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My thoughts released; a mind set free |
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These pages contain my thoughts, from meandering ideas and persuasions to deep cerebrations and serious mentations. Why, for what purpose? To release my mind and set creativity free. Somewhere inside the constraints of my mind dwells a writer, a poet, an artist who paints with words. In here I release those constraints and set the artist free. Perhaps, lost somewhere in the depths of thought, is a story or a poem, waiting to be written. 
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| A comment on one of my blog entries brought something to mind that I decided I wanted to write a bit about. Back in the 90's I took a bad fall down some stairs and ended up in the hospital for a few weeks. I had injured my lower spine, had some paralysis in my legs, and uncontrollable muscle spams through my lower back. There was a couple f cracked vertebrae, a shattered tailbone, and two broken ribs, as well as some internal bruising of my kidneys. Two weeks of treatment and I was able to leave the hospital in a half body brace and a wheelchair. After a month I started physical therapy and started getting some feeling and use of my legs, and after four months was able to walk with a cane. I saw a couple different surgeons and was faced with a big decision, do the surgery or not. I opted to not, to wait and try and overcome my injury. After a year I was walking and able to work again, but would suffer bouts of muscle spasms, back pain, and loss of feeling in my one foot or the other, sometimes both. Again, I was told that surgery was the best choice, but I did not like the odds of ending up worse instead of better. I also didn't agree with what they all claimed was the problem. Why? Because the injury should have been consistent, it should have been affected by lifting and various activities, and it shouldn't just go away and return for no apparent reason. Yet, I was now working in a sawmill and doing pretty much everything I had done before. I would have my back problems, but there was nothing that seemed to trigger them, and none of the specialists could explain why. The solution they wanted was to fuse three vertebrae in my lower back; that was the only thing that remained constant. After we moved here, things were going great, I hadn't had much for back problems for quite some time, and then it surfaced. I could barely walk, I was having severe back spasms, and I had lost feeling in my lower right leg. I had no choice but to see the doctor, again. Being in a new healthcare system, I had my medical records forwarded to the clinic and went in, expecting to hear the same old routine. But, this Nurse-Practitioner questioned the records, asking the same questions I had been asking. She ordered x-rays and seen the sideways bend in my lower spine, but needed an MRI to show any soft-tissue damage. In order for my insurance to pay for this, however, they required me to go to physical therapy first. Instead, my doctor wanted me to see the clinic chiropractor and work with her about the therapy. I set up an appointment and wasn't expecting much, but after the first hour session she was determined that the spine was in fact not the cause of the problem, my pelvis was. She showed me the x-ray images, measured the length of both legs, did a lot of poking and deep prodding, and confirmed that she did not think my spine was the problem, it was a result of my pelvis being tilted about an inch high on the left than on the right. She put me on the table and worked her magic. Once the muscles were relaxed, she did an adjustment and there was a loud popping sound and instantly I had feeling back in my foot, the spasms stopped, and when I sat up, I was straight instead of bent. Of course, it went right back out by the following day, but I had appointments set for Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for the first two weeks. I went one day before my pelvis tilted again, then two days, and eventually I was going once a week, once every two weeks, and then once a month and then once every two months. My pelvis had been tilted, as shown in the x-rays since the mid 90's and now, finally eighteen years later, someone discovered what was actually wrong and was trying to fix it. My back still gives me some problems, but nothing as severe as in the past, and I try and have it adjusted or checked to make sure it's in place every couple months. I had never had much faith in chiropractors in the past. But now? Now I'm glad I had to go see this one. This woman fixed what I was told only surgery could help. Yes, surgery would help if all went well, but it would never be right, I would lose quite a bit of mobility, and there was always the chance that it could also be worse. Now I've learned that had I had the vertebrae fused and the pelvis slipped out, the lower back would not have been able to flex to accommodate, instead vertebrae higher up my back would have to bend instead, moving the problem up my spine, and possibly even causing more paralysis. |
| Just sharing some thoughts, yes, actual thoughts, not my usual malarkey and gobbledygook. Our winter has been uncommon and February is more like early spring than winter. What little snow we did get is pretty well all melted, and it's difficult to think we could still get a lot of snow. With the mild weather, my wife and I have been taking the two dogs out hiking, getting some exercise and enjoying the springlike days. Of course, being out of shape, I've started slow and easy, and am working my way up to more, but with our last hike we completed a five mile loop with a mile side track because the signs were down. Yeah, I over did it, but actually wasn't as stiff and sore as I thought I would be today. With challenging trails, it was very difficult, but the worst part is the mud. Uneven terrain, hills, rocks, and mud make for an easy misstep, slipping, and even a twisted ankle. The ankle has been a pain for the last year or thereabouts, with no idea why it's always sore. I don't know of any injury I may have inflicted, and it seems better if I go barefoot than if I wear shoes, boots, or even my slippers. It hurts worse today after the taxing hike and twisting it yesterday, yet there's no swelling or discoloration. I'm thinking I should make a visit to my doctor and get the lowdown on what's up with the ankle, so I can get it healed up for more hiking as we move further into spring. But, since she's laid off, we are temporarily without insurance. She starts a new job next week, and there is insurance pending from her layoff, but we all know how slow bureaucracy moves. Hopefully I'll be able to set up an appointment before the end o fthe month. In the meantime, I have an ankle brace to use so we can still get some hiking in as long as the weather continues to pamper us. |
