*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4494977
Review #4494977
Viewing a review of:
 Puppet  [13+]
True love won't let you leave.
by Xiea
Review of Puppet  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*

Hello again, Kiara.
Even though I’d like to say that this sounds like a real life experience of your own (a bad relationship, I would presume?), I won’t say that this sounds like a real life experience of your own because that would be wrong.
Right?
OK. Seriously, this is a pretty darn good analogy of somebody’s life being compared to that of a puppet, and you did great job of writing it. Using the first person POV makes it that much more personal, too.
It’s obvious that this puppet is letting somebody else control its strings (life), and yet the puppet can’t break free from its puppeteer. The Reader can feel the puppet’s pain, yet he can’t do anything except offer friendly advice, which the puppet probably already knows and will probably only take at face value.
Yet the Reader still feels obliged to offer it, so here it is: The Reader would say the puppet needs to take control of its own life, and the sooner, the better! Cut those threads and stop letting somebody else manipulate you, the Reader would advise the puppet.
Now the Reader knows this is probably easier said than done, but it needs to be done, lest the puppet never has a life of its own.
It’s here where the Reader says, “Nuff said.”
Some comments and suggestions (the spelling and grammar was flawless! Thank you!):
‘made them rough (and) coarse’
‘The darkness was blinding me, enveloping me, consuming me, comforting me, reminding me that I'm too broken to be fixed, convincing me to give up and stop trying already.’ (oddly enough, this is a very well written line, sad as it may be—especially that part about being too broken to be fixed)
‘The warm blood felt should have felt pleasant on my skin’
You’re a good person, Kiara. I can tell that, otherwise I wouldn’t be bloodying my fingertips writing this review to you!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend, and again, welcome to WdC!
PS-I offered you some gift points for a review of my short story, "The Bridge" . A lot of people on this site think I’m a little warped, but they know me too well. I’d like to hear a stranger’s opinion, so let know what you think if you get a chance!
PSS-And don’t forget about the Please Review Page or The Shameless Plug Page under Community on the left hand side!
PSSS-You now have a new fan!

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann

Angus Hand


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
   *CheckG* You last responded to this review 07/27/2019 @ 3:00am EDT
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4494977