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Bare and uncensored personal expression. Beware!!! |
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** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** "This is pretty much what journals are all about, at least to me. I knew as I wrote them that even though they provided an excellent place for brain (and heart, and psyche) dump, they were mainly a map of me." --- Colleen Wainwright "Writing gives you the illusion of control, and then you realize it's just an illusion, that people are going to bring their own stuff into it." --- David Sedaris "Please write again soon. Though my own life is filled with activity, letters encourage momentary escape into others lives and I come back to my own with greater contentment." --- Elizabeth Forsythe Hailey "In giving of myself onto these pages every day I allow myself to write regardless of the depth and meaning. I share myself with others without fear of recrimination for these are my thoughts, my feelings and my very being, and there are non who's opinion of me matters more than my own." --- Rebecca Laffar-Smith   The Writer's Round-About |
| *collapses in a heap* OMG it's FINALLY finished. I just spent pretty much all of today writing an indepth review that I'd promised a Persevering Poets Present member and friend. She had asked specifically for reviews of her poem over a month ago in the forum and as we discussed it I agreed to take the time to give her a blow by blow account, full critique mode. That is something I really should be more careful about promising because it's actually very difficult to pull apart someone elses poetry. It's hard to stay positive and even harder to remember that in a way it's someone elses little jewel and they may struggle to hear any suggestions at all, particularly when they get so detailed and specific. Sometimes it's so very easy to take those sorts of comments to heart and I hope Cass finds my feedback leads her toward artistic growth. Meanwhile I'm wiped out. That sort of work is intense and time consuming. Admittedly I got distracted frequently and worked late. I've given myself permission to quit early tonight. Just have to write my blog and then do some poetry. Last night I got hooked on the poetry and ended up being unable to sleep. lol Talk about ironic. I'd gone into the day unable to bring together words for poetry, having spend the day being analytical instead of creative but by evening it was there on my fingers and the ideas wouldn't be quiet. Now the back of my poetry journal has a whole page of title prompts which will hopefully spark poems on days when I'm stuck for ideas. Each of them were making my pen itch as I wrote them down. lol I've actually done a surprising amount of reviewing this week and I'm rather pleased with myself about that. Reviewing isn't really something I've held in high priority. I know there must be some experience gained by analysing and critiquing the work of others but I have to say I'm normally too self absorbed to be generous enough with my time to offer advice when it may or may not be well received. Too often in the past I've spent a long time putting together a great review only to have the writer respond with ingratitude. I accept that I don't know everything and my reviews are my own opinion based on my twenty years writing experience but even if a writer disagrees with what I have to say they should at least appreciate what it took from me to say it. I respond with thanks to every review I get, even the one worders simply because those people gave me the gift of their time, something that is a particularly valueable commodity. I've seen the top reviewers list and I'm notice those who get the most credit for reviewing tend to do lots of reviews. Quanity over quality. It frustrates me because I spend on average thirty minutes reading and reviewing each poem. Some reviews take even longer. The people who are recognised for their reviewing however are the ones who toss out multiple reviews in thirty minutes and don't really give the writers much to think about. Personally, I'd rather someone pick apart everything they didn't like in my work then get five star perfection ratings. Primarly because I KNOW my work isn't perfect. I mightn't be able to capture exactly what the problem is but I know when there is one for the most part. Having said that, if a reader really does think it's perfect I'd love to know WHY they feel that way. What about it caught them? What aspects made the poem above average? Which lines resonated sharply and why did these connect most tangently? I guess maybe I look too deeply into everything. A life learner, I've always pulled everything apart to see how it all works. Jack of all trades in the sense that my curiosity knows no bounds. I don't much like the game of cricket but I still insisted someone explain all the rules to me. Unfortunately they didn't succeed in portraying the 'point' of the game. Watching grass grow never did hold much interest. Not unless I could get beneath the soil and see the roots in action anyway. lol Insatiable curiosity and short attention span. I guess I'm doomed.  |
