fun or cool? Tell us what accessories it comes with, and describe the world it belongs in.

         

         

         

         

         

         

         

         Okay, just so we're clear... the key word is "action", correct? This denotes movement, and the doing of something. A toy on a par with G.I. Joe?

         Hmmm.... I don't believe anyone would manufacture, or then choose to play with a Mom action figure. This toy isn't feasible. All the actions of a Mom couldn't possibly be replicated. Many are unbelievable, perhaps bordering on mystical, magical, mysterious, and plain inexplicable.

         I mean I sorta have a signature move, but I fail to envision it as the basis for a toy. My "action" revolves around accidents, and thus I fall down more than most two-legged people. I tend to gravitate towards being described as accident-prone, clumsy, or klutzy. In short, I cannot seem to resist gravity. Just yesterday, I perched on my loveseat attempting to hang some newly-framed photos, when gravity yanked me down onto the floor. Clearly, there was no slip, or loss of balance.

         My action figure could never be on a par with Superman Superwoman. Leaping a tall building in a single bound is difficult when you struggle to climb a set of stairs, or descend those same steps. Running at the speed of light is only a fantasy when your own feet aren't coordinated enough to stumble a mere few inches.

         Sigh, my lifelike action figure would be marked with a few realistic-looking scars, and some colourful bruises. It's a female, yet not a Barbie. We've got to keep this real.

         I'm not into billowing capes. A cape would just be a liability, something to trip over, or something to get snagged. Tights would just get torn. Denim jeans are a wee bit more practical and hearty. I suppose the alternate costume would consist of sweat pants, or track pants. They tend to be more forgiving and they will fit over my various accessories.

         Do I need a catchy name? How about Calamity Kate, or Klutzy Kim, or Stumblin' Sandy?

         Okay, my accessories, or extras would be all the paraphernalia a walking wounded woman collects. My figure, pitiful as it is, will come with an assortment of plaster casts that fit over all of the major limbs. Of course, canes, crutches, and a wheelchair will be part of the ensemble. Don't forget about the two walking/cast boots. A mega carton of bandages in various sizes will be included, also. A fun option could be a portable x-ray machine. Maybe the manufacturer should add a gurney/stretcher, an ambulance, and paramedics.          

The fun comes from attempting to stuff this figure into a car, or a bus, or a train, or an airplane. Mobility issues will be discovered. Manoeuver this hapless figure through everyday scenarios where crowds tend to gather.

         It belongs in the real world this figure of calamities. I foresee complete play sets that replicate hospitals; waiting rooms, an x-ray department, a treatment room. and more.