%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 |
My journey to completing my first novel |
|
I've wanted to write for as long as I can remember. Penning my first story complete story when I was 10, a point horror and fear street fan I wrote about 4 girls at a boarding school getting haunted, stalked and killed. Then I grew up, sporadically wrote ideas and short stories, always letting life get in the way and not having time. Now, two kids later (now 4 & 2), I find I want and need something that is mine. I tried making jewellery, zentangle and even my cleaning and beauty stuff (the deodorant is something we don't talk about lol). I stopped writing because I thought I had no ideas, wasn't good enough (for what? who knows) and that everything has already been done (black panther shape shifter tick). A few meltdowns later I started writing for me, then I started getting ideas and wanted to pen them down and suddenly I had a grip on my sanity and was feeling a little bit happier and a lot less crabby. Now I have to work out what to do with my ideas, I start writing, procrastinate, worry and then move on without finishing anything. I tried snowflake method, the whole method is not for me but I really found writing the one sentence about the deep theme helped me to focus on what the story was about and not dwindle off in directions that have no point to the story. |
| Am feeling good today. Was browsing through my Kindle content and decided to be ruthless, I deleted all the pish (no matter if I paid for them), what a liberating experience. I feel refreshed, renewed and revived. The three R's I hope will impact my writing today. I also hit on a book I bought a couple of years ago - The Creative Writing Students Handbook by Cathie Hartigan & Margaret James. I don't think I ever got around to even looking at it before, I am excited about it reading it now. |
| Realised that the whole weekend has gone by without me writing a single word. Logged on this morning and have a mind blank, all ideas seem to have moved on and don't feel so fresh anymore. Think I will have to sit down, read some old ideas and then just start writing and not worry about it. It's a weird thing, I feel like my head is empty, there are no thoughts (I am sure there are actually thoughts lol, buried deep and just not registering consciously), a blank slate, that can only be a good thing right? If it is really blank, then you can write anything. Nothing in your head means no guilt about not following through, no guilt about not writing that story you have wanted to write for ages, but never made the time. You can write anything, nothing is jostling for your attention. An opportunity to try something different? Maybe. Now I have written myself into the excitement of 'I can write anything I want'. |
| Gods and Zombies. She is sitting in a boarded up corner shop, zombies surround her trying to get in. Making her way to the back of the store see's a small personal altar, a candle sitting surrounded by dried up petals. She recognises the small stature at the centre as Hecate the Greek Goddess. Thinking she is about to die she strikes a match from the box by the side of the candle and in a last ditch attempt prays to Hecate to save her. She feels a cool touch on her arm, hears a whispering disembodied voice. A zombie smashed through the small boarded up stock room window behind her, turning round to face it a blue flash of light streaks by her and hits the zombie. He collapses half in and half out in a ball of white fire, which burns out in seconds leaving a blackened corpse. She smells burnt zombie flesh yuck. She whispers 'Hecate' and a woman appears in front of her, looking very human in a plain white toga with a look of shock and confusion pasted across her face. WTF, she didn't believe in Gods or Goddess, but hell she hadn't believed in zombies until a few days ago. A crash from the front of the shop snapped her attention away from the woman, breaking glass and then a very loud groaning floated to her, they were in. She asks the woman if she use can do that again, it can't be a coincidence she appears after a zombie fries itself. She shakes her head, long black hair faling over her green eyes. No, I don't have the energy. Great, now she needed to save herself and the maybe Hecate Greek Goddess or impersonator. All the zombie noise was coming from the front now, the ones round the back must have got distracted and followed their fellow flesh eaters noise. Grimacing she gripped the charred remains of the zombie and pushed it back out the window. They were banging and pushing up against the stock room door, She peeked out the window, no Zombies about to eat them. She could see a lone Zombie down the end of the street, shuffling along, missing an arm and trailing a broken leg behind it. The door started the buckle inwards, the weight of the herd was going to break the door any second. The sound of snapping wood made me move faster, I grabbed the maybe goddess' arm and dragged her through the window. She dug her heels in the floor, the look of shock gone. Where am I and what is going on? She refused to go out the window, crossing her arms she started tapping her foot. I gestured towards the door just as the zombies crashed through, are they sick? Really lady, do they look well to you? A zombie reached for Hecate, trailing a line of blood up her arm, rotten teeth clacking together. She screamed and hurled herself through the window, the zombies close behind. I grabbed her arm and we ran. PS. I know it switches tenses but it's just an idea, a scene I saw in my head. |
