Spiral Bound Journal

Hey, Man

"Hey, Man" by Nelly Furtado, originally released 2001

"Do I deserve to have a birthday?"

Mitch peers at me through his smartphone camera. "Of course you do. Why do you ask?"

"I-" I start, "I didn't get a lot of sleep last night. I was too busy contributing to the overload of the local 911 lines. There were some dipshits on my street setting off signal flares and pissing in the middle of the road. I also saw them load a guy in the back of a small SUV, like that doesn't look super shady."

"That sounds really rough."

"And we have an right PM curfew tonight."

"Can't be too cautious, I imagine."

"No, and there's always the possibility that the protesters will get close to my neighborhood. They aren't my main concern."

"You're afraid of who might be hiding among them," Mitch supplies.

"Bingo."

"Yeah, I was reading the MPR link you shared. I'd say even if the white supremacist threat was initially overstated it's not a concern that can be brushed off."

"Contrary to what some, ah, 'public figures' are saying."

"Yeah, Gazelka can piss up a rope."

A giggle escapes from my throat. "My condolences to the rope."

"Haha! True story. But getting back to the whole birthday thing, is there anything else that makes you ask if you deserve a birthday?"

I shift in place. "It feels odd to do anything even remotely celebratory in light of George Floyd's death. I mean, I didn't know the man, but the end of his life has certainly reached into the core of every Minneapolis resident right now."

"Your conscience isn't wrong, and yeah, it is rather soon," Mitch replies. "And I can't imagine all the stress from the last few days. It's a lot, I know. If you don't want to celebrate, you could reframe it as a moment to yourself. Maybe give yourself permission to pause your attention to injustice an inaccuracy for a day."

"Well, that sounds good in theory. I just feel like if I don't keep going in telling people what's actually happening they'll keep beliving the panicked lies. Time is of the essence here."

"Hmmm," Mitch murmurs. "You do tend to take a more even keeled approach to sharing news, and that's pretty rare. I'll tell you what. I'll share your links and let people outside your social circle know what you're experiencing. Would that help?"

I give Mitch a tiny smile. "Yeah. I think it would?"

"Good. Consider it an extra birthday gift. When things settle down I'll swing by and bring you your main one."

"I look forward to that day. Hopefully it'll be soon."

"I hope so, too. You deserve a birthday, Christine. You deserve many, in fact. You really do."