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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books/item_id/1323465-No-Eggs-After-10am
Rated: ASR · Book · Cultural · #1323465
My thoughts, ideas and what I see as I criss-cross this nation of ours.
There are rules out here, too bad "road rules" was taken so i've made a list of things that help, and my thought, ideas and some of the stories that have happend to me or stories i've heard from others so sit back put your seat and tray table in the upright postion buckel up and hang on for the ride.
October 15, 2007 at 9:36pm
October 15, 2007 at 9:36pm
#541950
I awoke with a sudden jolt, like something or someone had hit me. My breath was heavy and my heart was beating a mile a minute. A cold sweat had creped upon my skin "was this the time," I ask myself. Surely not. How did the shadow find me here of all places.
I clamber to the drivers seat, I put my truck in gear I'll just have to out run it again. I see in my mirrors that frightful image. The shadow passes along the parked truck s . Truck to truck it chases me. "Always one step behind me aren't you?" I exclaim to the shadow. "Well you wont catch me today." I slam another gear and run up my rpm hoping to grab an empty lane to put the hammer down. I see from my mirrors I'm pulling away. I know if i miss a gear, the shadow will catch me soon enough. I hit the big hole.... now sixty, sixty-five, seventy, seventy-five. The roar of my pipes sing in the night air. The low humble tone of money rolling down the the highway.

I clear my mirrors and see nothing in sight. Two hours till day break and three to my destination. I can't believe how close it came to catching me this time. What if i hadn't woke up? What would the shadow of done with me? A truck fire, a drunk driver,someone missing a red light, or worse maybe I would of fell asleep behind the wheel. I have to keep outrunning the shadow of death for I know someday it will find me and I won't awake.

North bound I-85 is no joke, but i can't take the chance of slowing down. I notice through my right window the fleeting glimpse of his deathly image. How he caught up with me so fast, with a frightful jerk I push the accelerator to the floor. "How long has it been since I slept, I wondered to myself. I don't have time for that right now. I have to outrun this thing that haunts my dreams and stalks me at night. "IT'S NOT MY TIME," I scream at the image. I have so much i want to do still.....

I awoke with a sudden jolt like something or someone had hit me. My breath was heavy and my heart was beating a mile a minute. A cold sweat had creped upon my skin "was this the time..........
October 10, 2007 at 5:17pm
October 10, 2007 at 5:17pm
#540828
One would think that something as common as eating a hamburger and driving would be easy; however, I've noticed some drivers out here on the big road that don't seem to have it down. So here's the simple truth and fact on how to eat the Big Mac, Whopper, Baconnator, or your local favorite down at Mel's Diner while traveling. 1) DON'T DO IT...
unless, of course, you want to wear some of it. It just doesn't matter how you hold your hand or wrap the foil around that juicy delight. It will leak out and get on that $500 dollar suit or $20 tie. Now ladies, don't think I've left you out of this tasty bit of advice. It won't work if you hold the burger out the window. You loose half your stuff and might get a few extra morsels of meat (if you know what i mean).

Friends, fellow travelers, it really is simple. Just lay your fries on the dash. Don't get ketchup! Try ranch dressing for your dipping pleasure. Put the small container in the cup holder. Grab that old towel from the back seat you used a year ago when you left the window down and it rained. Lay it over your paints or dress.
Now that the pre-eating preparation is ready, grab the juicy burger with your right hand and give it a good shake over the bag it came in (not over your towel). That should lose most of the excess. Place the burger back in its wrapping and.... (here the most important part)

CUT THE DARN THING IN HALF.... Why on earth are you people trying to stuff a 1/4 pound of meat in your mouth at 70mph. Good grief! Then you reach for the fries, squeeze a little ketchup on them, then stuff that in your mouth. As if that isn't enough, you then answer the phone, comb your hair, stuff the other half of the burger in your mouth, honk your horn and cuss out the truck driver that just blew by ya. All because while doing all this you took your foot of the gas and you're now moving at 45mph.
September 29, 2007 at 9:43pm
September 29, 2007 at 9:43pm
#538610
OK it would seem that I've started this Blog with nothing but restroom humor, but really, in life your bed and bathroom are used more then any other room in the house.
So not to tell my age but I remember when cell phones came out.. not the big suitcase size that JR used on Dallas but the one's everyone could carry and afford.
****
I was out east some place and had to go, I stopped in a truck-stop ran in to find the restroom. I found a stall that was clean enough and sat for the mission on hand. I was reading the latest in toiletry literature, when I heard the guy in the stall next to me ask "hey, where you headed?". Now this is a bit strange I thought talking in the public restroom but people out east are a different breed so, "Cleveland" I replied. "When you gotta be there?" he asked.
Now I feel really weird, I mean I'm here to do my business not hold a conversation but mama taught me to be polite, "6am " I said.
"You going to make it on-time?" he asked. Come on fella, whats it with you anyway I think to my self. I don't want to be rude so I answered "yea its only a couple hours away I should be ok". Then all of a sudden, I hear him say "Hang on man, this guy next to me thinks i'm talking to him".. ...so please for the sake of us polite non rude people please leave the cell phone off while using the restroom. Because you just might get a conversation you don't want to have.
September 27, 2007 at 5:10pm
September 27, 2007 at 5:10pm
#538068
So this tale of tales starts after a long night across the great state of Texas..I was set to deliver in a small town in eastern Texas, since driving all night is'nt new to me, I was way ahead of schedule. Being an avid movie buff, I had just bought the "Star Wars Trilogy" and was set for an movie bonanza.
There I was in movie Jedi heaven.Having popcorn, ice tea, a full day of movie bliss. There was just one small problem. You see, I'm an over the road truck driver for my day job so I spent this precious time at a small rest area. The restroom was a bit of a walk from my 18 wheel movie theater.
Night had fallen, but the time had come, I could hold it no more. Off i went to see the wonderful world of public restrooms.
I ventured to the cleanest office space (if you will) for some important paperwork (well how would you put it?:) I suddenly noticed a well written note on the back of the door. It read, "if your looking for a good time, be here on september 10 at this 10pm". As I was thinking to my self, "wow what a strange way to meet that special someone " I glanced at my watch.
IT WAS SAME DATE and I had only 5 min to get the heck out of there!!!.
My memory is a little vague about the actions that took place next, so lets just say the assignment and paperwork was put into a rush.I was in a gotta get it done pinch it off mode.Ever fiber of my being was screaming for the door, as I rushed out the entrance and ran for my truck. I noticed a small car with their headlights on, as if waiting for someone. I thought to myself "man am I glad I had my watch on".

September 26, 2007 at 7:27pm
September 26, 2007 at 7:27pm
#537901
One of the most amazing things I see out here on the road are people just are'nt happy any more. I walked through down town Boston today and just said "hello"." Hi how are ya?" (with my southern draw) Most people had cell phones to their heads like mini 38 Specials. Some looked at me like I, was crazy, others just ignored me.. However; a few said hello back.. I think people have missed the human contact we once shared back when our parents talked about the good old days. If we lose that contact, where do we get the emotions we need to survive? Through email?. ha!. E-mail has killed the written word...How many love emails has anyone saved?...So maybe I made someone smile today by just saying hello to them...Maybe tomorrow you'll tell me hello...

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