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My nickname, Mistress Krissy, is what my husband calls me. I'm his queen bee! |
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In 2016, my marriage went up in flames. My husband started an affair in February, although he denies it. He is now married to the girl. They had a baby together. I wasn't sad for myself when I found out - I was sad for the 2 kids he already had with me (as of 2016 they were 7 years old and 6 MONTHS old) that he didn't make a priority. He told me, before the divorce was final, that he didn't owe child support until the court ordered it (what?) so when I was broke, living with my mom, working in an arcade because they were the only ones to hire me, he refused to help. I moved from Texas to Oklahoma, he stayed in Texas, as soon as I figured out the affair. He stopped paying the house, and it got foreclosed...with all of our belongings in it. I had managed to get a few big, important items. After that, he had the locks changed. My car (which was HIS car by legal ownership on the loan) got repossessed because he stopped paying for it. Luckily, my wonderful parents let me buy a car under their name and loan, and I pay them every month. The parents are wonderful. I'll never be able to fully repay them for everything they've done. Mid-2016 I met P, through an online site that I joined just for the hell of it. I wanted to see how much attention I could get! Is it silly? Yes. But I am so glad I did. P had just gotten divorced and moved from Alaska to Missouri, where he was living with his sister. We met in person for the first time in August. By November, we had moved in together, after he got a cheap apartment here in H-town (not the big H-town, the population 5000 one in Oklahoma). Best decision I've ever made. In 2017, the divorce and bankruptcy were finalized! I wish that meant all ties were cut but that isn't true. I'm the one that paid for both. I'm the one that attended court for both. I'm the one that had to walk the ex-h through what he had to do. I was, once again, the adult and acting secretary between us, like I'd been for the past decade of marriage. It was a rocky year. I set up a garnishment account with the state of Oklahoma. Ex-h was a job hopper to avoid the garnishments. He said he couldn't afford to pay for the kids, they were already living on a shoestring (like he knows what that means!). Mid-2017 I got my job at CAG and met wonderful friends, the first big win since my divorce. I also joined a charity group, which is even more awesome. I absolutely love the camaraderie I've gotten from it. In 2018, it was fairly uneventful. Ex-h's tax refund got garnished, as expected. I got almost none of it, because the state kept their share for the low-income medical I had the kids on. I didn't know they could do that, but as much as I'd love to have gotten that big chunka change, I was also grateful they'd had medical all year. I was getting a small amount of food stamps for myself. Mid-2018, P and I got engaged. He proposed while we were at the theater to watch Avengers: Infinity War. I was in my Captain America dress and he in his matching shirt. Our engagement pictures were 50s style in front of the OKC ferris wheel. My lovely older sister did the session for free - she was just happy to be using her fancy camera! In 2019, P and I got married! Best decision I've ever made. The kids love him. My (now 4 year old calls him "daddy" and calls her bio-dad "dad", so she knows who is who but I am so happy there is the obvious bond between them. My (now) 10 year old just calls him by his first name but they also have a very strong bond. He goes to him for the boy advice - the stuff I can't answer by experience - and it makes my heart extremely happy. End of 2019 I had a little bit of a health scare and took a leave from work - I had no FMLA protection because I had gone part-time. I was told the position would be waiting for me when I was ready. Spoiler alert: she lied. It was NOT waiting on me. The morale dipped super low when the new HR took over. If I absolutely wanted the job back, all I have to do is talk to the actual person in charge. But, I don't. It is now 2020! Ex-h now lives in Louisiana. He followed some job there. The garnishments have been fairly long term, so I get semi-regular child support which really helps. I've started banking it, with plans to open their own savings accounts. The company he works for needs to read up on the laws for sending payments in...they went a few months without sending and then sent all at once. He's lucky his refund wasn't garnished even more than it already was! If he had been much farther behind, he could have lost his driver license. Not that I care...but no job, no payments, so there's that! I told him he needed to talk to his employer because they weren't sending garnishments and he told me he wouldn't and that I didn't need to worry about his business. What? Once a man-child, always a man-child. |
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