Evolution of love

NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCES

I will share my near-death experience and will make it as brief as possible. In the summer of 1995 in Connecticut, I was alone at home gardening and by accident put my hand into a black wasp or hornet's nest. Being allergic, I went into anaphylactic shock but had enough time to call 911 before I went into full shock.
While in the ambulance, I could hear the paramedics discussing the severity of my condition and the last words I remember from then was, ‘We don’t have a pulse. She is flatlining. If we give her any more medication it will kill her.’ Then some other debate over what to do. Then I was gone.

I went directly to a place of light. It was calm and immediate. There was no tunnel or any sensation of travel. The place where I was I perceived to be analogous in a way to the exterior of an entryway. Not fully in heaven. There was one major being of love and many other beings of love with actual personhood or souls. I could not see much but light and vague outlines in a way.

There was nothing but love, goodness, truth, and all things to do with love. There was no room for fear or evil or anything but this love. It was more wonderful than any of my best hopes or experiences on this planet. It was beyond perfect and loving, as we in our human state know it. There are no words to describe it. I was so happy to be there. I was shown a close up picture of my daughter's face and was told that she would need me. I was fifty-five at the time and my daughter was in her junior year of college. The major heavenly being of love who I call God, which seemed masculine to me in a way, imparted the message to me directly through thought that I could stay or I could go back.

My sense was that it would please God if I went back to earth. I loved him so that just knowing this made me want to please Him. He warned that it would not be easy for me back on earth and gave me a chance to ‘consider.’ Then the second I decided in my mind to go back, I woke up in the hospital bed.

The hives were like bunches of grapes on my body and I was on oxygen mixed with medication. I was hooked up to tubes. There were many doctors around me. They were amazed at the condition of my body and that I regained consciousness.

Several months after that, I went through a horrible divorce. My divorce attorney, as well as the judge, was bribed or swayed in some way by my ex-husband to rule unfairly in my divorce. I believe. My beautiful home was foreclosed on and I was left in debt while my ex-husband kept millions. I had to take a teaching job in a dangerous school because of my age and lack of recent teaching experience. It was the mid-school year. One terrible experience after another occurred that compromised my health and physical condition.

I finally remarried after five years. Then my daughter did need me. She was married and had a dangerous life-threatening pregnancy that left her on complete bed rest, hemorrhaging often and having other complications. Her baby girl was born one month early but was healthy, beautiful, and identified as gifted now at five years of age. The child's chances were about one in a million to survive. My daughter and granddaughter did need me as I cared for her mother throughout her pregnancy. There have been many times that weren't as dramatic where my daughter did need me, as well.

So the hard times, my daughter needing me and the vivid indescribable near-death experience changed my life. Now the injustices of this world, the mistakes that I made in my choices and still make are even clearer to me. I can see that those poor choices are not in keeping with the love I knew from my Heavenly God. I see how our heart attitudes need to be aligned with His and how we need to seek a relationship with Him striving toward being one with or in Him.

I can't express all the impressions I gained in earthly words. But the experience made me want to continue my spiritual growth, my work here on earth, to please God and become like Him even more so. I also feel that I want to encourage others on the path to conform to God and His total and perfect love. I miss God and the taste of heaven but I know there is a reason for me to be here. I feel sad that I have not reached the level of being a truly highly evolved loving being yet but I feel that God knows I love Him and I am trying.

There is so very much more that words can't express but what I have written is about the best I can describe of my experience in mere human words. I want to read many accounts of near-death or clinical death experiences. Each one is tailored for us, it seems, yet there are common elements. I also wish all others could know that holy and positive experience of my near death or know about it and believe.

God is manifest perfect, heartbreakingly complete, highly evolved love. Yet he is a being with a soul and identity. My sense was that we all are on a path to that love and to God. The main purpose is love and realizing the source, which is God. What can be is so beautiful and right. Others, all others, count even nature and precious animals. Our purpose, our goal is God and his perfect love to continually learn and serve God. We must love and serve each other, love ourselves, and grow spiritually. But we have a free will to not be aligned with God at any point. We must understand God's love, understand the opposite of it and how destructive and wrong it is, then reach toward God to have a beautiful and completely loving existence.

I feel disappointed when I hear medical people and scientists try to explain away the most important piece that humans need to know. There is a God who is perfect, who exudes and promotes only love and truth. All the vain striving, the egos, the greed, wars, and all the evils only hurt us. God wants so much better for us. The sin in myself is more apparent and can be frustrating when I can't overcome it. The end is a beautiful ending. Know that if you choose.