Search where?

This Portfolio (phantomhope)

All of Writing.Com

◄ August ► 2020
S	M	T	W	T	F	S
						1
2	3	4	5	6	7	8
9	10	11	12	13	14	15
16	17	18	19	20	21	22
23	24	25	26	27	28	29
30	31
Archive				RSS

Create New Item

Read & Review

Community

Browse By Type

Browse By Genre

Writing Resources

Wednesday, May. 15, 2024

3:56pm EDT

Members: 1,008

Guests: 734

Total Online: 1,742

In Vino

by Veritas

Rated: 18+ · Book · Personal · #2140872

You will find Veritas

Because I usually am in Vino

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

In 2009, I gave up my studies as a medievalist and musician, left my home, my family, my life and moved to Provence in southern France for a guy. In 2012, I moved away from him to study wine.

Today, I'm a vagabond sommelier working in Paris at one of the oldest and most famous restaurants in the world, struggling to find some purpose to what I deem the rest of my life. I'm still married and after 8 10 years, I'm still trying to fit-in with French life and culture and to understand why the French are the way they are. Because they're weird in a different way that I think Americans are weird.

Perhaps it's me who's weird.

Show Recent Comments

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

Charlie ~

Nov 1, 2020 at 4:31pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Oh hey, my relationship is similar!

I think it's awesome that you're using that negative experience to get creative. It's hard not to just wallow when those things happen. I use a paper journal for most of my actual coping process too, but I do share bits and pieces on WDC as well.

Charlie ~

Oct 30, 2020 at 7:22pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I hope NaNo does the trick in distracting you at the very least and healing you at best. I was planning on participating, but I realized I can't concentrate on a single idea for more than an hour.

Might try a short story a day instead. Stay safe.

Kåre Enga in Montana

Oct 30, 2020 at 1:35pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Great that you are back.

Moved?

We are going into lockdown here in Missoula but most of the region between Washington and New York resents any suggestion that they should care about others so the numbers soar. Both France and the US have other critical issues as well.

I'm doing NaNo... in my own way. Already started.

Kåre Enga in Montana

Aug 20, 2020 at 3:28pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Yep, rant. If you were here ... I'd say be prepared to dust and clean. Our summers are that dry. Customers? Many Americans can be rowdy but appreciative after a 'drought'. The French? Place and people. One can guess ... and that's about it.

Wordsmitty ✍️

Aug 20, 2020 at 1:17pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I've found myself in very similar situations and have tried the old "Give them enough rope and they'll ..." But as you note, many folks can't even figure out how to tie a knot! I know that's not really helpful, but at least you can see the situation and have the strength and courage to get through it. Rants are good for the soul.

Veritas

Jul 18, 2020 at 8:58am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Sometimes I wonder why I can't just let it go the way some people are able to. After all, I wasn't the first, I won't be the last and what happened was so clouded in alcohol that I can't even tell you concretely if I ever said "No" not that it matters anyway. I went along with it because I thought I was supposed to. Which makes it all worse I guess. I don't know. But I do wish I could just get over it and move on.

Kåre Enga in Montana

Jul 13, 2020 at 5:06pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

But you can come forward here. And that's a plus. Rant as much as you want.

I don't always share some traumas from my past as I don't want to relive them. Some are wrapped with layers of shame and blame I choose not to revisit. Some I've dealt with, found some peace, or just 'forgot'. Some I rant about.

We all heal in different ways. Expressing the rage is one theraputic way.

Much healthier than keeping it all in.

1 Like

Kåre Enga in Montana

Jun 16, 2020 at 6:13pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Yes... little community here at WDC.

I'm 'chatty' so I comment alot. Very little commenting in return. Much nicer back-in-the-day.

Yes, amateurs (which is fine, we all need to start somewhere) and those who are not interested in anyone outside their orbit. Very sad; but, I find a similar problem here in Montana ... folks don't reach out. Been here 12 long years. Had more interaction in Tulsa back-in-the-day. Maybe the culture has shifted as well. It's okay to sit behind a screen but not okay to hide behind one. Just my opinion.

