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 |   All that remains: here in my afterlife as a 'mainstream' blogger, with what little I know. |
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The Idiotic Ideate?? Formerly: New Zenith To Hell…(all started with arc as writer here from the trials of Rising Stars to Preferred Author to WDC Quills Best Poetry Collection to the falling action I feel now that settles in a white case.) Got to hustle to preserve the best of me before fully fading on that virtual horizon glowing more brilliant with each passing day to permanent nuclear winter. if people don’t get it, I don’t need to explain it. We kill all that’s beautiful before we question it’s purpose. So many people find it easier to think in the black and the white. God forbid you get lost straying in the gray. "Whoever fights monsters should see to it…he does not become a monster.” I’ve been to the abyss and back. Not so bad. The loneliest happy person you'd ever meet, when not the saddest person who needs to be alone. In an ever-changing world, we need to handle topics at the ready. If you roll over and give in to the narrative without lending a voice of your own, you might as well hand over your civil liberties. We have voices that should connect to true conscience and spirit for honest and open discourse. Why feel so redacted? Unify on issues and put drama aside. Open minds require complete objectivity. If none need apply, question the unbendable sources for answer. If you knee-jerk react to every issue lurking out there that clutches your neck, you fall victim to your own ignorance born from a life of apathy (no doubt) in pathetic cries of injustice. Just writing what I feel without the narrative-altering mind f---ing with my head. [MY Chorus] In your house, I long to be Room by room, patiently I'll wait for you there, like a stone I'll wait for you there, alone "It amazed me how truth was often suffocated in minutes, but lies were given sufficient air to breathe indefinitely." "You are all better than you think you are, you are just designed not to believe it when you hear it from yourself." ![Merit Badge in Second Time Around Contest
[Click For More Info]
Congratulations on winning the Grand Overall Prize in [Link To Item #2164876] with your beautiful poem, [Link to Book Entry #933358]. This poem really moved me. Great writing!
Rachel *^*Heartv*^*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-Second_Time_Around_Contest-2164963_14.gif)    "...lasting art is never anything more than a mathematical expression of the relations that exist between the internal and the external, the self [le moi] and the world." -Jean Metzinger I'm in love with carefully chosen words, arranged just so, audible, edible, to inhale. I attempt to post new poems and epiphanies daily with some links to what inspires. I am legally blind with a rare, genetic form of glaucoma. I'm described as "end stage" after two successful surgeries, still subject to further vision loss. Cataracts complicating matters. Writing Can get strenuous but seldom deters what yearns to emerge, despite a documented history of depression and recently diagnosed ADHD and undefinable social disorders and/or PTSD. My recent poetry:
Sometimes epiphanies about my insights on writing and life and what goes on... Making sense of life is maddening. Why do I need to know, when truth may not actually exist? Learning to accept would be a better pursuit? Flailing about in my own mediocrity, hoping to bust out. I am visible. You can put a face with a name. I would like to see other writers, too. Fiction is what you write, not who you are. Reinventing myself. I couldn't continue on the path I was on and needed a fresh start. This time around I want to put the focus on writing and the world outside of this community as it affects my life. I realize now that I have been baring my chest a bit more, as when young. fake me much more boring and unliberated than the real me. A world arriving as silent as that blossom in your garden that I told you about... |
Reading one of the blogs by Kåre Enga in Montana  reminded me of Ayn Rand and especially 'Atlas Shrugged', as we deal as Americans who are apathetic on political and social issues nowadays, or as Kåre says, not 'progressive' (enough).I think we tend to lose our focus. I was googling some of Rand's philosophies when I came across a twenty-year-old article that reminds we are goal-oriented, don't like to wait out due process. So, sports acts as a substitute for those who need gratification, as the real world grinds it out slow and won't provide closure... https://ari.aynrand.org/issues/culture-and-society/culture-and-society-more/the-... "Misunderstandings about me"  |
| "I sat there for like a month and a half, waiting on the phone to ring. I just put my faith in God, having conversations with myself, talking to God like, 'What's the plan? What's going to happen?'" Rivers said. "All the feedback I kept getting is, a lot of teams liked me but they didn't know what type of character I was and how I'd be in their locker room. My basketball ability was never questioned; it was who I was as a person. Which is actually even worse. "Truthfully, it broke my heart. Because I know who I am, and I've always had good relationships with people, but you can have one instance with mistakes and be labeled something." |