Yep that was pretty much my whole day. What was scheduled to 2 hours yesterday and 2 hours today ballooned out into spending most of the day working on "Invalid Item"  Admittedly I didn't get much of it done yesterday. I was struggling and gave up getting it done, headed to bed instead. Today I was more focused and actually managed to pull together what I hope is an interesting, educational and easy to understand article/lesson.Of course it took about three hours today to research and write on top of the two hours research I did yesterday which is much longer than I had planned to spend. Thankfully I also realised that having ToP scheduled into my Tuesday morning doesn't make much sense since I can't actually wrap up the contest and announce winners until the afternoon. Rearranging a schedule is all a part of the process I suppose. I also think I'll probably have to move my Daily Poetry Journal to late at night instead of the morning timeslot it's in at the moment since I struggle to be creative in the daytime. Either the chaos of my surroundings, the noise etc. or just the way my mind functions prevents me from really accomplishing much on a creative front during the day but my imagination is sparked during the evening so it gets easier from then when the kids have been fed, bathed and put to bed and the house becomes still but for the skittering of mice and the calm dozing snores from the dog asleep on the couch behind me. (I need a more effective rodent erradication device) After finishing the article I then had to wrap up last weeks lesson which meant doing a bunch of indepth reviews. I actually enjoyed reviewing today. It's time consuming because I put a lot of effort into reviewing. At least with PPP members I know that for the most part they'll value my feedback. When reviewing randomly around the site, particularly in the newbie stack it's hard to know if a constructive critique will be well received. I hate spending thirty minutes on a review only to get a one liner response that kind of shoves it all back into my face. They happen a lot more than they should but I guess there are a lot of immature users amongst the thousands on this website. The participants in the workshop however are actively honing the craft of poetry. They understand it's more than dumping words on a page. (At least I hope by week 15 they do.) I've watched a few of my earlier participants growing right before my eyes as they come to see and appreciate new aspects of poetry that they mightn't have wandered before and as they practice it every week over the past few months. It's amazing to see the improvement and feel some pride in hopefully, having made a difference to these talented poets. Continuing on the PPP front I want to offer a big huge thanks to tirzahlaughs Everyone give her lots of hugs and kisses and make her blush from me. She's brave and mighty and wise. *grins* She's kindly agreed to give hosting a shot. I'm hoping she'll enjoy doing it and want to stick at it a while. She's going to host "Invalid Item" and I'm really looking forward to learning more about poets across the ages. It's like my own personal university degree without the degree or the university or school fee's.  I always wanted to do an English Lit. course and hopefully learning via the knowledge of other poets of all experience levels will be equivelent if not even better.Meanwhile, although my hours were longer than planned I've managed to get a lot accomplished today. I feel very good about finishing up those reviews since reviewing isn't something that really factors highly on my list of priorities. The workshop of course is there and the reviews were a part of that so I guess it's a bonus. I do have a couple of hours reviewing scheduled into tomorrow morning and now I'm looking forward to that. Alas, I didn't have an opportunity to play games at all today. I did sneak into the chat room for a short while which is where I was talking to Tirz and enticing her to the hosting position. Good thing Anyea  wasn't there cause we were doing a LOT of P talk. You're glad you missed it too aren't you Anyea. Of course you probably gave up trying to get throught this blog entry, what with all the Ping I'm doing. Speaking of Ping I have to get my daily done tonight at some point.Thankfully however the day is almost over. I'm starting to wonder how to weasel out of working on The Dating Game tonight but I know I shouldn't. It's tempting to call in sick about now and play games instead and my evil insides are saying, "Well you worked late this afternoon/evening you deserve the break." I know it's just my inner critique trying to hide from facing the demons in that book. I also know that if I listen to it today it'll be harder to ignore tomorrow, and the morrows to come. I can't put that book back on the shelf. It's time is now. Fingers crossed I can find the joy in it however so that it's not torture because if it's torture for me to work on it'll be torture for others to read. I do however have 30 minutes right now to get my DPJ written so catcha tomorrow everyone and good writing to you all. I send you inspiration and determination toward your own goals. Have a fantastic Tuesday. |
