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Wednesday, May. 8, 2024

12:50am EDT

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Inner Workings of the Machine

by Storm Machine

Rated: 18+ · Book · Other · #1946560

When one blog is filled, another one must open.

Coming soon: more work from someone creative, ambitious, and determined - often called a variant of insane/crazy.

Notes: Genderfluid. Preferred pronouns (they/them)

[& denotes married couples]
Immediate Family: soon-to-be-ex-Dilbert, Tempest, Dogbert

My Extended Family: (s)Dad, cousins (K, D, G, J, F, N) I guess it's good to be on speaking terms with someone. Voluntarily. AuntS
Dilbert's Extended Family: SIL (+5 kids)& BIL, FIL's gf (only for holidays, mostly)
Important People I Don't See Enough: Owl + Partner, Paradise ICON crew (which owl is a part of)
People I've Known a Long Time/Long Distance: Doc & [husband], Sheer & DocSheer, Mrs. Light & [husband], Trillium & Diego (not married but close enough), Steph
Local People: MotherDroid, Owl&Partner ... There are about to be new people on this list, because, well, I'm evolving. And it hurts.

DnD: used letters, S (DM), D(doctor), Y(because I like him!), K(old RPGer friend who also attends church), P(church guy who does game night and is local and our families are also friends), A (went to church but moved back to Chicago, moved back locally then i moved)
Tempest's friends: I don't know very many of her local friends. She's got an internet buddy who also talks to CousinK's younger daughter. the younger daughter is DRAMA.
Dogbert's friends: Has a new group of friends based on a Pokemon thing and they have a DnD club at school and outside of school. Lucky kid!

Show Recent Comments

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

Brandiwyn🎶

Jan 26, 2024 at 10:14am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

It occurs to me that while at first glance, his reactions seem supportive, some of it may be financially motivated on his end. Shared parenting and you getting an engineering job would both impact the state's child support calculations.

Storm Machine

Jan 24, 2024 at 2:11pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

He had actually mentioned that specifically.

Brandiwyn🎶

Jan 24, 2024 at 11:06am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Did you ask the attorney about the inheritance? Assets are assets.

Also: *hugs*.

Storm Machine

Jan 21, 2024 at 12:16pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

It's part of a business - we could split the yearly maintenance fees and each get a week vacation every year. I'm thinking about it, like so many other things.

He said today he doesn't want to tell the kids until after my daughter's finals week. She already knows, but OK.

Kåre Enga in Montana

Jan 21, 2024 at 1:27am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Sometimes when the decision is finally made the 'fighting' ends. You both know that the path forward isn't trod by looking behind. Therapy will help with that.

Can the vacation property be lived in year-round? (Me, be nosy... no response expected. My cousins' summer-shanty would have had to be winterized.)

Kåre Enga in Montana

Jan 17, 2024 at 2:45am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Priorities... The 'house' isn't #1 imho. Leaving should be #1. Finding a place that's suitable is fine; be prepared to make sacrifices. A 2 bedroom may work. Keep the price within the means of what the new job offers.

Lawyer... kudos for doing that. Let the lawyer deal with any legal aspects.

Counseling! Again, kudos, it may or may not be fixable but that will become clearer over time.

The noodles... you may be over-reacting. But that's what counseling is for. The underlying issues need to be found and dealt with.

I hope this works for you. Relationships are precious, even when they need to be redefined, even when they need to end.

And remember... unsolicited advice sometimes stinks. That's why we have garbage bins.

1 Like

Storm Machine

Dec 24, 2023 at 5:44pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Time by volume instead of length: A full day versus a long day.

We all have those encumbrances of relationships we drag with us. Or, maybe not all of us. But I'm tired of it.

1 Like

Kåre Enga in Montana

Dec 22, 2023 at 9:52pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Time by volume... like filling up a balloon or a room or... I dunno. My morning routine was about 1 meter squared... cut in half. How many squares can I stack in a day? What's the size of my room/body/life I inhabit?

I'm filling up my time dog paddling through this experience in Thailand. I figure that swimming is better than drowning. Been there before.

My relationship... is rocky at the moment. Nice 1 minute snuggle this morning; but frankly, I want more. Regardless of his issues... I could use a therapist to help me deal with mine.

My back is doing somewhat better with daily exercise (or exorcise as I call it). I don't take good care of myself when I'm alone. I shouldn't be alone.

My chiropractor friend told me a long time ago (over 20 years) that one of my issues was my mother. She used Bio-Energetic Synchronization Technique (B.E.S.T.) if I remember right. When my mother died last year at age 99 I felt a weight lifting. I was 'free'. Mind you, she'd become a sweet old lady; but, my inner child still remembered the Before Times. I find it sad in retrospect.

1 Like

Kåre Enga in Montana

Nov 21, 2023 at 11:13am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I think I have to thank May, Michigan and Keith. T'was 1999 and I became a poet. My Muse broke out of its chains. Come to think of it... it was a crossroads.

I don't market. Could I? Should I... *shudder*. I'm fortunate to get out of bed everyday. There were times in the past when that wasn't guaranteed.

80k is impressive. I have focused on blogs this November but even that's just 14k.

I think you're right about creating and sharing. Focusing on the process will get results... in time.

Kåre Enga in Montana

Oct 29, 2023 at 12:23pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Tech... can't live without it these days. Drives me nutters at times.

Marketing? I'm fortunate to just stay semi-happy-awake-functioning-whatever.

Very stressful week.

1 Like

May 26, 2017 at 5:05pm

#911794

Epiphany: Fight Club

In some ways I'm fighting myself in class - even if it is just the image of this small girl who can't cause an issue to someone who is strong, powerful, and knowledgeable. The internal views are not lining up, but I'm working on it.

I'm more bruised this week- it's the third week in a row I've brought home bruises. I'm also called insane because I don't just try to hit once or twice with the padded combat weapon (the source of bruising for two of those three weeks) - but I keep swinging. Sometimes I connect and sometimes I don't. but I don't stop. Half of them wear shirts for Kali saying "always my turn" so i don't understand how this is foreign to them.

I'm also searching for a way around this trigger that makes alarm bells go off in my brain. And I know I'm going to manage - I got ideas from my therapist and my friend the yoga therapist. So i'll be implementing that as much as I can. I don't want these things to trigger and I don't want to be still suffering from things that happened that I don't properly recall and that shouldn't ever happen again.

Trauma sucks, but at some point you have to move beyond it. That there are stages to getting beyond it, and it takes years.

Therapist's words keep coming back to me about how you have the problems that you own. So I refuse to own this label of being a victim. Because I am not a victim. I don't have to be, no matter what happens.

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