Story Cafe

Griffin Windheser -age 14- england

A bit about myself: I've written one book (not published)(4200 words). I've half-written another (5000 words) but felt it wasnt going anywhere so i've decided to leave it and write a sort of ghost/horror story. I've come up with the story line:




‘The Thing’ plays with its victim’s mind. It basically makes the victims senses go haywire. E.g. The victim sees an imaginary spider or needle (something that the person is afraid of). The problem is that many a time the victims kill themselves before they can report it, believing themselves to be insane or unable to cope with the ‘hallucinations’ any longer. This means that research is limited. The Thing strikes once in a while, and each time it knocks off a little of the countdown until the next episode hits.

It is hardly known how people end up with ‘the Thing’, rumors say it was a ghost which terrorizes random people but from extensive research in top-secret labs from all over the world, it targets those who are beside themselves with guilt. An average person has a year to live before their brain exhausts. A mentally strong minded person could manage two years before they too can’t take anymore of ‘the Thing’. There is no cure.

WARNING

Victims of ‘The Thing’ should seek help from top scientists around the world.

Symptoms
• Hearing things
• Feeling things
• Seeing things
• Tasting things
• Smelling things
• Sensing things

Other Symptoms Victims Described
• Screaming babies
• Temporary Silence
• Loud noises
• Food tastes like cardboard
• Smell of Death
• Sense of a presence in the room but seeing no-one
• Walls moving
• Toys slowly come alive
• Something touching you
• Voices
• Headaches
• Becoming more cold and withdrawn from society

BEWARE…



I've started the first few paraghs but I would like some tips and suggestions as this is my first scary story.
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The Poltergeist

The tube lights flickered. Satyrus shuddered as he glanced nervously at the old granny for the thousandth time. With her wrinkled face gazing down, she had not moved from her sitting position on the ragged underground chair. His legs ached but he didn’t dare sit, for the mounting unease of the woman.

Heart pounding, he reluctantly looked elsewhere, that his mum told him it was rude to stare. Satyrus couldn’t understand why he was being so fearful of a granny. He was 24 years old and scared of a granny! He smiled to himself as his humour temporarily dampened the internal fear growing deep inside his heart.

His smile vanished as the train drew to a halt and the dilapidated double doors juddered violently apart. The old lady sighed and slowly straighten up. As she half-stumbled to the doors, Satyrus winced at every crack and creak her spine groaned out. Every time he was sure she would fall and breathe her last breath. She kept going.

The doors would close any second. He’d rather die than stay on the tube with her. He took a deep breath but nothing could slow his furious heart, pounding away at his blood as he took a step toward the door, and the woman. He took another step, he felt light-headed. Another, he was ready to collapse.

In the midst of his fears, the unsympathetic doors started to close. He snapped out his hand. The doors kept closing. He mustered the last of his energy which had not been already used on his thumping heart, and pulled back the door, the fear of the ever nearing lady fuelling his strength.

At last she hobbled slowly to the door. As she passed she laid her eyes on his. His heart stopped, dead. Her eyes were bloodshot, her pupils scarlet red. Tears of pure ran blood ran down from her eyes. They sliced dark scar across his heart. He screamed, a scream so sharp that it broke the old woman. She started to disintegrate into the floor. She silently screamed. A waft of death rose up from her.


Basicually, Satyrus is imagining it.

thanks for reading.