%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 |  My life is a roller coaster ride, but there's beauty in the madness. |
|
Ink in Faded Hues My aspirations, triumphs, and failures. Life is a beautiful mess! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ~All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes, to make it possible.~ T.E. Lawrence ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This is me, for those of you who wondered! 
|
| Not cool. At what point to people fall under the warped delusion that this type of behavior is flattering? Do they honestly believe if they know every little thing about a person, or if they heckle, harass, or otherwise intimidate, that this will lead to some grandiose version of love? Respect? Adoration? Get a clue! I’ve been victimized by this type of behavior in the past. At seventeen, it was an ex who, after beating me and trying to run me over with his car, did not handle our break-up well. The incessant phone calls and death threats against me and my family prompted them to send me to stay with relatives in Cleveland for a month while they “sorted things out.” He decided it wasn’t worth the price he was going to pay. In my early twenties, it was, believe it or not, a police officer. He followed me home one night after my childhood friend and “brother” died in a car accident. I was walking and trying to clear my head downtown, about two blocks from where I lived at the time. He seemed concerned that I was out so late and saw me home safely. After that it was a five month bombardment of constant drive-bys, his squad car parked out front, unexpected “visits, just to check in.” He even went so far as to stop his car in the middle of the intersection one time in front of my then fiancé, toot his siren, roll down the window, and catcall. It wasn’t flattering. It was intimidating. Given the nature of who he was…what he was, it was downright terrifying. I’ve had two others since. Both complete psychopaths. Mara teases me, calling me a stalker magnet. We sometimes joke about them, but really it’s no laughing matter. It’s led to me being very tense, very closed off, extremely private, and in general very untrusting of other people and their intentions. It’s why I am “so hard to get close to.” Last night, watching Hell’s Kitchen, I cringed. I felt pity for a man who is notorious for making others cry. Do I adore Gordon? Yes. I respect his ethic, his talent, and his intelligent creativity. His food is to die for. Add to that the accent and good looks…and yes, I giggle like a school girl. He inspires me in many ways. However, I was floored last night when one of the contestants started to rattle off things even I didn’t know. Things I had no desire or need to know. It was disturbing to hear another man recite every fact of Ramsey's life, right down to the names and ages of his children, to the cars he drives.  Very scary. That kind of fixation with another person, a complete stranger to you, and their personal life is not healthy.Did he think he would flatter or impress? It was disturbing. *cues infamous Psycho music* Run, my dear Chef, run. I hope that man gets the help he needs. I hope eventually people, police, and society in general realizes that obsessive behavior and stalking really isn’t a laughing matter. It’s a serious issue and often has devastating consequences. I apologize for the mini-rant. It seems Hell’s Kitchen inspired in more ways than one. |
| Today is a beautiful day! I’m nothing but smiles and so grateful for the strong determined rays of sun poking through the blinds. One of these days I will escape out west and leave the dreary gloom of winter behind for good. Until then, I will savor days like this where the sun shines and chases away the gray. I made my word count, plus some, and I am really happy with how this story is turning out so far. Sometimes it is a little too overwhelming and I have to pull myself out for a few moments, but that’s to be expected with the territory. All in all, I’m savoring the experience. It’s been a long time since I felt completely immersed in my characters and their world. Even longer still since I felt the irresistible pull to race to my computer and write. My new mattress comes tomorrow and that means I get to shop for new bedding.  I’m having dinner with my mom and dad tonight. It will be the first real bit of time we’ve spent together since Christmas Eve. I think that’s a record. Things just have been hectic for all of us. Add to that the fact that I get to fawn and drool over my favorite chef tonight and…well…you have one happy woman!Here’s to love, laughter, and inspiration….may they all find their way into your life. |
I’m feeling all out of sorts today. My stomach hurts, I feel light-headed, and despite my best efforts, I haven’t been able to offer any helpful solutions to those in need. I hate to use a word like useless, but for now, that‘s me in a nutshell.  On the flip side. I only have 1100 words left to meet my goal this week … I think. Considering most of it was written between 10-3 this morning, it might be best to look that puppy over. I’m tired, crabby, and I need a nap. Nothing makes sense to me. Don’t you hate those days when you know you would have been better off had you never got out of bed? |
| I am so glad the weekend is over! Between the Superbowl, housework, and everything in between, I’m exhausted. This staying up all night thing has to stop. I’m getting too old for that. The good news is, my new mattress will be here Friday. I can’t wait! After sleeping on a leaky air mattress for three months, this deluxe pillow top will rock! No more worrying about the cats. The only drawback is, with it NOT being an airbed, it’s prone to more dust mites. *shudders* Okay. We aren’t even going to trek down that road. If you have no idea what dust mites are, do yourself a favor and don’t Google them. You’ll never feel comfortable again … ever, and you’ll itch for a week. I didn’t get much written. A whole whopping 25 words.  That puts me in a bad spot. To stay on track, I need around 3000 more before I go to bed Tuesday night. This may not seem like much. I am sure some of you write that in an hour, no problem. Unfortunately, I’m not that blessed. Part of my OCD seeps into my writing, making it impossible for me to move on to the next sentence if I am not 100% happy with what I just wrote. Beezus help me if I go back and read a project from the beginning before I finish it. Then, it ends up in the scrap pile. *le sigh* I really need to work on that. Seriously.::repeats to myself:: I will not be like Monk. I will not be like Monk. On that note, I’m off to clean the kitchen!  I hope everyone had an awesome weekend and that this week brings you all the creativity and inspiration you can manage!Best wishes, Adriana ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Stop by and join me in helping fellow writers excell!
|
| I’ve been running around the site like a madwoman all morning. Too bad this doesn’t burn any actual calories! It’s been a great morning though! I’d like to thank everyone who commented on the newsletter and sent me pressies! Now’s the time to admit I was as nervous as a drowning rat when it came to sending that thing. It was a first for me, and those are always intimidating times. There is still a lot of work to be done with the "Angel In-Depth Reviews"  before it’s ready to roll. I’m hoping to hear back from more of the selected authors on what they would like reviewed before the deadline closes in on me. More fear. I just want everything to run smooth, and truth be told, I’m terrified of letting anyone down. Perfect isn’t listed among my many traits. On the more personal side of things, I imploded last night. The bank decided to hold my tax return for a week. Some kind of federal regulation based on the amount. The bank said I had a balance of 5 grand. What they failed to mention, is this was not the available balance. Even though I clearly had money in their stupid little funds, they refused to process my bills and I ended up with a small fortune in overdraft fees. The money was in there!  What kind of cockaninnied scheme is that? I’m frustrated. Not just with the bank, but with myself as well. I said I wouldn’t do it, but I *gasp* made a resolution this year. Mara and I swore we would write a minimum of 4000 words a week. After staying up until almost 4 in the morning last Tuesday, I made it. By the skin of my teeth … and I paid for it. If I don’t start cracking down and focusing, this week will be worse. I need to be at 8417 when I wake up Wednesday. I’m at 5225. I won’t have much time tomorrow, as it’s the Superbowl and I will be busy cooking up a smorgasbord of food. I should be writing now, but I wanted to leave things off with a bit o’ humor. Did anyone see Hell’s Kitchen Thursday? This year’s contestants claim to be executive chefs, have 14 years experience, etc… One of them couldn’t even cook spaghetti noodles, one can’t tell the difference between sugar and salt (that risotto looked like stale oatmeal to boot!) and another asked how to peel carrots!  Peel carrots! Poor Chef!** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Stop by and join me in helping fellow writers excell!
|
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
You deserve it!
