On a night like any other you are sitting at home alone just watching TV and drinking beer. It has been this way ever since you broke up with your girlfriend a few weeks ago. It’s always the same, you meet a girl, think she is the one, you’re on top of the world and then they go nuts and you end up alone.
Suddenly you hear your phone ringing; you casually answer it to hear your best friend Will.
“Well it’s over.” He says, “Wait what’s over?” I ask, “Me and Shawna.” He says, “Oh no man what happened.” I ask
Just then there is a knock on my front door, “Hang on one second man.” I say walking to the door, looking through the peep hole and seeing that it is Will. “Come on let me in and I’ll tell you.” He says
I laugh softly and open the door giving him a quick hug and inviting him in.
“Yeah we broke up a few days ago and this was the first time I’ve felt like doing anything.” He says, “Oh man, I was wondering why you’d been so quiet this week.” I say as I sit back in my chair and he sits on the couch. “Beer?” I say offering him one from the cooler I had beside the couch.
“That would be awesome,” he says, I then hand him one and we both lay back in our seats. “So I guess you’re not doing anything tonight either?” he asks, “Nope, you know after I break up with or get dumped by a girl I don’t have a social life for at least a month.” I say barely exaggerating
He then cracks a smile, “Yeah your luck is almost as bad as mine.” He says.
“Oh wow yeah if we’re going to talk about women I’m going to need a stronger drink.” I say finishing my beer and getting up to the kitchen, moments later returning with a bottle of tequila.
“Nice, you brought out the good stuff.” He says sitting up as I bring out two shot glasses.
The two of us then begin to drink, going through our entire relationship histories and wondering why each of them went wrong. And what was wrong with women in general. Before long half the bottle was already gone.
“You know man I don’t know why pretty much every woman you have ever talked to seemed to think that you’re a cocky idiot. You’re the most awesome guy I know.” I say laughing, “Yeah! I am awesome, you hear the Shawna!” he says standing up proudly, “And Becky… and Kate… and Tina…” he says falling back down on the couch laughing.
I then began laughing as well thinking about all the women that have told him pretty much the same thing, “Man I don’t know how you pick them but they all seem to go crazy eventually.” I say taking another shot, “Yeah I guess it’s just my luck,” he says taking two shots to catch up with me.
“Ah that’s good stuff.” He says, “But yea what I really need is a girl I can just chill with like this, that settles it, man you need to be a girl.” He says laughing
Due to the alcohol I then burst out laughing regardless of how odd the statement was. “Oh yeah that would solve everything, but remember Shawna looked a whole lot better in a bikini.” I say laughing
He then takes a moment to remember how hot she was but quickly snapping out of it because it reminded him that he just lost her, “Yeah but that’s why you would be way hotter.” He says
"
“Oh really?" i say laughing at the through, "Do tell, what do you have in mind for female me?” I ask
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