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 |  blog of a person who seems to be invisible... |
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ok.. so I'm taking a next step in my life. I'm improving on myself. I'm going down this path i am on, thanks to God. I now attend a church regularly, and I like its small confines in a church building i attended nearly 40 years ago. To me it is surreal. Do i know whats ahead, or even where I am going? no, not at all. to be honest it scares me, but I need to step out of my fear and take charge of my life, and live it the way I and God want me to be. where ever this path goes, I'm sticking it out to the end. I feel it is a testament to who I am. I am learning more and more everyday about myself. and improving, also trying to make amends for past mistakes. But one can only make amends for mistakes where there was mistakes to begin with, if people don't want to listen then that is their fault, and their loss. I wont go where im not wanted and I know I am a good man, if you don't.. well that's too bad so sad for you... |
| DAY 1573 March 7, 2017 Please wait for Neva to post *Stop* before you post your response. Prompt: Let's talk about vestigial parts. If you could remove some parts of yourself and leave them behind, which parts would you detach? Emotions, body parts or pieces of your history? I think i would remove my heart, as it seems to get me into more trouble than the organ is really worth. I have been told that I have a big heart, sometimes too big. in that, I give too much of myself to someone who truly needs it, regardless to how it leaves me. Normally a good thing, but not in my case. Then if I like the person and fall for that person, I fall so hard, and give so much of myself to that relationship, that I loose myself and what I need to do for that relationship, and without someone who is strong enough to kick me in the butt to wake me up, I will forget to do it, which forces the person to leave and that breaks my heart and spirit. I will not mention names but that very thing happened recently and I still feel pain from it, and am working to rid myself of those feelings, but because of who i am and my heart, they don't go away. thus ruining everything in my life after that, but i am fighting to get me back. and it is proving to be harder than I thought. but little by little i am doing it, and a piece of the man i used to be dies. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| DAY 1567: March 1 Prompt: March is Women's History Month. Write a tribute to a woman you consider a "trailblazer". Tell us why you consider this woman to be a trailblazer. not surprising to those who know me, I have chosen the woman trail blazer of Lucy Brewer. I know not very many of you have heard of her, some may but most will not. Back in the year of 1812, she broke all sorts of barriers by become the worlds first woman marine, and thus being the baddest woman in the world in my book. I think this woman has really started some form of equality between the sexes in the world.I think she really was a pace setter, and leader in many ways for the women's movement which really started later. but if you really wanted to know one of the main pace setters in the woman's movement I would think one of the baddest women in the world is the best place to start. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| a bit of knowledge i consodered "Before telling someone your opinion, consider whether they’ll be able to accept it." |
| right now I am holding a masonic coin that belonged to my grandfather. It fills me with hope and happiness for the future. I miss my grandfather. he showed me so much I cant even comprehend what he showed me all of my life. I just went and taught a masonic class today. i had a great time doing and I know it was him that was by my siie the whl,e time |
| DAY 1554 February 16, 2017 Let's turn on those creative juices and create something with these words: gray smart thaw bow jelly window As the day starts, it is a definate shade of grey, But I did not allow it to ruin my day, I had breakfast, which is a great place to start, I quickly put away the jelly, before I got yelled at by aunt Nelly, sitting by the window, making cookies like she was in a demo. While across the room I sat, thawing my the heat, Although I was taken out of the freezer like some me, wrapped in a bow, from head to toe. |
| I love the group called pentatonix https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6C2N2t4NXE |
| Well..i just read a nice letter from one of the greatest person i have ever known...although i acted like a child , and rightfully deserved what i got(and dont expect forgiveness ever). I also heard about her thinking about leaving the site, I was appalled at it. i wanted those of you who claimed to be her friends to listen closely...she( no names but you know her) is one of the best writers on this sight bar none... She has always supported this site, and the people on here...i am angry enough about her mistreatment by her friends to warrant reevaluation of my membership here... As helpful and friendly as I have found people on here, it seems people are not as they seem. Even though i deserved what i got..i would still pay her membership on here for her, for no receprcation needed , because she is that good, and she does add value to this web site. Shame on them...what a waste for this site letting a true jewel of this site just go... I may be a child in my actions, but some of you people make me look good. If she reads this, I want her to know that she is appriciated here, if by no one else but me. I know it doesn't mean much, but as a writer I find her writing unmatched on here... of that I am sure... |