| I can't believe I called my blog Mowing the Lawn, I have never mowed a lawn in my life. I think I'll try and rename it pretentious shite. After a 7 year hiatus from Writing and Writing.com I decided to write again and am back. I haven't read the posts on here yet. So yes, back writing, was having fun and then hit a stumbling block. I can't write, fear of failure (although I started writing for me), not being good enough and the blank page. Words flowed for a few weeks and then they halted. I waited for them to start again, they didn't. Sigh, why can't I write? That question has terrorised me for a couple of weeks. I can't write because I am not sitting down and even trying to write. Yay, problem solved. Not exactly. So here I am on Writing.com as I decided I wanted to be part of a community of writers, I always loved the vibe here way back and decided to reach out. I want to write. I like my ideas. I want to write a story, I want to tell a story, and maybe I do want to self publish. I have admitted it. Writing is not all about me. I want to put myself out there, why? Because it scares me. What if no-one likes it? What if they don't like me? Etc, etc, etc. Al that crap. Older and wiser (I hope), I started writing again because I was looking for a hobby, something that was mine, me time (I have two kids now and work full time, oh the joys). I tried jewellery making, making my own cleaning products and skin care (ugh, don't ask how that went, I made my own deodorant for a while too.....), I bought an engraver (I have never unpacked it) and I started zentangling, moved on to tangle art (that is very cool and I still dabble, gets the creative juices flowing and it's nice to look at something you made and feel a sense of achievement). I lost my train of thought. Oh yeah, so I am skint and decided I wanted a hobby I wouldn't be wasting money on. I had a notebook, I had a pen (sigh, I bought a new wee laptop, mine is big and clunky and I have to share!) and a laptop. Off I went, it went well, I loved it, I wrote and I wrote and all these ideas flowed and I realised I was struggling to tell my story from beginning, through middle, till end. I have all these scenes written from lots of different stories, I hit a wee bump and I would get another idea and move on, distracted by it and I haven't actually finished anything yet. I need help. I need focus. I am here. I had a grand plan to enter the New Writers Award, closing date 7 July. When I decided to enter it was April, I had a great short story idea. I started, I didn't finish, I moved on (rinse and repeat) and now it's end of June and I haven't got anything down. I have dusted myself off. I found a short Fiction Style Blog I wrote that actually isn't half bad. It needs a re-read and probably an edit and I am going to enter that. Queue, you write that years ago, you can't enter that, it's not you, it's not good enough, it's bullshit crap, you can't write, why are you even bothering,blah, blah, blah. I am going to enter it anyway. Well this has been great, must change the blog name though. Ohhh, look how many words I wrote :) PS. Just about had a panic attack, got an error message as my membership no longer up graded, clicked back to rectify and my blog post was gone. Managed to recover web page and post as I really didn't fancy trying to write my thoughts again, now they are written they are gone, I moved on. Can not believe how gutted I was, longest thing I have write for days. |
| I have an idea, kind of been festering for years but I could never get it right in my head so have not written it. Occurred to me that I was focusing on the wrong character as the main and I realised it was someone else that was screaming to be the centre of attention. Now I have a place to start, can't seem to get the words down though. Think I just need to knuckle down and start, guess it is kind of scary, this whole idea has been in the back of my mind for years, now I am too scared that I won't be able to write it well. |
| It's the weekend and I'm so excited. Have no idea why, no special plans, I am just really happy at the mo. A beautiful day today and everyone is cheery, Friday and the sun is shining, don't think it gets much better than this. I'm feeling great. Took me a while to get here, it was definitely worth the stress and hard work. Life really doesn't get much better. Being happy is an amzing experience, makes you realise how often you are unhappy without even realising it. |