| It's 9PM and I'm only just settling in to being able to work for today. *sighs* This is life tossing out the required potholes I guess. They're there to shake you up and make sure you're really living. They're also the best way to know that we're never on this road of life alone. Today is Monday of course and my schedule has 7 hours of writing factored into it. It doesn't counter for my sister making weekday plans. I admit I agreed to the plans when I could have said no but to me time with my family actually comes before my writing and my career. I don't see my sister very often and the kids really love having a day out with her because it's always fun and interesting. Today we went ten-pin bowling. Yes, it was fun and interesting and the darn two year old kicked our butts. He even got the first strike of the game. *pouts* Show off! I guess he really is a lot like his Uncle who was a league bowler in his younger years. I didn't however factor in how expensive bowling is these days. What happened to playing 10 frames for $2? $10 per person per game? That's what we pay to see a movie. *grumps* Anyway, we did the family thing all morning, fed the ducks, spent time at the library, had lunch. Then did more family thing in the afternoon with my mother and getting some errands done and having a great chat. Overall it was a wonderful day out and well worth the sacrifice I made this morning. The plan was to put this mornings work into the afternoon since I wasn't interupted with school at the moment but we actually didn't get home until after dinner. The kids haven't been in bed very long and so I'm out of time. The next few hours are supposed to be spent working on TDG. After blogging of course. So I'm torn. Do I push TDG out for today and get the 5 other things wrapped up in those two hours or do I remain true to the schedule tonight and work 2 hours on TDG leaving me with four hours worth of work that didn't get done that need to get factored into tomorrow? Or do I stay up late and try and get as much of it all done tonight as I can? Which means I'll get less sleep and still have a busy schedule tomorrow... *grimaces* Obviously some bad planning going on there and ultimately the hassles of having these unfinished tasks hanging over my head is annoying me. I think I'll go with putting off TDG tonight. *sighs* I feel like I'm letting myself down doing that but these other projects need to get done sooner rather than later and TDG will still be there, hanging it's axe over my head tomorrow. Still, it's made me assess my schedule a little. What am I going to do if things like this keep happening. Today was something special, as I said, my sister doesn't visit often. But I might have to learn to respect myself and my work and learn to say, "Hey can't do it, working those hours, but perhaps we can plan to meet such and such instead?" *grins* Yeah a viable option. How about I try that next time. Meanwhile, I still enjoyed my day out and have a few hours tonight to get some work done. At least I'll accomplish something which is better than the nothing I've been managing lately. I enjoyed having the weekend off. It's actually quite difficult to NOT write when you've decided not to. lol Not that I had the urge to go nuts at the keyboard or anything, just that come 8:30PM I'm thinking about blogging then realizing that I'd given myself permission not to that night. Or I'd want to check back into email and forums during the day when I should have been stepping away from work completely. I did however manage many wonderful hours with Neverwinter Nights and it was difficult this morning reminding myself that I can't play that today because I have work obligations to complete first. NWN's is something I can play outside of my sheduled work ours. It's kind of a reward for sticking to my schedule and a part of me is looking forward to playing a little more tomorrow. Hopefully that will spur me on through the mornings workload. Tonight however I have a few things to get done so I better get to it. I can now however put a big tick next to 'Blog' *grins* Cause I've done that. |
| Yeah I jumped on the bandwagon. I'd planned to write it since they announced it but I finally did just now. I know it's not going to be winning any prizes but it is at least another writing goal I set myself that I managed to accomplish. I wonder how many of those I'll actually acheive this year. By that state of my mood lately, not as much as I'd like. But I'm resolving to give myself a good slap on the rear and kick my gear into action. Calendar really is coming out. From now on my writing is a real job. I work 9:30 AM to 2PM allowing for interruptions from kids and household chores (like rotating laundry) only, and then 8:30 to 11:30 PM. Weekdays only! That gives me 7 hours a day with time to get my daughter to and from school, half an hour for lunch, and a break to get dinner and kids to bed. It's acheivable and works to my situation. It means that if I do any shopping on a weekday it'll have to happen in the afternoon or perhaps I'll aim to shop on Saturday's instead. I know I can make this work and it's one of the most important steps to truly accomplishing something of value this year. To take myself seriously I have to treat my writing with the full credit it deserves. No more hobbying and pretending I'm a writer, it's all about BUTT IN CHAIR. In fact, I've already begun. It's Friday night and I'm here, Butt in Chair, writing my blog for the first time in how long? Yes! Regular, weekday blog entries are again firmly set into my routine. Part of this working regime is focused on ensuring I DON'T work on the weekend so there will be no blog on a Saturday or Sunday night. I'm giving myself permission to have the weekends off. I'll need them after working so hard all week. I can already hear Anyea, Ger and Hermione cheering. Yeah, I'm back. No chat room however, sorry to disappoint you Anyea. I've found over the past months that the chat room has been the most wonderful procrastination tool. I'm not going to use it as an excuse not to write any more. I am however still available via email, yahoo, and MSN so don't think you're losing me. I need to do some freewriting because at the moment my priorities are a little scrambled. I have returned Persevering Poets Present to my list of things I do work on. I'm not giving it up like I've time and again suggested I might. *sighs and chuckles* You know, I really am too attached to the group and very proud of it. Sure, it's not as active as I'd like, part of that is my own fault for not being active enough within it myself, but with 80+ members it's a the BEST poetry group on WDC and I'm hoping to really make it something special in the coming year. Mostly now I need to start thinking about how to use those 7 hours a day. How much time to give each of my projects and which projects to make a priority. That's where the calender/scheduler comes into play. The following are projects I need to allow time for:  TDG - The Dating Game (Romance Novel)FoT - The Flight of Torque (Fantasy Novel)PPP - Persevering Poets PresentNS - Nature's Sonnets (Poetry Anthology)Blog - That's here, Mental Meanderings.EiW - "Invalid Item" DPJ - Daily Poetry JournalIt's not really too much. In fact, if I focus only on these projects this year I should breeze through. I do have to add checking email and a few reading things, like the few regular blogs I keep up with and "Writer's Fallout Shelter" . I'll have to allocate a specific time of day, perhaps 30 minutes each morning to deal with that.So much planning to do. But it's 10 PM now and that means I have an hour and a half to begin tonight. *sighs* Darn, and I really wanted to play Neverwinter Nights some more. *chuckles* TOO BAD! I'm WORKING! I'll reward myself with NWN tomorrow. *grins* |
| It's Monday afternoon and I can finally move without being cast into blinding agony. I mentioned going to the beach on Saturday and getting sunburnt but even then I had no idea how badly my skin had taken the sunlight. The pain is easing off at last now but for all that night it felt like it was continuing to burn through layers and layers of flesh. Nothing took away the heat and I was starting to wonder if this is what burns patients feel like in hospital. You know, the Australia sun is pretty brutal. I wonder how many people out there each and every day are destroying their bodies in the sunlight. I wonder how much my hour in the sun has damaged my skin. Am I a step closer to cancer because of this burn? I've always been super conscious of the destruction the sun wreaks. I don't like the heat to begin with and tend to keep my home dark and cool. In fact for years I wanted to move elsewhere to get away from the heat of Australian Summers. Now days I just stay home, in the airconditioning and go out infrequently and fully covered to places that are shaded and airconditioned. Unless of course my sun-loving and skin-tanning sister drags me out into the sunshine where my skin promptly turns the shade of a glittering ruby. To go with sunburn is the inevitable dehydration when no matter how much I drink I still feel dry and brittle. I can understand why a large portion of this country is desert. I've often had fantasies about living in the outback where the land is barren and dust coats in multiple layers every surface. Where the brown is speckled with cattle that goes weeks on minimal water and the only way to get from place to play is by helicopter or light plane. But I couldn't handle the sun in an environment like that. As beautiful as this land is I've not really got the temperament to withstand it. Damn my English heritage. Meanwhile I wander around in backless clothing letting the burn heal while I remain firmly away from all light sources. I laze about trying to recover my energy and my fluids, moving as minimally as possible so as not to make my back hurt any more than it already does and I wonder how many layers of my flesh will peel away when the skin begins to heal. Oh, the wonders of the Australian Summer Sun. |
| My sister dragged me and the kid out to the beach today. I might be Australian but I'm not really a beach person. I was raised my whole life with a brother who couldn't go out in the sun and I didn't have the chance to learn to swim properly because of ear infections. Add that to the fact that my skin is white as milk and curdles as effectly when left in the sun and you have some very good reasons to avoid one of the countries most quantiful resources. But from time to time I let people convince me to brave the elements and spend the day in the sun. I prefer the beach when it's raining. But my sister looks at me strangely when I say that. She's one of these people blessed with skin that always tans and a body that looks incredible in a bikini. I don't understand how we can share even half of the same gene pool. Anyway, I gave in and the four of us went to the beach for about an hour in the morning. Despite not being a very strong swimmer after the innitial shock of cold from the water I enjoyed paddling with baby boy who liked to get me in up to my neck where I had to tred water and scramble to keep my feet so that we didn't both end up under. He's fearless and has to be held back where he can swim or risk being dragged out to sea. His sister keeps not passing the first level of swim school. She's not confident enough in the water and until this