Whine & Cheese Company, Inc. - 1

Thank you for your most interesting letter. By the way, do you know Susie Whiner? You two would be great together. You could be Howie and Susie Whiner...I'm sorry, Mr. Matchmaker forgot hisself for a minute.

So, you're the one whose always holding up the line at the grocery store. There's always sumbody up ther a yakking away with the cute little checker (does Susie know about these trysts?) and I can't git ma groceries home for supper. Gimme a break, Howie!

May I suggest that instead of your wasting time with Lola, the grocery cheker in her cute little tinsy outfit, that you spend that valuable time online ordering our very nice Christmas Gift Packs. They's good all year round. Buy a bunch of 'em and just keep 'em in your freezer.

Thank you, Howie, for your letter to our Customer Care Department. You are such a whiner...I mean winner. Bubba and his staff be working hard on solutions, however, for now, just order those Christmas Gift Pack. And if you don't use them up for Christmas, paste a valentine over Santa and give them to Susie for Valentine's day. She's too busy whining to notice the difference.

Thank you again for being such a valued and faithful customer. Do write again if we can help you.

Whinningly yours,
Bubba, Head Customer Care Whiner