Look, I didn't believe this "magic ring" stuff, but if I did there was one little fantasy I'd always wanted to indulge.
Like I said, Mom was very attractive. It had weirded me out when I was younger but I'd since come to terms with it. She had a very pretty face and a nice curvy (maybe a little too slim) body. The problem was though that she was very uptight, an undiluted fun kill. My three favorite things in life were junk food, video games and internet, and it was as though her only purpose in life was to ruin those for me. Always trying to get me to diet and exercise like she does. It's probably what kept her so slim, but it was boring as hell.
So when I closed my eyes my wish was to go back to the mid-nineties, back when she was my age, so that I could find out what she was like before she'd become so lame. It was a silly thought, but you could imagine my shock when I opened my eyes to find that I was no longer in my attic, but in the middle of a suburban street. But not just any street... oh my god, is this Mom's old neighbourhood?
It... it worked???
I had little time to take in the fact that I was now in the middle of the nineties, before I was even born, when I heard a school bell go off somewhere behind me. I wasn't here as a decade-tourist, I had to stick to the plan. That would probably be Mom's school a couple of blocks behind me, and that bell meant that I had about 10 minutes to find Mom between classes. I sprinted in the general direction of the bell and with a bit of luck found the school. Sneaking in was shockingly easy, I managed to fit in with the crowd seeing as my cheap, dated Wallmart clothes happened to look trendy in this era.
After scouring the halls I finally spotted her. She was even more gorgeous than I imagined, a younger, slimmer and mote innocent version of my mother. With confidence that shocked even me, I strutted over to her with some bullshit line about being new. She blushed, she was insanely shy, but it was clear than she like the attention. With little effort we were flirting in no time, my "fashionable" style and my intimate knowledge of my mother's likes and dislikes giving me an upper hand. Eventually I asked if she wanted to skip class and get a burger and shake with me (my shout). She resisted out of fear of trouble, but eventually gave in. She was too excited by the prospect of someone as cool as me showing interest in a bookworm like her.
When I ordered her a double with bacon and a jumbo shake, she resisted again.
"Jack," my mother blushed, "I can't eat that! I'm on a diet!"
"Look Lisa, you're not one of those uptight girls who only eats lettuce are you?"
She looked at her toes. "No, it's just that I..."
"Hey, I have a motto. 'Live In the moment'. I eat junk food all day everyday. Why? Because I want to. Will I have to diet and excercise when I'm 30? Probably. But right now I want a double cheeseburger and a jumbo shake and I'm not letting anyone's opinions stop me!"
Needless to say she came round.
The next week went by in a similar way. I was using junk food, hooky and flirty to try and undo the fabric of Mom's upright nature. I used to ring to give myself s bottomless wallet and used that to take her to every fast food joint in town. I don't know how hungry she really was, but she was determined to impress me and stuffed her face with whatever I ordered. I upped the quantities everyday and she complied. Being noticed by a cute boy was a string narcotic for a nerdy girl and she was determined to be a cool girl for me. And after a while she was started to really enjoy the binge eating rather than just doing in for show. She never new bad food could taste this good.
After 6 days of this things were going well, right up until I walked her back from lunch. At the school gates I was about to say goodbye when my mother, impulsively, launched into me and kissed me on the mouth. I was shocked and didn't know how to react. She broke free, and with a big grin excitedly told me,
"I've never felt this way about anyone Jack! I love spending time with you, I love eating and you've shown me how amazing junk food is! I want to spend every day doing this with you, will you go steady with me??"
Oh god! This is too much! This was just meant to be a silly little fantasy, but all of a sudden it had become way way too real. I had no idea how to deal with this, and in a panic I wished that I could go back to my own time.
And suddenly I was back in the attic, like nothing had happened. I just stood there for about 5 minutes straight, wondering if it had all been a dream, scared that if I moved or even thought too hard that it would all fall to pieces. After a while the silence was shattered by an old familiar voice, one that made me jump but at the same time made me somewhat relieved.
"Jack!" my mother called from downstairs, "I've been looking all over for you! Can you come out here?"
She didn't sound angry, just exhausted. "I'm going through some stuff in the attic Mom!" I hollered back.
"You're gonna have to come to me Jack, you know I can't get myself up there!"
Can't get herself up here? Uh oh...
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