Found your piece in the Noticing Newbies Newsletter 4-22-15
I often use the NLs to garner reviewing fodder.

This is a good start on something that can be grown into a good story.
Flow is good, enhanced by the absence of any visible grammatical snafu's other than one item.
The street name "Sea child lane", perhaps keeping the capital letter motif for child and lane would be better. Seeing it like it is made me pause to make sure it was a part of the street name.
Pace is slow and sensory filled, the overall impression this reader gets from this is the main character is about to reveal their true self to someone who means a lot to him/her.

Write on!
Copenator out! BA, M Div
founder of Copenator's Crew
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .