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 |   A journey of self-improvement - or not. |
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Sup? I'm Char. You may know me from timeless classics such as
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I blog for things like
[Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Believin' all the lies that they're tellin' ya Buyin' all the products that they're sellin' ya They say jump and ya say "how high?" Ya braindead, ya got a fuckin' bullet in ya head |
Artist: Rage against the Machine Song: Bullet in the Head [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS"  Prompt: Does your communication style tend to be straightforward or subtle? Are you more likely to speak your mind or beat around the bush? Have you ever gotten into trouble because of your communication style? Sup ya'll? How's your quarantine going?  I'm working from home at this point and I gotta say, it's super difficult to not go anywhere or do anything. I mean, under normal circumstances, working from home would be great because then I'd have energy to go out after work. But this whole social distancing thing is rough on me. Maybe I'm more extroverted than I thought.  I’m trying to stay positive, but the cabin fever is getting to me a little bit. I know I can still go outside even though everything is closed, but my breathing/asthma hasn’t been awesome lately. Plus it’s still kinda cold. So, I guess I should answer the prompt, huh?  My communication style is... it depends.I think I tend to be more straightforward than a lot of people because being subtle rarely gets you anywhere. I’m used to advocating for myself to get what I want/need, but you can’t do that without being up front about your wants and needs. People aren’t mind readers. That isn’t to say that subtlety doesn’t have its place though. Some situations are delicate and you need to navigate them carefully. If you come in hot, it’s unlikely to end well. For example, if you need to kid glove a situation because that’s what the other person requires at the time. With everything going on right now, I’ve had to do this some at work. When someone is stressed or anxious or scared, you can’t also be stressed, anxious, and scared. You have to provide a stable ground for the other person to latch onto. You have to find subtle, sensitive ways to say the things that need to be said. Most of the time though, I’m the first one to speak my mind because I’m often having a meltdown and that doesn’t leave much to the imagination. It’s just a word vomit of everything you need to say and then it’s like there, take that and do something with it. Being the first one to speak my mind has gotten me in trouble countless times. There’s a general scenario that has happened to me repeatedly in life. I’ll give a general overview and then a specific example. So, it generally plays out like this: Situation happens. Me: I’ve assessed above situation and I disagree with the way it’s being handled. I’d like to see a different outcome. Here is an analysis I’ve done of the situation along with potential solutions that I find agreeable. How do you feel about it? Other person: I have assessed your analysis and I find Option B of your potential solutions to be agreeable. This issue has now been resolved. Me: I accept this resolution. Thanks for playing another round of Charlie Feels Uncomfortable. Other people, immediately and simultaneously: WHAT THE FUCK. How is this fair at all???? I would also like to have Option B!?!???? And if that’s too abstract for you, here’s a relevant and timely example. I was the first person in my office to request to work from home due to the virus that’s going around. I assessed the situation, went to the powers that be, and said: “Hey, so, I have poorly managed asthma and this rapidly spreading respiratory virus would likely be exasperated by this preexisting condition. I’m already set up to work remotely using my work laptop. Is it okay with you if I do that?” The powers that be said, “That might be a bit of an overreaction, but I also see your perspective and there’s no reason you can’t get your work done from home. So.. sure, why not? Go for it.” As soon as my coworkers got wind of this, they were complaining. “Why does he get to work at home?? I want to work at home too!” I’ve gotten messages on our company messenger from people asking how “work” is going (in quotations) because they think I’m not actually working. They’re clearly pissed off that I’m working remotely. Step back and imagine that. Imagine being pissed off at a coworker with a preexisting medical condition for asking to work remotely during a global pandemic. And yes, maybe it’s a bad example because everyone who can be working remotely at this point should be... but the moral of the story still stands. You cannot sit around twiddling your thumbs until someone else takes decisive action and then be like WHAT THE FUCK LIFE IS SO UNFAIR?????? No, it’s not. I took a calculated risk. The company could have easily said, “You know what? You’re new here. You aren’t even fully trained yet. Pack your shit and go be unemployed remotely.” The fact that you wait to see it go well for someone else before you bottleneck the system demanding the same thing is just not a good look. It’s weak. This exact communication style situation has gotten me in trouble so much. One of my coworkers said to me, “What the hell?? You got a whiteboard for your office? I’ve been here 3 years and I don’t have one. You’ve been here 3 weeks and you do? How does that work?” Here’s how it works. I woke up in my big boy bed, ate my big boy breakfast, put on my big boy clothes, drove my big boy car to work. And then I used my big boy voice to say, “Oh sweet, a whiteboard! Where can I get one of these bad boys?” And the person I was talking to said, “Oh you like that? I can hook you up with one for your office.” Then I said thanks. That’s the entire story of how I got a whiteboard for my office after a couple weeks on the job. My coworker has legit been sitting there for 3 years thinking someone is gonna pass his office and go, Damn, that dude’s looking lonely as fuck without a whiteboard... I should hook him up. It’s just absurd. This shit isn’t rocket science. This situation will never NOT remind me of my brothers growing up (and even now). They’d say shit like, “It’s so unfair that Charlie doesn’t have a curfew. I had to be home by 10 at his age but he’s coming in at 1 or 2 in the morning.” Just completely skipping over the part where I was getting punished for doing exactly that. I still remember this ridiculous moment where my oldest brother was in the kitchen having a meltdown before breakfast saying that I have always gotten preferential treatment and it’s not FAIR that he had to miss out on hanging out with his friends because he had a curfew at my age and I don’t. Like ‘you ruined my childhood by imposing a curfew’ level breakdown. My dad and I looked at each other and he was like, “Did I not just beat your ass for missing your curfew last night?” And I was like, “Yup...” Ah, father-son bonding time.  Point being— you have to do what feels right for you. Sometimes it’s going to end poorly for you, sometimes it won’t. But for the love of all that is holy, don’t victimize yourself by waiting until someone does what you have been wanting to do all along and then say life isn’t fair. Just victims of the in-house drive-by They say jump, you say how high |
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