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 |  blog of a person who seems to be invisible... |
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ok.. so I'm taking a next step in my life. I'm improving on myself. I'm going down this path i am on, thanks to God. I now attend a church regularly, and I like its small confines in a church building i attended nearly 40 years ago. To me it is surreal. Do i know whats ahead, or even where I am going? no, not at all. to be honest it scares me, but I need to step out of my fear and take charge of my life, and live it the way I and God want me to be. where ever this path goes, I'm sticking it out to the end. I feel it is a testament to who I am. I am learning more and more everyday about myself. and improving, also trying to make amends for past mistakes. But one can only make amends for mistakes where there was mistakes to begin with, if people don't want to listen then that is their fault, and their loss. I wont go where im not wanted and I know I am a good man, if you don't.. well that's too bad so sad for you... |
| DAY 2306 March 13, 2019 Luc Sante said, " It is fascinating and often fruitful to try on another skin, but it is ultimately meaningless if one hasn't acknowledged one's own.." What do you think? Do you agree with him? many people who know me would say that it is no real big surprise to see or hear that I agree with this. However, just agreeing isn't enough with this, I feel it could be said another way. you can't judge a man until you have walked a mile in his moccasins. I think that this is a better way of stating the same thing. If more people would know themselves better before trying or even attempting to try, to know others the world would be a better place no doubt. I also feel that some of the wise guy comments I get would be significantly less if they would follow this simple saying. Well, these are my thoughts, not yours... enjoy! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** God bless, David ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| well this week has been a rough one for me. in fact it really pushed the limits on Feb 14 Valentines day. What happened? Well I had an accident with my car. I dropped a friend off at the airport so she can go and visit her boyfriend up north. I was on my way to work, via the interstate. the road was empty and I was going at speed limit, and radio on. a car came out of nowhere and hit me in the drivers side read quarter panel. I bounced off of his car and the car turned sideways. allowing him to hit me again on my drivers side door. Of course that sent me into a spin, well actually 3 spins, while traveling at 65 to 75 mph. I was scared. he went another 500 yard before careening off the road and stopping . all of this was in the darkness in Florida at 430 am. my car rolled off the road, I got out. someone from the other car wandered up and asked me if i was OK. I was, of course, and so was he. he told me he was a passenger in the car with his kids, and that the driver jumped out of the car when it stopped and jumped the fence at the side of the interstate and ran off. "great," I said,"I'll tell the cops when they get here." the gentleman said he had to go check on his kids. I told him OK. when the cops got there they found no one there by his car, and that the car was stolen. Now I come to find out my car is totaled, Ill get my car taken care of but will have to go buy another car. I looked at the car in the day time and was amazed, the damage was right at the gas tank, I could have, and should have been dead... I am lucky. but very frustrated. |
| “People tend to complicate their own lives as if living weren't already complicated enough.” Carlos Ruiz Zafón, author of The Shadow of the Wind What are your thoughts about his quote? Do you make your own life more complicated than it needs to be? Do you know other people that do? I believe that we as humans really hate when things go too easy or without any complications mainly because if there weren't any complications things would get too mundane and boring. without this action, our minds tend to get bored and complacent to an easier life that no one really wants. I know I do make my life more complicated as hell. there is no doubt that I do. Sometimes it gets me in trouble when somebody does something like that at the same time and wins out. why I do it? I really, honestly don't know, maybe it's the reason I stated earlier. do other people know I do this... I would honestly say yes they do. some actually reveal in it. In fact, some peoples lives can't go on day to day with it. which in my mind is very sad, but it is reality and it is what it is. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| ok, I'm sorry I didn't come on sooner, nor as much as I wanted to... I was in the er last night for a gout attack, the last gift my grandfather ever gave me. and I am only on now because I took the day off of work to recuperate. its been a hell of a few days. my curse has been kicked up to full blast and yes the suffering for the past is in full bloom. there are those that would revel in that fact... to them I say go ahead enjoy my suffering, it won't last forever and I am better for it. I am better without someone around me who lies and deceives people like me or those who run at the first sign of trouble. so go ahead enjoy it now, the seasons are changing. I am better than you even deserve(yes this person knows I'm talking to them, and I don't care. After all they don't have the cajones to tell me anything themselves rather have a lap dog do it for them.) yes, I am in pain and on crutches right now. taking the day off for pain, but I'll be back at it tomorrow full bore. But for now I am on to new projects and new things, after all its trash day and I had to take the broken, useless smelly old trash to the street. Overall it's good better believe that. |
