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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books/item_id/1300042-SuperNova-Afterglow-End-Of-Days/month/5-1-2020
Rated: 18+ · Book · Writing · #1300042
All that remains: here in my afterlife as a 'mainstream' blogger, with what little I know.
The Idiotic Ideate??

Formerly: New Zenith To Hell…(all started with arc as writer here from the trials of Rising Stars to Preferred Author to WDC Quills Best Poetry Collection to the falling action I feel now that settles in a white case.)
Got to hustle to preserve the best of me before fully fading on that virtual horizon glowing more brilliant with each passing day to permanent nuclear winter.

if people don’t get it, I don’t need to explain it.


We kill all that’s beautiful before we question it’s purpose. So many people find it easier to think in the black and the white. God forbid you get lost straying in the gray.

"Whoever fights monsters should see to it…he does not become a monster.”
I’ve been to the abyss and back. Not so bad.

The loneliest happy person you'd ever meet, when not the saddest person who needs to be alone.

In an ever-changing world, we need to handle topics at the ready. If you roll over and give in to the narrative without lending a voice of your own, you might as well hand over your civil liberties. We have voices that should connect to true conscience and spirit for honest and open discourse. Why feel so redacted?

Unify on issues and put drama aside. Open minds require complete objectivity. If none need apply, question the unbendable sources for answer. If you knee-jerk react to every issue lurking out there that clutches your neck, you fall victim to your own ignorance born from a life of apathy (no doubt) in pathetic cries of injustice.

Just writing what I feel without the narrative-altering mind f---ing with my head.

[MY Chorus]
In your house, I long to be
Room by room, patiently
I'll wait for you there, like a stone
I'll wait for you there, alone

"It amazed me how truth was often suffocated in minutes, but lies were given sufficient air to breathe indefinitely."


"You are all better than you think you are, you are just designed not to believe it when you hear it from yourself."


Merit Badge in Second Time Around Contest
[Click For More Info]

Congratulations on winning the Grand Overall Prize in  [Link To Item #2164876]  with your beautiful poem, [Link to Book Entry #933358]. This poem really moved me. Great writing!

Rachel *^*Heartv*^*

                   A signature image for use by anyone nominated for a Quill in 2018                    

"...lasting art is never anything more than a mathematical expression of the relations that exist between the internal and the external, the self [le moi] and the world." -Jean Metzinger

I'm in love with carefully chosen words, arranged just so, audible, edible, to inhale. I attempt to post new poems and epiphanies daily with some links to what inspires.

I am legally blind with a rare, genetic form of glaucoma. I'm described as "end stage" after two successful surgeries, still subject to further vision loss. Cataracts complicating matters. Writing Can get strenuous but seldom deters what yearns to emerge, despite a documented history of depression and recently diagnosed ADHD and undefinable social disorders and/or PTSD.

My recent poetry:

BOOK
Poetic Referendum(s) On Life  (18+)
10k views, 2x BestPoetryCollection. A nothing from nowhere cast words to a world wide wind
#1149750 by Brian K Compton, Machinehead


Sometimes epiphanies about my insights on writing and life and what goes on...

Making sense of life is maddening. Why do I need to know, when truth may not actually exist? Learning to accept would be a better pursuit? Flailing about in my own mediocrity, hoping to bust out.

I am visible. You can put a face with a name. I would like to see other writers, too. Fiction is what you write, not who you are.

Reinventing myself. I couldn't continue on the path I was on and needed a fresh start. This time around I want to put the focus on writing and the world outside of this community as it affects my life.

I realize now that I have been baring my chest a bit more, as when young. fake me much more boring and unliberated than the real me.

A world arriving as silent as that blossom in your garden that I told you about...
May 31, 2020 at 1:49pm
May 31, 2020 at 1:49pm
#984678
A little bit more knowledge. My brother-in-law is a retired Michigan State Trooper who alerted me years ago he is suspicious of our country headed toward a police state. With recent riots and response across the country with the President's incendiary remarks, I had to google and learn. Now I know why the CNN reporters were arrested on live TV the other morning in Minnesota, if you'll read...

https://www.pbs.org/wnet/need-to-know/the-daily-need/are-we-becoming-a-police-st...

I'm sure post pandemic this is not what the government wants or could have foreseen happening. However, my brother-in-law spotted earpieces in the ears of some of those masked rioters in reports he watched from his area of Detroit.

If this is organized, it feels like groups are taking advantage of a vulnerable time in a political year, for whatever reasons.

I get images of a lot of questionable stuff from our nation's past from 911 to the fires destroying America's churches some 20 years ago.

I know the nation is outraged, but this feels extreme. I just don't see diplomacy setting this right.

Regarding George Floyd's horrible death at the hands of a white officer, I was also unaware (until my wife showed me a photo this morning) about the race of the other responding.

All of these things just make me wonder why the rage and hostility has gotten this far out of hand, when they've fired all four officers and promised a criminal investigation. I want to read or see something that can inform me more why American citizens are responding in this fashion that would ease my concerns that their is anything political to totalitarian motivation behind this.

There is a nation with a lot of time on their hands this summer, without jobs, sports, family activities and more from shut downs to the slow down in our economy. I hope there are some good people with diplomatic intentions ready to roll up their sleeves and go to work. I fear the Sunday columnists like the New York Times will paint a slightly slanted picture that isn't designed to resolve but embroil a weakness in our nation in its current state. If you read, details of events are conveniently left out. Like, over 70% of rioters arrested in Minnesota were from out of state.


One more thought, President Trump needs to retire from Twitter. You're 'very, very bad' tweeting isn't helping matters. You need to be more presidential than what you are exhibiting (did you really quote George Wallace?) and are not unifying (but dividing) a country (you are hired to lead) with comments you have to clarify after it's too late. I agree, we should act like grown ups, rather than children and blame you for our 'very, very bad things.' But, you have to talk to people like they are adults, just this short of patronizing. I'm sensing your dignity is more important than a two dollar face covering. We can upgrade you to the Presidential Seal if you like, Sir.


But yeah, totalitarianism has reared its ugly head. Just wanted to let you know.


Forgive me if I don't edit this right away, if ever. Not sure how much I want my brain spinning on subject like this. I really don't have time for passion as a reporter anymore. Or as a citizen of this great country. As long as the beer flows and my backyard blooms, I'll write my odes to nature and the returning echoes in the hollow of my heart.
May 31, 2020 at 11:05am
May 31, 2020 at 11:05am
#984668
I’ve got insight and opinions on a lot of things that I could write about. I don’t have enough people to consort with who will network With a journalist about this era arriving. It seems appropriately apocalyptic. Civil unrest following a pandemic and I’m sure more is in store.

I can’t talk about my favorite food to what movies I like. Set aside the trivial talk. Let’s get to the meat of it. Why doesn’t civil discourse exist? When they invented PC lingo and the internet, freedom of speech went sideways and backward. So many opportunities to stay informed, except the media is owned by conservatives or liberals. Nothing truly centered on getting to the truth in an ever dividing world that had a chance to co-exist and coalesce post Martin Luther King or John Lennon and Barrack Obama.

I suck at typing on my phone. I hate this. I am tired of restraint. Time to loose these tongues, seek sensible people who can’t diplomatically get a firm footing on unrest and mend not just a nation, but the world.

Love. Peace.
May 29, 2020 at 10:10am
May 29, 2020 at 10:10am
#984541

I was ready to call it yesterday, as I posted on Twitter. No NBA or MLB or NHL (can't forget them) this season.

All these media stories about talks of when and how they'll resume is tiring and a charade. It makes me think they do it to remain relevant. People are discovering there's more to life than sports. And, fan bases could shrink, losing fringe viewers who will find and are finding other interests outside of sports.

Kids summer sports programs were canceled long ago and now today is word that minor league baseball is cutting hundreds of players and more expected to be handed pink slips, signaling ab end of one baseball season.

I'm looking at you next, NFL.

NBA would have seen a trophy hoisted this coming month. Hockey, too. MLB's tiresome summer sked would be two months in. College sports are also on the hot seat this fall. I'll believe when any football training camps are fully open for team drills.

But still, revenue is key. Who's going to concessions in empty stadiums? Sales of swag will dwindle without visions of scintillating highlight reels on scoreboards or videos boasting on ESPN. Nightmare just trying to get people to social distance at a grocery store, let alone get all to agree to wear masks publicly. You don't have the manpower or the capability to ensure the safety of people at your venues, let alone the athletes, staff and attending media. So, I'm learning toward no sports at all until end of year, and possibly more.

So, get used to this new world full of boogie man diseases. Get used to shuttering in your homes and taking extra precautions when you travel. The sports world as we know it will drastically and radically change after this, similar to how HIV-AIDS also reshaped our logic in an innocent world.


