Behold freewrites and various fiction exercises! Normally I put these in my main journal(s), but sometimes I need a place that's a bit more visible. You will pry the XGC ratings from my cold, dead hands!
NOTE: All items in here are drafts. Typos, unfortunately, are a part of life here. I do try to correct them but may not get to it in a timely manner.
I really enjoyed this. I know you've been to Brasil but the Brazilian spelling, Jardim Botânico, may confuse folks here, so keeping it "English" may help. "Team Norge" implies that Karl and Inge are Norwegians... as are their names. You pull from what you know... good decision, imho.
"More people meant someone could get to her injection kit more quickly if she happened to have another crisis." Rings true for me personally. When I'm very ill I want someone to know it! Not to necessarily watch me die, but to possibly avoid my demise. When I was choking (late 80s?)I sought someone out who immediately assessed the situation and helped instead of asking stupid questions. Secrets... people die with their stupid secrets.
Your style of writing suits this piece. Well done.
Jargon can separate the innies from the outties... It's a type of gatekeeping whether intentional or not. All technology should be translated into terms that a reader of YA can understand. Sure... there are details and nuances... but that's only important once general concepts are understood.
Nice. Your description brings the place and Dana alive. Of course... how old is Dana? Is she as old as my vampires? Some are a bit stiff. Dana seems limber. And, is she really just a photographer? Yes, I want to know more.
I remember those days. Working from home was the only thing I enjoyed about it. I've come to like working from home and am allowed to do that once a week.
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