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Rated: ASR · Message Forum · Other · #101179
All invited, Speak your mind, got a New Story?, Opinion?, Need help?, Like a story?.
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Jan 8, 2012 at 1:08am
#2343896
Re: I would like to know what you think
Well it's hard to tell where the story will go just from the one paragraph, but you've got a good basis for a scene here. You've clearly put some thought into this character Karin and maybe some ideas about her personality. If you have a desire to write and you find you enjoy doing it, than of course you have potential. One rule of writing to remember is the idea of 'show don't tell.' Instead of telling us his ramblings are obtuse and eccentric, show us, with dialogue. Write out the scene and show us how he's being obtuse and eccentric. Since the scene is being written from Karen's perspective, show us her thoughts. You could set it up something like this:

"Did I ever tell you of the time I had an encounter with the Yeti and those space aliens Karen?" Richard asked. "I was on the road to Flagstaff out in the desert and three UFOs flew up right along side my car."

"Uh huh," Karen said with a nod. How did she end up here? Searching through her memories, through all the life altering decisions that could've led here, she couldn't put a thumb on what brought her to this. Sitting on this very sofa, listening to this.

"It was then that I lost time you see dear," Richard said. "Me and Amber, my date at the time later realized we'd both lost time, and it was only later in therapy that I was able to sift out the experiences with my therapist. I'd had an encounter of the 4th kind, and as it turned out with a Yeti as well."

Now that's just me being a bit off the wall, I have no idea how you want to set up that scene, and obviously how Richard is both obtuse and eccentric. But the point is to tell your story through action. Dialogue is action. You've got your scene set up here, you've got your characters descriptions and personalities figured out. Let them tell their story. Show us how they are this way and you'll end up having much more engaging writing.
MESSAGE THREAD
I would like to know what you think · 11-20-11 9:13pm
by Grace
Re: I would like to know what you think · 11-24-11 3:07pm
by margaret quedly
Re: Re: I would like to know what you think · 11-26-11 5:05pm
by Grace
Re: Re: I would like to know what you think · 01-11-12 9:30pm
by CAD
*Star* Re: I would like to know what you think · 01-08-12 1:08am
by jkincaid

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