Carly's Ramblings Blog - Style

Love Is A Gift... and When It's Not

Blog City - Day 1644

Prompt: “If you are in love with somebody, that love is a gift to you.” Sri-Sri
What are your thoughts on the subject, and is that love still a gift when your beloved mistreats you?

Now first of all it the gift 'to love someone' or is it 'to be loved by someone'?

I am thinking the love is reciprocated... and in that case the love is both a gift to you and to them. If that love is received but then you are mistreated, then that is not a gift to you. It is a gift they are intent on smashing about and mistreating. The person giving the love is drawn to them and staying with them... they are in a minefield of pain and anxiety and nobody deserves that.

The gift in that case would be to extricate yourself from that unhealthy situation and move on. The sad part is, many stay... and bring children into that vortex of chaos and pain. Love is hard to learn in that situation. Fear, instead breeds like a virus and plagues their lives if they can't break the cycle of unhealthy 'love'.

If your beloved supposedly loves you and mistreats you it is not love. Love is kind and forgiving and generous... all those good things in Corinthians 13. Someone who mistreats you does not know what love is; they were probably never shown love and so it is expressed as they learned it, with conditions and restrictions that are not going to let the relationship thrive and grow, but sputter and die.

Healthy love is a gift and a treasure. Those in a healthy love relationship can count on one another and trust each other. Growth and change happens and they are able to go with the changing times and adapt. It is not without conflict, but it is open to communication and compromise.... and both partners must compromise. If it becomes one-sided, communication must be used to get back on track. Those is a healthy relationship work together for the good of both partners.

Resentments and conflicts must be addressed and dealt with so that both partners feel heard and understood. If not dealt with the relationship festers and could die if proper action is not taken.

Some of us don't learn how to communicate our needs and tend to let the other person run their agenda and that is all well and good until that other person decides they don't want to be in charge anymore... or they claim to want more input from their partner... who does not know how to express themselves.

Love relationships are fragile. They must be maintained and cared for by both partners.