year didn't much like it at all. More recently she's come to like water and be a bit braver about it all but she's still can't swim. My sister threw her onto her back and took her out into the deep water where even her almost 6 foot height couldn't touch bottom. There was a pontoon out there with a slide and the two went on that, my sister catching my girl as she landed into the water. Can't say I was too keen on the idea but I watched them and other than nearly drowning on the swim back they were having a lot of fun. We built sandcastles in the surf where the waves kept knocking down our sandwalls and flooding our moats and demolishing our towers. We dug big holes and let the waves come in to fill them up like mini swimming pools and a lake for the princess. Eventually we had to wash off the sand and get some lunch. While our orders cooked the kids ran around on the grass and collected rocks and sticks and nuts. It was a good day out and for the most part I'm glad we went. The kids had a ball and both survived the sun. They faired better than I did. I can feel the skin tingling from sunburn and move carefully to prevent my shirt rubbing against it. *sighs* I have to go shower once I've finished blogging because there is sand in places sand certainly doesn't belong. The salt is keeping my skin dry. Next time, I'm demanding we go to an indoor swimming pool. No sun, no sand, no surf but still the fun on swimming and paddling in the water. A much better option as far as I'm concerned. Oh, I forgot the fish and seaweed. Ick. I hate seaweed. And we had fun chasing the little fish, shame they weren't anything near big enough to bother catching. Makes me want to go fishing however. An advantage of fishing is your best not to do it in full sun, dusk and dawn are the times to go fishing. Or when it's raining. See, there it is again, the beach is much better in the rain. |
| Isn't it strange the sorts of things we can get addicted to? Around this time last year I was doing really well with weight watchers. I was losing weight and had learnt pretty much everything they teach you about controling your weight. What are the right foods, the wrong foods and how important exercise is to getting fit and healthy. Now days the weight I lost has been stacked back on but I know it's because for the past six months I haven't been careful to avoid the bad and I haven't been exercising nearly enough to counter it. *sighs* It takes a great deal of effort to lose weight and even more to keep it off. I'd love to reach goal weight but so far temptations keep proving too great. My willpower isn't there, or perhaps I'm not settling to the idea that looking great feels better than tasting great. With my mother newly diagnosed diabetic I'd have thought I'd be even more conscious of what I eat that is bad for me. Odds are I'll develop diabetes as I get older as well, especially if I continue on as I have been lately. I try to be good with my meals but then the sugar cravings hit and I binge. Binging on sugar once in a while is better than having a little bit regularly but binging on sugar every day is very bad. It's expensive too, buying all this junk adds up in my expenses and makes me wince. But really the sugar craving is strange. I've been addicted to smoking, and caffeine in the past and this feels like another addiction. The cravings come on at certain times of the day and I feel horrible withdrawl if I don't give into them. I know that it's really a case of breaking the cycle by not giving into the cravings but it's easier to talk about then to do. I know I can however because I no longer smoke and it's been about a month since I last had caffeine and I'm no longer craving either except in rare moments of temptation. It was easy to give up both the smokes and the cola in comparison to this sugar addiction. Even when I was doing weight watchers I knew sugar was my downfall. I could do everything else right, workout every day, each healthy regular meals and lose weight guarenteed. But if I had sugar in the week I'd gain. It took me ten weeks to get into the hang of that fact because I used to drink cordial with sugar instead of drinking water. It adds up fast. Now I drink sugar-less but chocolates and candy are my downfall. It's not even the flavor so much as the sugar hit my body craves. *ponders* Perhaps the sugar is even related to the insomnia since now I think about it this all started in the weeks leading up to Christmas. I know I have to get this back under control. In the past I've dealt with addiction by replacing a bad habit with a good one. I might have to stock up on sugar-free gum again and chew instead of choc. *sighs* Giving up sweets. How utterly evil is that? *grimaces* I'm a chocoholic. I love my chocolate and candy. But ultimately I know how bad it is for me on all levels. So no more. Be healthy, lose weight, save money. I have to focus on the positives of why it's important to stop giving into these cravings. I can do it, might have to stock up on some rabbit food nibbles too. |