I'll think on this more later. 20-minute write.
I'll post Twitter links later.

May 24, 2020 at 12:34pm
May 24, 2020 at 12:34pm
#984236
George Carlin surprised me in the early 80s with a revelation during one of his standup specials, I think on HBO. Thanks to cable he didn't have to self-edit about how angry and disturbed he could get. He was a comic genius who could also be quite silly, but I always imagined comics to be funny. There wasn't another side to that coin. And what he helped me realize was humor can come from rage and deep-seated feelings that need construction expression to fully realize and relate to others who feel the same way but cannot express it.

It was about this time I was also discovering Richard Pryor and his rage. Comics we're opening up about how they felt and how society was affecting them. Perhaps, the origins of self-discovery and pop psychology are partly rooted in standup comedy from this era.

I listen to Carlin relate that his entire day would be ruined if he tripped over a crack in the sidewalk. My mind was blown. I was partially sad to see this side of him and thrilled that the two of us shared a commonality We could get so easily upset about the smallest of things. It might be that we are deep in thought and prefer not be disturbed. The disconnect from our inner processes are startled by simple incidents like this. It could be a child gently asking for a father's attention while busied with writing streams of thought into an internet portal, as my case in recent years.

But when I was experiencing Carlin's revelations, I was insecure around other young adults and just wanted to put on my best appearance. I didn't want to be the subject of ridicule or shame because someone saw me accidently acting a boob by walking into a door. Carlin taught me not to take myself so seriously and learn to laugh at my mistakes, though I doubt he took a cue from his own missive. I think he was just deconstructing what made him so intense, which leant to his comic genius and a wordsmith in his own right.

The whole approach to standup comedy was becoming observations of the world, the human condition. It was searching for irony in the way we are humanly constructed to live with shame, to preen and put on our best appearances rather than show ourselves warts and all. Where it was once funny to laugh at people slipping on banana peels, I developed a sense of self-deprecating humor.


Here I walk into an internet community wanting to divulge the best parts of myself and play upon it because it can be so loving and rewarding. But, when you fall short of expectations and true goals, a writer can have adverse reactions to it. It is a world just like any other that feeds off shame and insecurity to manipulate those emotions, to either nurture or reject accordingly, however it fits in the plan.

Social media; bunch of narcissists. I cannot even imagine a world inside Instagram; and I value my image, my self-worth enough to know where not to reside within walls of indifference. My son, easily accepts these internet living conditions where he will find himself, but cannot find a real world where he can get his course work done and pass his classes to move on to his junior year. He would have gotten academically booted to the curb if not for a pandemic. He is facing humiliation because he could not express the number of times he kept tripping over the same place in the walk, even though family and school stood at the ready to help and support him.

So, today, I doubly fail. First as a parent, which I will live with until this somehow turns around. But second, as a resident of the internet. I trip and trip and trip and smile. I could do a cartwheel at the end, but no one would give a rat's behind. Maybe, I intimidate or piss people off when I get too intense. My goals, my expectations unmet cause me to stew and think I deserve better, and I do. I can't get accepted as I am, because I'm no George Carlin. I have not found an arena for my ability to advance myself and thrive. And, it's all because I hold back.

I learned from Carlin to laugh at myself. But, I also learned not to try. I don't put myself out there to fail, because I never feel supported or ready to try. With enough evidence returning from a world that doesn't appreciate my hostility and how it's revealed, I'm unworthy of further foray. I feel like being a cog in the surrounding systematic indifference applied, rather than a finely oiled thing that could keep this machination inside the internet moving. I burn to be the thing that smokes and smolders within a negated existence that offers phony platitudes and 'thank you for not smoking' warnings. People need hear hard truths the way Carlin revealed them to me.

I'd say that's the end, for now.
To be edited later. 5.24.20

My apologies to my son who I am trying to support. I'm taking blame for his situation. But, it's time he take ownership of his own mistakes and start being a man.

This is probably just the first of my blog entries revealing feelings about manipulation and corruption on the internet.

May 20, 2020 at 6:17pm
May 20, 2020 at 6:17pm
#984006
I sometimes wonder if I should write an explanation with every poem I write. I shouldn't have to, right? Except, this is a perfect opportunity to help reviewers deconstruct what they are seeing, what they are missing.

