Hello Jakrebs ,

I am reviewing your work as a judge for "CLASH! "  [13+]. The following are all my opinions for you to heed or discard as you please.

Character:

What I like: Your character is altogether unique, beyond all the others I read for this tournament. He is captivating.

What I'd like to see improved upon: A little less enigmatic description. There is simply too little foundation for the reader to relate to.


Story:

What I like: I enjoy the way you set him up for the race without all his magic. This will leave him vulnerable and the reader will be guessing all along when and where the council will give some back for his use.

What I'd like to see improved upon: Present tense...it is not a good way to read a story.


Good luck in the tournament.

Best regards,

Gary


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .