Evolution of Love 2

The Illusion of Attainment

Spring blossom. Now, why is it necessary to empty the mind in this way? Because if you are held back by even a single thought, the eighty-four thousand defilements will still arise. Therefore, Taego Pou said, ‘One does not do anything.’ Since what is past is gone, thoughts of it are forgotten. And any thought of what is yet to come does not occur. When all thoughts of past and future have been cut off, there will also be no thought of the present.

But is such a state of emptiness a good thing? It sometimes happens that a practitioner who has been meditating on a hua-t’ou for a while becomes dazed. His hold on the hua-t’ou becomes weak and dull; all thinking stops and he finds himself in a quiet and vacant state. He sits very still and his body feels extremely relaxed. Even if he sits all day, he will not be aware of any pain in his legs; and at night he will not be aware of sleep. Occasionally the body is entirely forgotten and there is no consciousness of either the existence or nonexistence of the world. Such a person just sits in utter quiescence. Of course, one might think that such emptiness is very good. But in fact, it is a mistake to think that one is truly practicing, should one slip into this empty and vacant state.

Should this state of emptiness occur, one must not just hold on to it and watch it. One must not even hold on to the thought that one must not hold on to it. And the thought of not holding on to this thought must also disappear. Even the thought of not holding on to the thought of not holding on must likewise be abandoned. If one can just hold the hua-t’ou alone in a state of vivid quiescence, then that vivid quiescence’ itself will reveal a brilliant spiritual light. Now here too one might very easily make the mistake of thinking oneself to be enlightened. This would be crazy. When reaching this stage, many people go and drown themselves in the thought that they have awakened.

At this point, the practitioner finds himself at a very difficult stage. Although he may try to go forward, he cannot. And if he wants to go back, he cannot do that either. Neither is he able to go to the right or the left. It is indeed a very difficult period. Yet under no circumstances should he give rise to the thought that he has gained any realization or attainment. He must just continue holding firmly on to the hua-t’ou and inquiring very earnestly.

When coming, the hua-t’ou is coming; when going, the hua-t’ou is going. Only when such a state is maintained throughout the twenty-four hours of the day in all of the four positions can the practice truly be said to be advancing. Although you sit all day, there is no sitting; although you sleep all night, there is no sleeping; and even if you eat all day and night, nothing will have been eaten. Now the hua-t’ou is one-pointed and you reach the stage where it becomes a single homogenous mass. This is a very good sign. But now there is the danger that you may think that you have attained enlightenment. It would be foolish to say that yet.

At this stage, one’s practice truly starts to get underway. Prior to this time, one had never really taken hold of the hua-t’ou. Thus to have dwelt upon some little experience one may have had when in fact the hua-t’ou was absent was just a state of foolishness far from the true Way. Only now can one say that the hua-t’ou has come into one’s own hand. At this time nothing further can be added and nothing can be taken away. Now it is important to practice correctly and never let go of the hua-t’ou. In fact it is as though one is taking up the hua-t’ou afresh.

In the course of one’s practice, it is as though one has to take hold of the hua-t’ou two or three times anew. At the stage of emptiness when nothing at all appears, one clings to the emptiness. Likewise, at the stage of vivid quiescence and the emergence of the brilliant spiritual light, one clings to this brilliant light. And again, at the stage of the single homogenous mass, one can be hindered once more. Thus three times one is hindered.

At this time how should one take hold of the hua-t’ou? One must turn inwards and look back. But this looking back is not that of the physical eye but of the mind’s eye. In earnest, one must inquire into what Chao Chou (Jap. Joshu) meant. Why did he say ‘No’? One must behave like an old mouse entering the horn of a cow. Attracted by the smell of food, the mouse crawls into the horn without any thought of danger. But then it gets stuck and cannot move either forwards or backwards. Likewise, one must take hold of the hua-t’ou without any care for living or dying.

When you practice in this way all thoughts of sleeping, eating and even dying will be forgotten. One just dwells single-pointedly on the hua-t’ou to which one has to awaken. Everything completely falls away — even the thought of awakening itself. If you penetrate the hua-t’ou with great determination, the path of words is cut off and any place for the mind to dwell disappears. It now becomes very transparent, bright and clear. At this time the mature person no longer has any doubts about the words of the great masters. But upon awakening in such a way, the time has come when he must go and see a realized teacher to determine whether his awakening is genuine or not. This is the moment when one has to cut and polish one’s understanding with a good teacher. Yet to people who do not know, one does not say a word. One behaves like a dumb and stupid person. Upon meeting someone else who also knows, a simple movement of the eyes is enough for each to recognize the level of the other’s understanding. In these ways, such people respect one another.