Whine & Cheese Company, Inc. - 1

(Note to Bubba, I'll handle this bozo)

Dear Mr. Mook,

I think we know where the "red nose" comes from, don't we, huh? Been drinking right out of the still, huh? I bet you don't even catch it in a cup, but put yore lips right on the pipe and suck. By the way, do you see revoonuers when you stare into bright lights? Just as I thought, however, the letter written in crayons was a huge clue. By the way, how to you get crayons into the computer?

Let me take a guess here. This aledged attack did not occur in our fair city of Red House, did it? You see, the Bernard and 32 gave you away. Red House has only two streets, First St. and First Ave. It's a crossroads with Harley's Texaco on one corner and catty-cornered across the roads is A.B. Smith and Sons General Grocery and Haberdashery Emporium. Of course, The Whine and Cheese Company, Inc. is located in back of Harley's Texaco. That way, we git free air and water, plus he saves the boxes the oil comes in to ship our cheese.

Now, you are plucking chickens for the annual church picnic and midgets wearing blue polka-dotted dresses dance by, riding purple goats doing the dropsy snide. Well, that's all very clear, but I'm wondering what is your problem? I mean, other than a little too much hooch to drink, and I understand that runs in your family (or more correctly, through your family) I really don't see anything out of the ordinary.

So, pluck up and order some more of our Christmas Gift Packs. They's good all year round and the little picture of Santa can be torn off and a picture of the midgets doing the dropsy snide can be pasted on for any holiday occasion.

Thank you for your order and just as soon as we recieve your check, we'll cash it. It is so wonderful hearing from our valuable and repeat custormer and your words of encouragement and testimonial of our fine line of products.

Do let us hear from you again along with your order.

Whinningly yours,
Jim Whinery, Head Whiner