I have seen reviews that meander. They try to offer input and perhaps pick up on something that they think they understand and misinterpret and the whole review goes south. I feel sorry for them that I cannot give them more to go on. Perhaps, they are not up for the challenge of decrypting poetry such as some of the stuff I offer, when I'm really trying to stretch my wings. I also suspect reviewers are not as much concerned with processing what they are reading, but try to sound like they know something. Perhaps, some are just getting their reviews in and the focus is just satisfying some goals. Whatever reason, these motivations are put in place to increase interactions, I suppose.

I think it would help both of us, but mostly the reviewers here. I see poets who seem very knowledgeable offer feedback that over-interprets or just assumes that I'm just throwing a bunch of hoo-ha at the screen, like I'm laughing maniacally while they attempt to sound intelligent revealing their high brow reactions.

Listen, I'm not even the best interpreter of poetry. I don't want to judge. I look around and I see what's offered and I know where I stand. This is an opportunity for many to learn and that includes me, but not foremost.

I sometimes wonder if there is an agenda for some. I know we have a past and I see the players change but not the attitudes, so I'm not sure why sometimes I get the words and expressions sent my way. I am sending very little back on my end, being courteous and generous in my cordial response. I offer very good reviews for some, when I'm hitting my stride. Does the community need me, or want that from this writer/reviewer? I'm puzzled by my underwhelming welcoming here. I get the 'oh no, we appreciate you Brian' line from time-to-time. It's tiring, but I don't care. I came here to develop as a writer 13 years ago, without or without the help of an audience of observers that are mixed to barely existent. I realize what your agenda is, your prerogative. It's questionable at best. I'm not the morality police.

So, take a cue to learn something here like I do. I've evolved. I think it's a great chance for other members to see the value in true content. And, that's as nice as I can put it. (of course, I can't stop typing...)

I also predict a very sunny morning for more writers who will do this community proud. Meanwhile, overcast with a chance of 13 more years of darkness here, but I don't really care about your systematic segregation. Anything I achieve here, I know I worked for and earned. But, you don't really believe that, because it doesn't benefit some of you. Where is the silver lining in our relationship and why haven't you acknowledged it's true value?

Am I cog? I must be a cog. Don't know what I am to you really, because you 'employ' indifference in the upper ranks. I might add, all you liberals out there, I know you to be some of the biggest hypocrites. Nope, I'm not the morality police. Nope, but I said. Sooooo...yeah, gonna let my hat hang on that because I also have a bug up my butt about being true...to myself, I suppose.

Whoever is offended by this shouldn't be, unless they must know they are guilty of something. Are some of you guilty of something, I wouldn't point fingers. I'm just very aware.
May 17, 2020 at 8:01pm
May 17, 2020 at 8:01pm
#983814
Why do we put ourselves out there,
come on in here?
We are the recluses.
I wanted to be discovered
like you and yet
found I must reject your conformity
before my outstretched arms
would receive to your bosom,
to then stand at your side,
look out upon the rest.
I see you don't accept an animal
without stripes bared. I might be spotted,
but I'm not the ordinary one.
And while I sought you out,
eager to share, I saw you discovered
I was becoming a recluse.

While I can share my selfies,
my poems and my words of attitude,
I cannot share who I truly am. I cannot be who I am,
the real Salinger in your world,
knowing some would prey upon me,
pick upon my flesh, pull me apart; and
while I'm resistant to tearing,
I'll not just stand here
in your desert without water,
let your indifference crawl up,
reside within my brain.
I choose recluse ever-most,
my only lonely option,
the sole choice offered non-conformity,
cast within an infinite, societal jail,
for one who arrived for salvation,
a drop of consumable water
in your -- beautiful -- 'community' garden.


5.17.20 edited 5.19

If I click the link to join to comment on the HuffPost article, I've already failed (the writer who counts themself among 'us' doesn't fully grasp why we become reclusive. I'm a day late and a dollar short to inform you, Kim):

https://www.huffingtonpost.ca/kim-smiley/genius-recluses_b_4669001.html

Just one note: the reclusive don't form their own society.
Another: we're hardly empathetic to the cause.
May 16, 2020 at 4:37pm
May 16, 2020 at 4:37pm
#983737
As opined in newsfeed, but probably not seen by the masses. *Laugh*

I've probably done four to five thousand reviews here. But, I don't think I'll ever actually know how many, because people have to delete items to fit within their portfolio parameters. Or, just all out delete their account for whatever reasons.