| The dread is upon me. I've put it off for almost two years but I've finally settled into deciding to get a second draft of The Dating Game together. The first step I suppose is to actually read from cover to cover the first draft. I read the first three chapters of it today and of what amounts to about 7 thousand words only perhaps 500 of them feel salvagable. Overall I read it and feel like it sounds totally contrived. The characters aren't real. Jake goes in way too strong and I'm left flounding over exactly why these two conflict. At this point they don't and because of the genre they should be facing issues that will lead to the climax. Basically it all feels very weak, limp, and lifeless. I know, we writers are our own worst critiques but truly at this stage I'm no where near liking it and wouldn't share it with anyone until I at least have a little pride in the work myself. I am proud of the word count. I'm proud of the basic plot, the original concept and while they might at the moment feel a little 2D I'm also very interested in my characters. There is a great story here and with the right approach I can polish this and get it published. The trouble is facing the dread. Normally I could take a romance book off my shelf and read it cover to cover in a matter of hours. With TDG I can't lose myself into it. I don't know if it's just because it's bad or if it's because I'm analysing it all too deeply. Perhaps it's because I know what I want to accomplish so I'm always searching for the elements to make it work. It's making the reading factor a drudgery. A part of me wants to just stop reading, put it back into a bottom shelf for another year or two. Then part of me thinks maybe I should just toss the first draft and go in for a full rewrite. The primary part of myself however if determined to focus on reading the whole thing before deciding to rewrite or hack and slash. The strange thing is I feel let down today that I only read three chapters. Because I know I could read a book of this style and genre in a few hours. I've read five and six a day of these sorts of books sometimes. I suppose I should reflect on the fact that if I were writing I'd only have processed around 2,000 words max so reading and making notes over 7,000 words of the book is an accomplishment. Mostly at this stage the notes involve brackets to bring my attention back to certain points. Some are marked with praise if it's a section I felt deserved it. There are a few larger notes when I felt forced to comment on something particularly flaccid such as POV issues. Reading over it there are entire scenes that have names out of place where the characters developed in my mind. My main character went in the beginning from an Emma to an Emily which is something I've changed on the latest WORD version with a find and replace. But her children also were altered in the early chapters and all that needs fixing. There is a whole undercurrent that I came up with in the story that will need to be added to flesh out the novel as well as countering the 'moving too fast' factor with Jake. He's too self assured, too certain, which doesn't work for the plot because in the early stages he's supposed to be finding Emily dates instead of already deciding he's her guy. *sighs* Basically I know there is a great deal of work ahead of me and I'm not really sure how to go about it. I guess all I can do is go as I normally do, leaping in feet first. Part of today I tried looking around for information on facing a second draft. I couldn't find very much. Writing Books tend to talk about the idea stage and the writing stage, some even cover the publishing stage. There is the editing stage that focuses on the sentence structure and spelling etc. But I can't find much that talks about cleaning up the story, bolstering the character development, and basically turning a weak, limp, first draft into a good, solid second. I guess I'll keep trudging on. Reading a few chapters a day. I can face it, bit by bit and hopefully it will all slot into place through dedication to action. It's definately better than the inaction this book has faced for the past year and a half. It's still a daunting idea and talking about it doesn't seem to help counter the dread factor. *sighs* Hopefully continued action will. |
| I was in the chat room earlier today when the topic of bullying came up. It made me wonder how many of us remember episodes of bullying in school or even throughout life. Does everyone feel like they've been a victim of bullying? Do those bullies ever look back and recognize their actions for what they were? Do they ever regret the way they acted in school? Do we all carry the wounds of growing up into today? It's interesting reflecting on this sort of thing and trying to see where it affects who we've become. It makes me wonder about the lives of some of the other kids I've witnessed getting bullied and it makes me wonder if my innaction when it was going on is partly to blame. Bullying is something that has happened for generations and I know we've all dealt with it at one point or another. I've heard of some very dangerous situations. We've seen the news about schoolyard incedents that have really escalated which were probably instigated by bullying. It makes me wonder if perhaps it's not being dealt with seriously enough. As a mother I'm really concerned because my six year old has come home on occasion and told me about being picked on at school. It really comes to the fore when it's your own child facing the cruelty of other children. She's shy and sensitive as it is and I don't know what to tell her, what to teach her to give her the strength to face her taunters and deal with the situation. I know teachers don't have eyes everywhere and most of the time they are doing the best they can. But then I hear of other situations, generally