Whine & Cheese Company, Inc. - 1

Dear Mr. or Ms. Crazy,

I see we're not playing with a full deck. The aces have obviously been replaced with jokers. And what world is this you are planning to take over? Is it bigger than a peanut? I doubt it since it has to fit into that pea brain.

However, I am delighted you have contacted our Customer Care Department. You fit the profile of our customers perfectly. Instead of spending all that money taking over the world, why not just purchase a couple of cases of The Whine and Cheese Company, Inc. Christmas Gift Packs. YOu'll be needing some gifts for your generals and hey what better way to pay off all the mercenaries you'll be needing to defeat the Army, Airforce, Navy and the Marines? One bite of our cheese and they'll be completely under your control.

(Note to Bubba: Don't include this in the letter, but this Bozo will believe anything, so push our Memorial Gift Pack, too. It's the same as our Christams, but in his fog filled brain, he'll never know the difference.)

Now, don't play with any sharp insturments, but get all your money and send to us via email. Just put the money in the slot on the front of your computer and push send.

Whinningly yours,
Bubba Whinnery, Head Customer Care Whinner.