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 |   All that remains: here in my afterlife as a 'mainstream' blogger, with what little I know. |
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The Idiotic Ideate?? Formerly: New Zenith To Hell…(all started with arc as writer here from the trials of Rising Stars to Preferred Author to WDC Quills Best Poetry Collection to the falling action I feel now that settles in a white case.) Got to hustle to preserve the best of me before fully fading on that virtual horizon glowing more brilliant with each passing day to permanent nuclear winter. if people don’t get it, I don’t need to explain it. We kill all that’s beautiful before we question it’s purpose. So many people find it easier to think in the black and the white. God forbid you get lost straying in the gray. "Whoever fights monsters should see to it…he does not become a monster.” I’ve been to the abyss and back. Not so bad. The loneliest happy person you'd ever meet, when not the saddest person who needs to be alone. In an ever-changing world, we need to handle topics at the ready. If you roll over and give in to the narrative without lending a voice of your own, you might as well hand over your civil liberties. We have voices that should connect to true conscience and spirit for honest and open discourse. Why feel so redacted? Unify on issues and put drama aside. Open minds require complete objectivity. If none need apply, question the unbendable sources for answer. If you knee-jerk react to every issue lurking out there that clutches your neck, you fall victim to your own ignorance born from a life of apathy (no doubt) in pathetic cries of injustice. Just writing what I feel without the narrative-altering mind f---ing with my head. [MY Chorus] In your house, I long to be Room by room, patiently I'll wait for you there, like a stone I'll wait for you there, alone "It amazed me how truth was often suffocated in minutes, but lies were given sufficient air to breathe indefinitely." "You are all better than you think you are, you are just designed not to believe it when you hear it from yourself." ![Merit Badge in Second Time Around Contest
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Congratulations on winning the Grand Overall Prize in [Link To Item #2164876] with your beautiful poem, [Link to Book Entry #933358]. This poem really moved me. Great writing!
Rachel *^*Heartv*^*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-Second_Time_Around_Contest-2164963_14.gif)    "...lasting art is never anything more than a mathematical expression of the relations that exist between the internal and the external, the self [le moi] and the world." -Jean Metzinger I'm in love with carefully chosen words, arranged just so, audible, edible, to inhale. I attempt to post new poems and epiphanies daily with some links to what inspires. I am legally blind with a rare, genetic form of glaucoma. I'm described as "end stage" after two successful surgeries, still subject to further vision loss. Cataracts complicating matters. Writing Can get strenuous but seldom deters what yearns to emerge, despite a documented history of depression and recently diagnosed ADHD and undefinable social disorders and/or PTSD. My recent poetry:
Sometimes epiphanies about my insights on writing and life and what goes on... Making sense of life is maddening. Why do I need to know, when truth may not actually exist? Learning to accept would be a better pursuit? Flailing about in my own mediocrity, hoping to bust out. I am visible. You can put a face with a name. I would like to see other writers, too. Fiction is what you write, not who you are. Reinventing myself. I couldn't continue on the path I was on and needed a fresh start. This time around I want to put the focus on writing and the world outside of this community as it affects my life. I realize now that I have been baring my chest a bit more, as when young. fake me much more boring and unliberated than the real me. A world arriving as silent as that blossom in your garden that I told you about... |
| I sometimes wonder if I should write an explanation with every poem I write. I shouldn't have to, right? Except, this is a perfect opportunity to help reviewers deconstruct what they are seeing, what they are missing. I have seen reviews that meander. They try to offer input and perhaps pick up on something that they think they understand and misinterpret and the whole review goes south. I feel sorry for them that I cannot give them more to go on. Perhaps, they are not up for the challenge of decrypting poetry such as some of the stuff I offer, when I'm really trying to stretch my wings. I also suspect reviewers are not as much concerned with processing what they are reading, but try to sound like they know something. Perhaps, some are just getting their reviews in and the focus is just satisfying some goals. Whatever reason, these motivations are put in place to increase interactions, I suppose. I think it would help both of us, but mostly the reviewers here. I see poets who seem very knowledgeable offer feedback that over-interprets or just assumes that I'm just throwing a bunch of hoo-ha at the screen, like I'm laughing maniacally while they attempt to sound intelligent revealing their high brow reactions. Listen, I'm not even the best interpreter of poetry. I don't want to judge. I look around and I see what's offered and I know where I stand. This is an opportunity for many to learn and that includes me, but not foremost. I sometimes wonder if there is an agenda for some. I know we have a past and I see the players change but not the attitudes, so I'm not sure why sometimes I get the words and expressions sent my way. I am sending very little back on my end, being courteous and generous in my cordial response. I offer very good reviews for some, when I'm hitting my stride. Does the community need me, or want that from this writer/reviewer? I'm puzzled by my underwhelming welcoming here. I get the 'oh no, we appreciate you Brian' line from time-to-time. It's tiring, but I don't care. I came here to develop as a writer 13 years ago, without or without the help of an audience of observers that are mixed to barely existent. I realize what your agenda is, your prerogative. It's questionable at best. I'm not the morality police. So, take a cue to learn something here like I do. I've evolved. I think it's a great chance for other members to see the value in true content. And, that's as nice as I can put it. (of course, I can't stop typing...) I also predict a very sunny morning for more writers who will do this community proud. Meanwhile, overcast with a chance of 13 more years of darkness here, but I don't really care about your systematic segregation. Anything I achieve here, I know I worked for and earned. But, you don't really believe that, because it doesn't benefit some of you. Where is the silver lining in our relationship and why haven't you acknowledged it's true value? Am I cog? I must be a cog. Don't know what I am to you really, because you 'employ' indifference in the upper ranks. I might add, all you liberals out there, I know you to be some of the biggest hypocrites. Nope, I'm not the morality police. Nope, but I said. Sooooo...yeah, gonna let my hat hang on that because I also have a bug up my butt about being true...to myself, I suppose. Whoever is offended by this shouldn't be, unless they must know they are guilty of something. Are some of you guilty of something, I wouldn't point fingers. I'm just very aware. |
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In the Falkland Islands, internet is very limited and very expensive. The place I'm currently staying only lets me use it in the middle of the night, so when I have to get up at 3 am to check my texts (no cell service to the US here unless I'm on the internet) or WdC, I don't do nearly as much as I used to. 
I currently have 2 very long emails I still need to get to from several days ago. Anyway, I miss everyone, but I also miss sleep, so there's that. 
Have you spoken to the doctor about your vision problems lately? I know there are special glasses for it because I have to wear them to read much ever since the brain injury. It's part of why I now only listen to audiobooks instead of reading regular books. It took 8 years for anyone to diagnose it because I have a brain injury and while one might think it would be obvious to me that I see double, it wasn't. Partly, my brain does a fair job of compensating. But also, partly, you use your brain to realize and understand that the 2 images you constantly see are double vision and something you should mention to your eye doctor. Since my brain was damaged, even basic things like that can escape me. 
I never once thought to mention it, even with annual eye exams in the Army and an exam every 2 years at the VA. Though, in my defense, since it happens in something like 41% of people with a brain injury, it should have been discovered by an eye doctor much sooner. 
I know doing that activity is a CRAP TON of work. But you made a difference in lives, not just his, but for all the people he's reviewed since. 
Well done! 