with older kids, when there are no consequences. These kids can get particularly nasty and they get away with it either because they don't get caught or they just get a warning. There is no one dealing with the situation and there has to be a way to keep things like this controlled. Perhaps bullying and being bullied is all a part of growing up. If not for these little battles as kids would we grow up stronger and more able to face adversity as adults? Then again, it's because of these sorts of things our first walls against accepting others into our lives were errected. I guess there really are no answers and no wonder bullying has continued generation after generation. I just don't like the idea of my kids, or any kids being hurt by these sorts of squabbles and facing the peer pressure that goes with it. I worry about where it will end up when kids are getting seriously hurt, weilding arms to school, getting violent and truly, sickeningly abusive. Is it escalating? Are bullies meaner and nastier then when I was a child? What can I tell my daughter to help her find the inner strength to face bullies. I tell her to talk to her teachers. I tell her that she's perfect and beautiful and smart. But I don't know how to deal with bullies myself other than ignoring them. That only works to a degree as well. I just hope she comes through it with fewer scars then I did. *sighs* |
| Being the single mother of two very bright and active kids is both heaven and hell. After spending three days sick in bed, rising only to ensure the kids were alive and ate something I finally felt recovered enough to take stock of the damage. The house? Totalled. lol Thankfull not irrecoverably since I don't think my home insurance covers rambunctious children, perhaps they'd count as an act of God? It's interesting to see my home upended. It doesn't look all that different from when it's not upended except that the chaos extends further and in greater quantity. Toys and empty packets of nibbles strewn everywhere along with other various items that the kids made use of and discarded without packing away while they were more or less unsupervised lay in disarray in every room of the house. Dirty clothes on most floors, lots of trekked in dirt and sand, a few stray jelly beans, books, and still more toys seemed to create piles across the floor. Thankfully it only took a few hours, lots of nagging, some raised voice, and a heap of praising to get two rooms so far back into order. I need to catch up with laundry but that'll probably take at least a week. Thankfully I can again see the floor in my room and the living room. My floorboards however are looking worse for wear. Many times I've very glad I hadn't yet saved and paid to have them sanded, waxed and polished. When I eventually do I'll probably have to stain as well but I'm waiting till my two rug rats are old enough not to poor chocolate icecream on squash jelly lollies onto it. Sometimes it makes me wonder if having a husband around would make this any easier. I reflect on when my husband was around and think perhaps not. Having him home never seemed to make any difference to either the way the kids acted or the state of the house. If anything it just meant dirty dishes in every room instead of just the kitchen, more laundry, pee spattered toilet and grime smeared bathroom. Yep, definately better off as a single mother. *chuckles* See, good to reflect on the positives sometimes. lol I am a little frustrated however because I was hunting for something as I cleaned today and couldn't find it. I had thought that on Friday it had sunk down the back of my bed and I was too sick to bother fishing it out so I could return it on time. It's a DVD now days overdue. They called about it already and I can't find it anywhere. It's not where I thought it was and it's not in any of the likely places. I may have to go in tomorrow and pay the replacement value which is a pain in the butt. I hate when this stuff happens. I should have followed my instincts and returned it last week. Oh well, the priority tomorrow is to tackle the two kids rooms. It would be nice to see their floor and be able to walk around their bed to put new sheets on. It would be nice to put away baby boys folded clothes without risking contamination from the various types of dirt that creates a nature reserve on his wardrobe. I'll also make more of a dent on the laundry and kitchen. It's times like this I'm thankful for two incredible investments I made for my home last year. Two modern conveniences that have been life changing. My airconditioner to stave away the scorching Australian summer heat and my dishwasher to make keeping up with dishes so much easier. I'm now contemplating getting a second tumble dryer to speed up laundry time. Meanwhile, I'm tired and I want to have a break while there is quiet in the house and the kids are sleeping. I'm going to go read a book and not think about all the housework I have to do tomorrow. I guess the good thing is I might find this DVD. Of course if I don't, at least I'll have restored order for a few hours. PS. If anyone knows how to make a six and two year old put away their things AS they finish playing PLEASE share this vital information with me. Even spending hours being coaxed to clean up doesn't seem to deter them from making the mess in the first place. *sighs and collapses in an exhausted heap* |
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