| well, here I am in a hotel room for a working conductor recertification class and am totally alone here. Lately, its been hard for me to keep my head up, I have lost so much these two years I have lost everything that meant something to me. It is a chance to rebuild my life, I get it, but I feel so lost sometimes, like today. It seems I trusted people, and it seems not to be a good thing to trust people. I have to rethink everything all my trust and caring I gave to people. I am so dammed upset that it trusted someone and they stabbed me in the back. Now I'm so hurt I don't know which way to turn. who to trust, I walked away from everything I know, I took the risk and lost everything. I will go on, no doubt I will. it would be nice to find someone to trust and not use me, hurt me, lie to me, but I don't think that is in the cards, every time I find someone to trust, I get hurt again and again. I know some of it was my fault. I made huge mistakes, I helped someone and fell for her, and she used me and then tossed me out like yesterdays trash. then found someone else and became a totally different person than the woman I knew and says she hates me, when all I did was, do the best I could in a bad situation. maybe I should have let her fail and fall apart and not spent all that time helping her emotionally and otherwise. Maybe I have learned my lesson. |
| today... is another day in my life... I am hopeful that things work out for me, but sadly I am not that confident in fate, or luck, or what ever you wish to call it these days because I have lost that ability too. I know for me things don't last... people always fail me, and although I am there for them, they are rarely ever there for me. but hey that's life at least for me, anyway. So I know I can only depend on me and only me, no one can meet my high levels I desire, nor do they really wish to try, and that is just fine with me. If I let no one in then no one can disappoint me. At one time I had faith in a person, and in people, but, in reality, that's a pipe dream always was always will be. The only voice that matters to me is my own, and no one else's. I am me, and no one speaks for me but me.. I am starting expository writing classes but am behind. Not sure if i am cut out for that part yet, but I am trying... I have faith in myself...that is all I need and that's good enough and safe enough for me. I am worth it, you( and you know who you are) are not, it took me a while to figure it out but it is the truth. So this brings about the question... What can I do today? |
| prompt:Use these words in your entry today: form, laugh, hypnotic, smell, bray, country, bean and store. Have fun! it is in this form I laugh,and bray A hypnotic gesture which causes me to giggle nd bray. I sit here very still in this small country store, where the smell of fresh baked cookies lingers. Waiting and waiting still leaning against a pole like a bean waiting for the one that would be my queen. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** God bless, David ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| DAY 2230: December 27, 2018 Prompt: This is the last Thursday in 2018. Write a gratitude list, at least five items, of things you are thankful for this year. Well, there are many things I should be thankful for and many things I shouldn't. I am thankful for everything that has happened to me this year, as it has made me a better person, man, than I have ever been before. I am very happy now. I am seeing a new person, and we have been together for about 5 months as of December 13th, so I guess it is almost 6 months. I wouldn't have traded her for anything in God's green earth. I am tired of ALL the zero's,0's, that have been in my life.... time for me to have a hero. I have a good job, that pays me well and allows me to be me. I have real friends, now, not the kind that runs out when things get a little rough, or if they don't get things their way. they were never friends, just children in disguise, I guess. I'm grateful for my mom being there when I needed her as she was one of the people I could turn to when I needed her. I'm glad for being on this side of the grass, and not pushing up the daisies. I am glad for my health... I am glad that my God has let me see another sunrise and sunset. I am glad for yesterday because it is the past, tomorrow may never come but today is a gift, that is why it is called the present. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| Prompt: I am looking forward to November, because... Give us as many reasons as you want about why you are looking forward to November. well, there are quite a few reasons to look forward to November, at least for me. The cooler weather we are supposed to have( you noticed I said was supposed to have!! hint), its one month closer to my favorite time of year, Christmas. its getting close to the new year, which brings a lot of good things in the future for me, I have had a very very rough year, I have lost a lot that meant the world to me... I like the fall season itself, not Thanksgiving in and of itself, but the fall season altogether. I really look forward to that completely. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| DAY 1999: May 7, 2018 Prompt: "Your intuition knows what to write, so get out of the way." —Ray Bradbury What are you're thoughts on Mr. Bradbury's advice? Sometimes when dealing with writers' block, I find this advice to be extremely true, actually most times. A lot of writers are not aware that writers' block is mostly a block of your own mind trying to put something down on paper. And the best way to deal with this is to simply "get out of the way." however, in reality, this is a harder thing to do than most know. The saying that "you are your biggest critic" kind of fits in here, however, I feel that you have to add this to it "And your biggest stoppage as well" as this makes the statement completely true, under all circumstances. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
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I don't think I've ever drank so much water in my whole life. Make sure you're staying hydrated and safe out there!