| In a recent comment I was reminded of what other people sometimes say without knowledge of the person they talk about. This was what I was facing many years ago. I quit high school after a bad, almost fatal accident. But, once I began to heal and had time to think, I decided that I would go back to school and finish. The situation was, however, I couldn't return to my hometown school because of the problems that lead me to quit in the first place. Back in those days, there was no open enrollment, so this created a problem. The solution was, I would stay with family friends in a small community who's school was willing to over look the resident situation. Changing schools in high school is tough, and to finish, I needed to be tougher. So, with an attitude adapted from my Dad, I handled the problems and completed high school. What was the attitude, and phrase my Dad used? "I don't give a rats ass what they think!" This type of an attitude soon resulted in many people talking about me, except for a few friends who actually knew me. Why didn't I try and change other peoples attitudes towards me? Because, for one, I was very introverted, and two, it meant most people just left me alone. After high school, I served some time in the military. Upon my discharge, I returned to the small town I had finished high school in only because my wife of the time insisted we live there. After time passed, we divorced, but since I had three teenagers I was now raising that had only attended the local school, I stayed for them. But, as the years passed, more and more of my fellow townspeople seemed to adopt an idea of me being anti social (introverts are), of having a temper (I do, and I do not like people infringing where they are not welcome), and being ruthless. This stemmed from certain individuals that thought they could bully me and/or my kids. There were even a few who didn't like how I lived and would start a fight. Let's just say that I don't like violence, but if someone starts something, I don't back down, either. I also will make a stand for what I believe in, even if it does result in someone else taking a pop at me. My Mom did try and teach me the "turn the other cheek" rule, but I never seemed to master that one. Being this way meant my share of fights, and being as stubborn as I am, it also meant that I may take a beating, but the other took worse. This, in time, resulted in most of the town believing I was someone best left to self, an idea I fully enjoyed and ensured would stick. Except for a few people I called friends, no body realized, or maybe refused to believe, I had a kind heart and was in fact just the opposite of the what was rumored. |
| Today my wife and I took the two dogs for a road trip to Lake Carlos State Park (not named after Carlos Santana). We wanted to check out the park and the camping sites for a family camping adventure in August. We are planning a family camping trip for my wife and I, as well as our children and grandchildren. Lake Carlos is about as centrally located as we can find for those who have to drive the furthest and set up for both electric sites and tent sites. We want an electric site, and two other families have campers, so will need electric, the rest will be tenting it. We found a nice area that will accommodate everyone close to the public showers and bathrooms, all six sites are in one semi-private area on the far end of the loop, and there is ample room for children and pets. Now, it's just a matter of getting an approximate head count, figuring out which days will work best for everyone, and reserving the sites. Hopefully everything will work smoothly and everyone will be able to camp together for at least part of the five or six days we are reserving the sites for. |
I was doing some reviews and came across a poem, "Happy Father's Day"  by Prosperous Snow celebrating   that brought back a memory from my youth.I was in high school and had a terrible accident that lead to more problems and eventually I quit school. After a few months, I did return, but I went to a different school and stayed with a friend. His uncle, Jasper, was a true to life mountain man who had recently returned home because of some health issues. He had lived ten years in the Rocky Mountains as a mountain man. My friend and I, being teenagers, liked to go camping, but our camping trips consisted of some hotdogs, a 12 pack of beer, and staying out overnight a short distance from his house. Jasper showed us what real camping was all about. He would help us load up necessities in our packs and we would pick a general direction to start hiking. The necessities included some fishing line and hooks, his old flintlock riffle, lead balls and powder, flint and steel, water purifying tablets, three tin cups, a one quart kettle, our bedrolls (a heavy wool blanket we would roll into. He refused our sleeping bags, they didn't insulate if wet and took too long to dry out), and a change of cloths. Oh, and our canteens. We would gather water when we came across a river or stream, we fished for our meals, and if needed, he would shoot a squirrel or rabbit. On a few occasions we would have partridge if he could shot one on the ground or roosting, since anything other than a head-shot wouldn't leave much to eat. We slept on the ground in the open, under the stars, unless it was raining or looked like rain, then we would help him build a small shelter from pine boughs and branches. We never slept in the same spot, but would hike further each day. He insisted on everything being cleaned up and restored before we broke camp, and we often stayed out at least a week. Some days we didn't have much to eat, but he knew what we could pick and eat, how to find edible mushrooms, and even said we could eat various insects if we got hungry (this was more on the line of a threat if we complained). Being a kid, I did not pay attention to a lot of what he showed us, something I regret now. But, I still hold my love for camping, the more remote the better. "Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." T.J. |
| Today started with a lot of time to do what ever I decided I'd like to do, which was a lot of nothing, except spend time in here, since I'm still kind of tired from our road trip Wednesday; it was about a four hour drive over to my stepdaughters. One of her children, my granddaughter, was visiting from Montana. Because of certain events with the father, she was lost to adoption as a baby, so my wife and I had never met her. She is a charming young lady, kind of quiet, but very nice. We had a wonderful visit, stayed for homemade pizza, but then had to get going for the drive back around eight. It started out well, the weather was very warm all day and into the evening, but shortly after we left, fog rolled in. It was spotty at first, but soon became very dense. We should have had about three hours left to our return trip, but it ended up taking about five. Of course I was tense driving in near zero visibility, as well as straining to see through the grayness that enveloped us. But, we didn't have any issues or problems. Instead of lounging about in here and reading, as I had planned, we ended up having to drive over to another town to do some shopping. Shortly after we returned, we had company show up and spend the afternoon. After they left, I had to get busy cooking chicken on the pellet smoker for dinner, and now, finally, I have a bit of time to spend here. The company today was a surprise; completely unexpected! Last spring our two adopted daughters decided they didn't want to live with us anymore, or even have anything to do with us. The oldest one stopped by today to apologize. A very sincere, with lots of tears, apology. She didn't ask for anything, and confessed that she had expected us to turn her away after all she and her sister had put us through. It's another entry for tomorrow perhaps. |
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