I don't feel I have that review feather fully stick in my cap. Not that anyone goes out of their way to see the effort that it takes/has taken to provide review content. But, it's like taking four to five thousand essay exams, where you don't want to mail in a 'C' effort because people/professors are watching. Plus, you have the added pressure of knowing the real authors see what you offer, and you respect them enough to really try understand and comment with a measure of intelligence the assembled words they need or want to hear.

I even forget myself to fully comprehend what it takes for just one other member to stroll over and gander at what I share. If they review, it's a blessing. The amount of effort I see from some either really comes from a source of higher experience or a true desire to fully commit to feedback.

Either way, I think reviewing as a writing medium at this website is likely undervalued. But, the act of reading and responding is the true reward.
I just know when I reread my old reviews, what I can still obtain in my port, it helps build my reviewing skills and gives greater perspective.

Appreciate reviews. When related items are gone, they're gone.

"Note: I've probably done four to five thousand revie..."

If you also find sitewide activities alluring and engrossing that you lose all ability to perceive space and time, you might be a writer desperate for some attention to your ability to construct words eliciting response from peers. I commented on Tina Stone's newsfeed thread about her good fortune following the misfortune of deleting many activity files. It was more in response to Alyssa, a faithful follower and word junkie, who felt like she was mailing in her activity posting efforts:

"Chibithulu (Alyssa) ,

I wouldn't begrudge you for the truncated content, because I image these events are designed to be time consuming for whatever reason. We all have lives to live and personal goals to attain as writers foremost. I see the activities as useful as long as it keeps us within target of our own goals and not astray.

In fact, so tedious is it to fully comprehend and comply with multiple activity rules and guidelines, let alone the time it takes to commit to ideate and write, I just step away.

I know we need traffic and activity to keep this site hopping, but I have seen a lot of burnout. It's good folks find fun things to do here. Unfortunate that I see so much resignation of true goals in the process.

God bless you all for trying to keep us entertained. *Heart*

See, I was nice. *Wink*

But to further my point about traffic, I wonder if a great opportunity to take advantage of a captive audience was missed. I saw the efforts to inform and direct people to participate here, post-pandemic awareness in the states. In about that time frame, I've witnessed Writing.Com traffic numbers fall off sharply for the month after its peak on March 4th (per Alexa.Com free traffic stats). Activity has continued to slowly drop in the time since.

I'm certain that this is a seasonal effect, nonetheless. However, when you consider that people were essentially sequestered, around the world mind you, it's possible whatever efforts may have been made to drive traffic may have missed the mark. I can't speak to it with any authority other than as someone who stands in the shadows, watches and has learned over thirteen years as mainly a sideline participant.

I see strategies and types of members who are drawn here, cultivated as preferred members and moderators to do whatever it is they do to help WDC thrive. Some really good people trying to do really saintly-type stuff. I know that there are some that buy in. The result to me is there is not a lot of worthy content floating about for people floating through the internet streams to discover. Unfortunate. I'm old timer. I've seen better days. I'm sure it's no ones fault. I'm not criticizing. I'm trying to just be that bellwether in the storm, just one of the indicators to help with someone who is inclined with any prognosticating ability. Ship's off course a might.

I should shut up, right? Send the PR consultant over to have a talk with me about my blog content. Are you sure?

Listen, there are billions of websites around the world. You got lucky on the domain name and it is likely the diving rod that draws a mecca. But, it's not holding anyone here. If you look at the dead sea of cases and wonder why they lie about in purgatory, inactive, and think of the potential of retention. This could be a much greater force in the writing world, community. Perhaps, those at the helm do not have the necessary sea legs to captain such a mighty vessel. Wow, I'm going with this>

Yes, this site has great potential. Some say it's antiquated. But look at the name of the side of this listing ship that cannot possibly capsize and know you are safe here. It might not be aimed for high ground and it might not have the best meals or food and you could get sick, throw up overboard, may jump overboard, but it will keep drawing passengers. It has the capacity for so many more. It could have so many rooms more to explore with really good entertainment you could come back for night after night. But, this is what you get mid pandemic. This is the menu and these are the activities you can expect. Shuffleboard! No, that was an exclamation. I went on to long Oh, shuffleboard!

I love you all. I'll return to my cabin and wait further instruction. Or, worse, remain below deck with no one to talk to. Aye, aye, cappy! he exclaimed.

