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Thanks to everyone for your kind words of support. I truly appreciate all of you. *hugs* I believe the reason struggling with my inability to do what I used to do is harder on me now is because the doctors have finally found the right combo of meds to help me. Let me explain: Nearly three years ago I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Each and every medicine I was put on created an adverse reaction - the worst being Depakote, which literally stole my soul. I felt like a complete zombie. I didn't care about anything. I just lived in my little drawn up (mentally & physically) ball, unaware and unable to participate in the world around me and didn't even care that I couldn't. I ended up switching doctors and the new one agreed with the diagnosis of bipolar disorder. We tried other various meds for it, but the only one which seemed to make a little difference caused me to break out in a rash all over my trunk area. The doc had said this could be a side effect, adding that the rash could also go internal and be fatal. Great! One med which seemed to be making a difference could kill me! Needless to say, I got off of that. My younger sister had said for quite some time that she felt I had A.D.D. A few months back I asked her to drive me to my appointment (30 minutes away) as I was so mentally "out of it" from the medicine I was taking that I was afraid to drive. I also asked her to go in to see the doc with me, which she did. She mentioned to the doctor the possibility of me having A.D.D. and he decided to give me a questionnaire to fill out just to see what my numbers might end up being. I guess he decided the numbers were high enough to consider A.D.D. as a possibility. He started me on Adderall and, over a short period of time, the differences are AMAZING ! Everyone who knows me sees the positive changes as well. Then the trouble was that since I was finally feeling more "with it" and functioning more as a 'normal' human being, I realized how truly depressed I was. I have been on many, many different anti-depressants over the years. It seems that each one which helped, only helped for maybe two years then my body adjusted to it. The new doctor put me on Zoloft and this, along with the Adderall, is making an incredible difference in how I feel. I want to do things, be social, go places, visit with others and just participate in life again. Since I am feeling better mentally and emotionally, I want to be more active and do some of the things I used to do, but this damned fibromyalgia keeps kicking me. This may sound strange, but sometimes I think it was better when I was not "with it" mentally, for then I didn't have the struggle with the limitations created by fibromyalgia. I don't know. Sometimes life seems so complicated. The worst thing lately is my fibromyalgia has been flaring for two solid weeks and I hurt so very much I can hardly take it. My pain medicine doesn't seem to be helping, though I might be in a lot more pain if I weren't taking it. This is the worse flare I have ever had. I have had many flares which have lasted this long, but NONE which have created such constant, almost debilitating, pain. It doesn't seem to make any difference what I do or don't do, the pain is kicking me hard! On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being the worst, my pain levels for the past two weeks have been 11+. I have to admit that I hurt so much it is scaring me. But I will get through this. I pray for the flare to begin to fade and leave me with the regular and (almost) tolerable pain I normally have. I can handle that a lot better than this flare. Okay, okay, I have kept my head on your shoulders long enough. I appreciate your compassion, acceptance and camaraderie. I am always here for each and everyone of you as well. Have a great weekend.  EDIT: I finally could not take this pain any longer and called my family doctor. He called in for me a script of a Medrol DosPak. I took the first dose at lunch and I am beginning to feel much better. I don't know why I hadn't called the doc before now. I guess I was just figuring there wasn't anymore he could do except to put me on something which would knock me out and I did not want that! Anyway, I am beginning to feel better. Thanks for listening.  Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin. ~Anonymous ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** CHECK THESE OUT:
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Does anyone else have a hard time..... EDITED to add... · 01-26-07 11:19am 
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