| well, its dawn, another day begins... it will bring joy and pain, happiness and sadness. I contemplate the journey before me and find that it is a daunting one. It is replaete with all of which I truly have earned, yes I believe it i Karma. and you all know what Karma is...dont you? I will face it and not back down. I will stand up to it and tell it in my most heartfelt and stern voice that I am here. I am not going away. I will not stop going for what I want. You cannot stop me and have no power over me.I will beat you . I will not cower before you anymore. In fact, in the end, it is YOU who will cower before me. |
| DAY 1549 February 11, 2017 Prompt: Use this story Lunar Eclipse and Green Comet Make for Busy Friday Night in the Sky http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/technology/lunar-eclipse-and-green-comet-make-for-... to inspire your blog entry. well now,If any of you truly know me... you'd know that I am a science geek. liked that article, and probably wouodn't have rushed out into the cold night and tried to see both events happen.i didn't but i would have. i didnt but i would have... yes i am a geek, but at least thats who i truly am, and i make no bones about it. the lunar eclipse, like the scientist said, could have been easily missed especially here in florida with our clouds as they are... and a small green dot in the sky full of other little dots? ya! that wont be missed(ya right). nothing much more on that right now. llap! science officer out ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| Ok folks, another step on the road to finding who I am. I sit contemplating everything that has happened over the past few months and I realize the whole issue with that time period in my life, the whole issue was me. Plain and simple me. I know some people don't know the truth of the story, so I will tell the truth to you all. Well the truth is that I cheated on a long term relationship. I felt the relationship had gone stagnant, lost its steam, and was laden with problems. Although not activly seeking out somebody to cheat with, found someone, and fell for her deeply. Well the problem was compounded because the affair was discovered, by girl #1. Well let's just cut to the chase shall I? I had two women who desparately loved me and was devoted to me. I ended up being a cowered and not doing what I promised I would do and walk away for her,Girl#2, and on top of that I treated her like she was crap, like a side chick as she put it( not going to use explatives here but you get the idea), so naturally I lot her, after the feelings she had for me died a slow and painful death. well she moved on, dont blame her for it, either. What could hve ended up being a very supportive, and fulfilling friendship, ended up getting irrepairably destroyed because I couldn't let it go. She was going to help me deal with some of my issues, but i couldnt just let it go. In short I hurt her even more, and myself in the process. Which led me to moving out, (ya too little too late). Now I am living the life I wanted to avoid, being alone, but this is with a purpose. I am trying to repair and fix me, so one day I can have a meaningful relationship and a future.right now I dont see it happening for a while. Now I no longer talk to this person anymore, which fills me with sadness because she could have been, and was a good and trusted friend. And she found someone to spend her life with happily. Although I do profess that if anyone deserves the happiness she feels right now with her boyfriend it is her. ok folks there it is, for all to see the truth, of how I hurt two very wonderful people in my life. and how I am really not such a nice guy, but on the inside I know I am. I will go down that road and never stop till I find that person. This person said to me, and I will hold on to this forever, the person inside me is there, even now she said she sees it, and to see it all someone has to do is look. Sadly,I doubt she will ever see this, as she has blocked me and wants no further contact with me, and I dont blame her. but I was wish she could read this, the only message I wish to portray with this is Im sorry, to have a great life, as well as pass to her boyfriend that I apologize to him for disrespecting her and you and your relationship,and also to the girl#1 for not talking, communicating problems and make your happiness yours whereever you can find it.. If someone knows here, I will not mention names here, please tell her, to unblock me long enough to read this, then she can reblock me and go on with her life, I would be most appreciative. I had to get this off my chest, in order to be the best person I can be I must take responcibility for my actions and the consequnces too. |
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I don't think I've ever drank so much water in my whole life. Make sure you're staying hydrated and safe out there!