*Pthb* That's me blowing off air after that long exortation.

I'm not going to check grammar, spelling or word definition at this point. I'm a big boy. I know my English good.
May 16, 2020 at 12:00pm
May 16, 2020 at 12:00pm
#983714
For your consideration:

they painted black
the offending sheep
that veered from the flock
bleated loudly warnings
of the sacrifice and slaughter
others blindly were led

you are not at the table
unless you are the feast,
honey.

they kill messengers, too.

May 15, 2020 at 11:20pm
May 15, 2020 at 11:20pm
#983675
May 10, 2020 at 8:54am
May 10, 2020 at 8:54am
#983219
To the plucky healthcare worker who spent half the night on our couch
comforted by the felines now sleeping on blanket-wrapped legs
and on the arm just above her head -- clouds obscure our horizon --
this morning. Two other truants -- still a-snooze with no plans to lift --
have internet-ordered paraphernalia (on the way), after I announced
she's not my mother just one week before this day. Not my turn to cover her
with flowers to bed, favorite chocolates or exquisite coffee blends
-- it's up to you -- while she is still suffering, post-recovery
from symptoms of a Covid19/SARSCoV-2, what have you, that lynched her
as she performed obediently her newfound hospital duty (to get paid)
-- forced her 18 days in a room on mattress on the floor --
-- shower curtain to divide her in our house her beloved laid waste --
attacked where she greeted ailing symptomatic sufferers of a potential
deadly virus until one of them spilled on the pavement near her face
with her paper-thin PPE, when her true isolation would begin.
-- No hugs for three weeks, no kisses upon the cheek --
certainly could be made up in 24 hours, let alone seven days this week.

As I type and then view through our kitchen window, I am imagining
our neighborhood market arriving, others with symptoms hiding, co-mingling
just inside that obedient, sliding door, knowing I alone could deliver her
all described and much more in just one hour. But, the best gift I can give
is to remain vigilant, stronger and not another sufferer in this crisis
until the last lung heals, she stops complaining post-recovery. And,
would it kill you God to turn back on the sun before she arrives
another abysmal morn in a captive world, inside this sequestered,
ruminating company waiting for the day we can linger outside this door?
May 4, 2020 at 1:53pm
May 4, 2020 at 1:53pm
#982740
Today, is Jen's first day out of isolation from the Coronavirus. It has been 72 hours without major symptoms, which means she can go back to work. But according to of the county health department, the rest of us have to quarantine at home for the next two weeks. That's going to make it difficult for a few upcoming appointments. I have to reschedule the dentist for my daughter and I.

But questions surrounding testing me for the virus before shoulder surgery with my current quarantine are going to make it interesting. I am going to be coming out of Quarantine on the 18th and on the 19th I am scheduled for surgery, tentatively. Part of the problem is, they will need to do a coronavirus test for me going in and then having to quarantine for three days prior to surgery. With me home self quarantining during that time I wouldn't be able to come in three days early, so they're talking about testing me right away to show that I don't have the virus so I don't have to further quarantine another week to two weeks and reschedule that surgery if somehow I test positive.

So, the left shoulder tear is the result of an injury I suffered over 25 years ago and have just lived with because it has not hindered me. However, I did use yoga about 10 years ago and got further mobility out of it and basketball helped, too. It's time had come, especially with this worldwide shutdown. A lot of contact sport and usage caused the rotator cuff to become so deteriorated I could barely reach out to pick up something off my nightstand without pain. I knew it was time. And what they discovered is a 1 cm x 2 cm tear all the way across.

I luck out once again by having the right doctor for my surgery. First time, on my right shoulder, I had the best rotator cuff specialist probably in the state. They said it was like repairing a major league pitcher's arm. And now with my aging, I am fortunate to have a Sports Medicine specialist who would do a surgery on tear as large as mine, despite. The other doctor would've told me to just live with it.

My wife is telling me horror stories about how much harder this is going to be for me to recover from this, versus the first shoulder repair. But this is not a dominant arm, and I don't think that I have to get as full a range of motion from it. I think she thinks that there's gonna be a high pain factor because, but she forgets I have a high pain tolerance. She had me taking too many meds.

I was acting weird on here post surgery in late 2013, early 2014. I sometimes laugh at what I wrote, though I did snag first place in the Dear Me contest in January that year, somehow, against great odds. I'm suspecting greater than 90 to one, if you catch my drift.

So, okay then.

5.5.20

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