| Candle flame flickers as the door shuts, the yellow light hurts my eyes and I feel them start to water. I stand still, tension making my shoulders ache. I wonder why I am here as I look around the group of robed figures standing before the altar. None turn my way as I step forward wearing my white robe, the colour of a novice. There are nine people standing in a circle, eight wear black robes and one wears a robe of deep red that seems to shimmer and move like rolling water. I take my place in the centre of the circle, the initiation begins. The others chant, a deep humming sound that vibrates through to my bones. Their voices are low and I can't make out the words, I think it is latin. I can not see their faces, the hoods of the robes are pulled low, only their clasped hands are visible. My heart hammers in my chest and I glance around hoping they can't hear the beating. The chanting stops and the red robed figure holds a knife against their forearm, I know that this person is the Master. I feel nauseous at the thought of what is to come. I watch as the light glints off the blade, in one quick motion the Master cuts a line down their forearm and blood spills out. Quickly the Masters apprentice who stands on the right holds a goblet underneath the flowing blood. The chanting has stopped and silence fills the room. |
| My eyes are heavy and starting to sting, my head is screaming for me to sleep. It's far too early though, go to bed now and I'll be up at 2am, that wouldn't be good. The gym was great, I really enjoyed it. Can't believe that I burnt (so the new fangled computer system says) 797 calories doing body attack last night, thinks that why I's so tired. Looking forward to watching the freaks go into Big Brother tonight, I usually watch them go in then lose interest. I don't get the people that watch it 24/7, even when the housemates are sleeping, do these people not work? I have my crisps and a bottle of pear cider (apparently this is quite nice) ready and am just gonna try and stay awake through it, should really check what time it starts. Works good, I'm gonna have a hectic 5 weeks coming up, gonna be a struggle and take lots of planning as some people are on holiday. Looking forward to my week off at end of July, only driving up to my Mums, it will be nice to get away though, not had a week off all year. |
| I got some great advice about my blog, so will be sticking at it and see where it goes. I figure I'll start with the weather, you can't go wrong with the weather, especially when it comes to small talk with strangers, although you do tend to find that they are the people you wander away from as soon as you get the chance, so maybe not the weather. Writing, yes that is a great idea. I am a little stuck on a short story I started writing, the beginning and middle just poured out onto the page, the end though is a different matter. I just can't see the end, I really don't know what happens. So instead of beating my head against a brick wall, another idea popped into my head so I started writing that. I seem to only be writing very short pieces at the moment, thats ok though at least I am writing and finishing them. It's a very good feeling. |
| I was wondering why I struggle to keep this blog, I love writing and can sit and pen a thousand words, enjoying writing every one of them. When it comes to the blog I stare at a blank screen and can't think of a single thing to say. I always think to myself, OK write something witty, be funny. I am just not funny so already I am going against my own grain. I realised this morning I just don't get blogs, why oh why do I want to put up personal details on the web for everyone to see. You read some of the stuff on these blog sites and people are moaning about their job, their boss (who they name), they talk about their families, their boy/girlfriends and you just know at some point it will come back to bite you in the arse. I mean it is just venting and everyone has the right to vent and afterwards you probably realise that you don't even mean half the things you wrote, but once it's out there for the whole wide to see it becomes something bigger and less forgiveable. There are some blogs that are witty, people speaking their opinions about the latest craze etc, my favourite recently was the blogs about alli the new slimming pill in the UK. I'll let you google it as peoples interpretations had me in fits of laughter. I guess I am uncomfortable writing a blog, I saw it as writing for someone else, completely hung up on the fact that people will read it. I had this whole 'thing' in my head about a blog and what it should be and I am just not like 'that'. I think my blogging days are over, well they never really started, I just don't get 'the blog'. |
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