| I was making small edits to recent poems in blog when I had a thought. I started to write it out and felt the initial expression was good but I couldn't take it anywhere just yet. So, I transcribe it here for posterity and possible future use: Trimming the nose hairs of these poems I blog, you can't overdo it, as experience of overgrowth has taught, but you can poke yourself in the nose and bleed? You see? 5.27.21 |
Before I took a long nap that started in late October, 2020 until whatever time I stirred from that hypersleep, the hot locale for my poetry links was here (Now decommissioned. On to bigger and better things, let's hope):
Of course, all of those links will send you to the hottest bed for poetry at my port, affirmed by the 2020 Quill Award for Best Poetry Collection here (Thanks again, Elle - on hiatus  , as always):
 Maybe, my next project will be to build a shelf? No, hire a carpenter. Okay, I'll get my swelled head out of here before it breaks this blog post and the internet. |
| I think if anyone cared to know me, they'd learn I'm my own harshest critic. I've had people respond to my reviews like they were stung sometimes, and I think 'you have no idea,' because I'm way worse with myself. I'll reread my old works, some that I'd fallen in love with rather than viewing their merit. I'd shake my head; I'd cringe. Sometimes, I see what I'd do differently. Other times, the trash can is more deserving. Unfortunately, I hold on to everything. But, in my defense, seldom reread the stinkers. I look at my old poetry and see the merits and a person developing as a writer. I have greater insight and knowledge as the greatest authority of what I'm trying to do, convey. Though, even I sometimes stump myself. I leave notes now on what inspired works. It helps me and readers see what perspective or aim I'm coming from/trying to achieve. It still surprises when I've reviewed someone that I gave great feedback and they respond defensively, or not at all. No one is trying to crush anyone's spirits. I think the reviewers who flatter and hand out fives like high-fives miss the point of helping other writers. Without honesty, a writer can become smug, stagnant. Writers might mail it in like it's another day as Hemingway. I've been there. Fortunately, I saw through the deceit of false flattery. And isn't that the true aim? Just keep people writing, participating and letting their average to below work thrive over the efforts of hard-working, honest writers who might show their disdain in ways that they wish they hadn't, instead of seeking a higher road. I'm not saying many here do this, but some predominately review lesser works with flattery, ignore good works because they fear approach or don't want to embrace writing that might shadow the others. It's the nature of writing on the internet. Someone said it's just different personal tastes. Yes, I've enjoyed greeting card poetry, but no one is looking for greeting card writers here either. No one is looking at this site period to find the next great writer. Just accept we're in a wasteland playing some kind of social game of how much cryto currency you can spread around to appease another. I fear the raffles, auctions and other events that require crypto this or that takes precedence over real writing. I fear the crowd that accumulates here on dabbles in crafting a few ditties and jumping onto the review boards to earn other recognition. I immersed myself in reviewing last year and got a Quill nom for it. I quit in October. I think some people who could self-improve have other motives that actual writing here and I realized I was wasting my time trying to be some kind of mover and shaker who was going to inspire others. So, I shut it down. I write a thing or two. My meds basically shut me down last year and still do. My love of anything is essentially dulled in the name of sanity. I start out writing something enlightening about my process as a poet and it spirals out here. I could blame myself for my feelings. I'm just disappointed is all. 5.18.21 |
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In the Falkland Islands, internet is very limited and very expensive. The place I'm currently staying only lets me use it in the middle of the night, so when I have to get up at 3 am to check my texts (no cell service to the US here unless I'm on the internet) or WdC, I don't do nearly as much as I used to. 
I currently have 2 very long emails I still need to get to from several days ago. Anyway, I miss everyone, but I also miss sleep, so there's that. 
Have you spoken to the doctor about your vision problems lately? I know there are special glasses for it because I have to wear them to read much ever since the brain injury. It's part of why I now only listen to audiobooks instead of reading regular books. It took 8 years for anyone to diagnose it because I have a brain injury and while one might think it would be obvious to me that I see double, it wasn't. Partly, my brain does a fair job of compensating. But also, partly, you use your brain to realize and understand that the 2 images you constantly see are double vision and something you should mention to your eye doctor. Since my brain was damaged, even basic things like that can escape me. 
I never once thought to mention it, even with annual eye exams in the Army and an exam every 2 years at the VA. Though, in my defense, since it happens in something like 41% of people with a brain injury, it should have been discovered by an eye doctor much sooner. 
I know doing that activity is a CRAP TON of work. But you made a difference in lives, not just his, but for all the people he's reviewed since. 
Well done! 
