Carly's Ramblings Blog - Style

Do I Really Know How To Write?

Blog City - Day 2036

Day 2036 February 1, 2020
"I believe now that I'm no longer capable of writing. It's not that I don't know what to write, but how to write it. That's what they say is a crisis. But in my case, it's something inside me, something which is affecting my whole life" -Michelangelo Antonioni
What are your thoughts on this quote? Do you ever feel like this?

This type of thinking bubbles up every so often. Particularly when I am feeling overwhelmed with my NaNoWriMo story. I doubt myself and wonder if I can ever pull it off. Sure, I am still fledgling along in the first draft, but the thing is getting unwieldly and the insecurities set in. They are hard to banish once they set in... they are like barnacles attached to the bottom of my floundering ship.

Unless, I am able to shift gears, get out of my own way, and get down to scrap off those barnacles, I will go nowhere. Sometimes just working through it doggedly, I am able to break through... breaking off the brain sucking molluscs and moving into new territory. Free and clear... for awhile anyway.

Sometimes it helps to changes gears. Write something else for awhile - some poetry, a short story, even switching genres to stretch myself out of the rut I have fallen into. It is also a blast to win a contest for one of those things. That reinforces my faith in myself and sets me back on track.

Either way, one must remain vigilant. The mind has a way of letting these dark thoughts in and focusing on them lets them fester and grow. I have been practicing meditation - Sahaja Yoga meditation - which allows me to just let the thoughts go. Acknowledging that they are only that - thoughts - and they don't have to define me or my life.