WdC 2023 Birthday Review Raffle - CLOSED

Hey, the last cicada! I was just reviewing your reviews and I think the complications is that AmyJo- only 2 steps behind - didn't notice your suggestions/corrections because you put them so kindly and subtly that they went unnoticed. Also, she has to review dozens of reviews every day and can't be expected to sit, focused on every word of each review. That's why we ask that reviewers make their suggestions and corrections more obvious so we can find them at a glance. If in {review:4711291 }, for example, you had done the following, you likely would have immediately been awarded tickets.

Suggestion: I'm not quite sure what types of questions or what kind of participation that the doctor is hoping for. The demonstration helped to shock the attendees to pay attention. However, the direction of the overall subject matter to be covered is still a mystery. Perhaps some clarification on this might be helpful. (I added the italicized part to make it more obvious that you're making a suggestion. )

Suggestion: I do not feel that the story prepared me to connect or relate to the audience's sudden spark of interest. Firstly, attendance is mandatory. Secondly, the doctor has presented this material for more than a decade. The ending seemed abrupt and out of place to me. Try to help the reader connect the dots so the ending flows more naturally, or consider changing the ending to a similar idea, but done differently.

Suggestion: Also, after the last paragraph, I found myself wondering, can all that material fit into a single lecture? Without a narrower context, the full spectrum of the topics feels extremely broad. I realize this is only a story, but this part doesn't seem realistic to me. While I love that you bring to light something that's too often not talked about, a different topic with more information and/or less emotion behind it might be a better fit for the daughter's death so the audience will stay on the topic of ghosts, which in itself, could be hard to contain, especially after such a display.

So, for me, this review qualifies for 2 tickets, the max. It's well done, but since the suggestions for changes are so subtle, they weren't easily detected. This might also be the case with some of your writers you are reviewing for. They may not notice that you're making suggestions. In any case, this is worth 2 tickets. Great work!

The second review you posted, the only thing I can see that's sort of like a suggestion is saying you'd like to see a pic of the bread tie. I read the piece and it's not like they actually would have that and the writer didn't mention taking a picture of it, so I wouldn't normally consider this really a legitimate suggestion, but I suppose you can say you want to see a pic of it and I can't say that's not legit. But unless you can point out other suggestions, I'd say this is worth 1 ticket.

Review of "Mr. President" In this review, you remark about things that are confusing to you. Officially, we're asking for suggestions and corrections. However, your statement that a section is confusing would qualify, if not vaguely. I mean, you are absolutely suggesting they make it less confusing. But you're, again, doing it so subtly that a person skimming for suggestions and corrections won't see them...as you noticed. If you're not comfortable labeling them as "suggestion" then you could label them as "confusion" as above, bold with the part in question following and your own discussion of the situation included. If you end it with either a suggestion as to how to clear it up or with something as straight forward as "I'm not sure what to suggest here, but I would definitely recommend a rework of this paragraph so that it's more clear."

Anyway, between the bit about the paragraph being confusing and not understanding who the emperor is, that's 2. But the part about it being too complex, to me, that's not a suggestion to simplify that paragraph...and maybe it wasn't meant to be. But it may be a missed opportunity for a 2nd ticket, if it was supposed to suggest he simplify that paragraph. As it reads, I think you're just saying that Ray Bradbury is too complicated for you, thus so is this paragraph. lol To me, I read 2 suggestions subtly placed, which equals 1 ticket.

For Review of "Anagrams - The Game" , you mentioned bit being hard to find, so if you'd simply pulled that out and labeled it, you could have gotten a ticket for that suggestion.

So, I think that I counted 5 tickets--2, 1, 1, 1. If you disagree with my counting, the last cicada, please let me know. But I do recommend, not just for this, but for your general reviewing style, make your suggestions a bit more obvious so that folks who aren't reading carefully or who have issues can easily identify the things you recommend. (I have a brain injury and know at least 1 other active person on here does as well, plus a couple are low IQ and several have had strokes and/or are in the beginning stages of dementia.) If people can't find your recommendations, what's the point of making them?

Anyway, AmyJo- only 2 steps behind -, if you already gave tickets for these reviews, great. If you gave more than my recommendation, just leave it as is. It's fine. I'm not going to take tickets away. But if you didn't give tickets, please give the last cicada 5 tickets for these 4 reviews. Thank you!

I do hope to see you in the forum more! Don't let this experience discourage you! We mostly just need you to make your suggestions more clear. You're reviews are very kind and have some great insights. Keep doing that part, for sure! We can't wait to see more reviews from you!