Kåre Enga in Montana

Jun 14, 2020 at 1:56pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I remember odd snippets from KU. It was mostly a positive experience. High school or my first two years of university? A roller-coaster I got off and don't want to get back on. Yes, I should write about it but I'd rather do other things ... anything.

As for leaving WDC. Important to have everything backed up and anything important printed out. You could always just go 'basic' and that would allow you to peek in and comment when the urge hits you.

I barely keep in touch with anyone pre 2010. Sad. I could feel guilty but former friends aren't making much effort either. Nor are new ones. I feel very very isolated.

Kåre Enga in Montana

Jun 14, 2020 at 1:46pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I stay because I have nowhere else to go.

I've cut and run in my personal life ... mostly that didn't work out well.

When some writers here went to Open Salon they were very happy. But that closed and WDC is still here. Many drifted off to spacebook. They're still there, kinda... but that place is a mindfield.

I tried years ago to have better connections with local writers but I don't do 'groups' well and frankly ... they did not welcome me. But the group at the open group at the library persists ... if the library were open.

I'm thinking about moving back to the plains. Real people. Real relationships. Real boring.

I have to avoid drama in real life. Drama on-line is bad for me as well. My nerves can't take it.

But where to go?

August 20, 2020 at 8:43am

#991212

In which I rant about work.

This is a rant about my job. I don't expect anyone to read or comment on it. I just needed somewhere to rant.

I can't with my job anymore. On one had I work with a bunch of egoists who make decisions without thinking about the work that will go into accomplishing their decisions, on the other hand I work with a bunch of people who want glory without taking any responsibility. And no one thinks about the impact their current actions will have on the future. We are getting ready to reopen in two weeks and Julien has decided he is resigning as chef sommelier because he can't take it anymore. I get it. But it puts me in a precarious position because I know what is going to happen. I will be used and exploited to do all the work and have all the responsibility that Julien had while they find someone to replace him. When that someone comes in not a word of thanks or recognition will be given and I'll be pushed to the side, if not pushed out entirely. So that's stress for the future. In the meantime, I'm being asked to plan for the reopening of the restaurant without being allowed to go into work, or work from home, or well... do anything. I just plan in my head and hope it all works out when I get there on the 2nd. But I can't actually plan, because I have to follow the protocol that other people are putting in place. So basically, I am not planning or working but I have to have everything in place and ready to go by snapping my fingers on the 2nd. It's sooooo frustrating and adds a ridiculous amount of stress that shouldn't be there and isn't necessary. I feel like I work with a bunch of mentally challenged people. Honestly. I don't want to be offensive or degrade the mentally challenged but jesus fucking christ I can't be the only intelligent person who can absorb many different timelines and situations and tasks as once in the room. I just can't. It's impossible.

I guess none of this should surprise me. It was like this before the lockdown. And if anything their panic and inability to handle this situation just shows me how inept and unprepared they are. But not in a bad way. I often think that I'm unqualified for my position and the positions I've held in the past. But if they can rise to high-level management and be incapable of well- anything - then clearly, I'm not doing so bad.

It's frustrating. It adds unnecessary stress. It makes me rage. It makes me anxious because I know and can see all of the problems that are going to arise on the 2nd. And there is nothing I can do. And it's all totally normal.

So what am I to do?

I have to change my mentality. Let them sabotage themselves. And the wine cellar if they so desire. And just take a deep breath and rest secure in the knowledge that I am WAY more intelligent and thoughtful than they are. I can work quietly in the background, get yelled at for their complications, and just let it roll off my back because in the end, it's not me who made a mistake and who's totally unsuited to their position.

So I'm going to do just that. Take a deep breath and take it one stupid decision at a time. And learn to assert myself in a calm and positive manner in such a way that strokes their ego while getting what I want. Some people are good at this. I should find them and learn from them.

Like • Comment • View 2 comments

Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books/item_id/2140872-In-Vino/month/8-1-2020