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Rated: 18+ · Short Story · Teen · #1290076
Shory story jus need some critiquing
Ange starred at her algebra teacher, he was reviewing how to divide fractions, because her whole class had forgotten how to do so. Ange watched as the boy beside her wrote down almost everything the teacher was saying. ‘I should be taking notes’ Ange told herself. She looked at the teacher and down at her blank notebook. She was tired, it was only 8:15am, and it was too early to be doing math. She looked at the clock and watched the second hand spin around the clock. One minute down! “Yes” she thought to herself. She looked back at the teacher; he was giving problems, for the class to do. She looked at the boy beside her again. He had the answer to the first out of 3. Ange scribbled down the answer, which was on his page. She waited until he had finished the second and copied that one too. After he finished the third, she wrote that one also.
“Mr. Blanquette” Ange said raising her hand, “May I go to the bathroom?” he looked at her and nodded. She stood up and walked to the front of the class, he scribbled his name on a pass and she left. She closed the door behind her and looked both ways to see if anyone she knew was in the halls. No One. Ange walked down the long and narrow hallway, and headed towards the girls bathroom, which was at the end of the hallway. As she entered the bathroom, her friend, Shelly was fixing her long brown hair. “Hey Hun” Shelly said hugging Ange. “What's up?” Ange said giving her a halfhearted hug. “Nothing, just skipping gym” Ange smiled. “Ohh” she said looking at her reflection.
Ange had bright blue eyes, which brought out all the features in her face. She had curly blond hair, which matched her eyes well. She had dark eyeliner, and a little lip gloss on. She reached into her back pocket and pulled out her pink sparkly lip gloss, Shelly starred at her. “Yeah?” Ange said looking at her, trying not to be cocky. “I love your eyes”, Shelly said smiling. “…Thank you” Ange said looking back into the mirror. Ange coated her lips with the gloss and stood back to look at herself. Her hair was down and about as long as to her middle back. “Do you have an elastic?” Ange asked Shelly who was getting ready to leave. “Umm…yeah” she said pulling the elastic out of her hair and handing it to Ange. “Are you sure?” Shelly nodded. “Don’t worry! I got a whole package in my locker. Ange smiled. “Thanks” she said. And Shelly was gone. Ange put her curly hair into a messy bun and left the bathroom. She took the long way back to her class, when she got back the teacher didn’t even care that she was gone so long.
The rest of her math class flew by and when the bell rang a boy walked up to her. He was cute, but not her type. “Can I walk you to class?” he said looking nervous. Ange smiled revealing her bright white teeth. “If you don’t mind being late… my class is in B building, the boy smiled. “I don’t care I have gym anyway” Ange smiled. She grabbed her books and started to the door. “ill carry them” he said taking them for her. She smiled at him. “Your names Jimmy isn’t it?” he looked down. “No… its Jamey” She looked down. “Sorry” she mumbled feeling stupid. “Its okay” he said, they walked out of the building across the premises to B building. “Thanks for walking me” she said as they reached the door. “My pleasure” he said. He handed her the books and she thanked him again, as he turned and walked away she caught herself staring at him for a little bit.
She sat down in her assigned seat and looked up at her teacher, on the board was written. “Read pages 230-240 do questions 1-10, and 11-30 for home work”. Ange looked down and opened her Biology II book. After biology was lunch.
Lunch was the highlight of her day, she could talk and hangout with whoever she wanted. She sat at her usual table. As soon as she sat down her cousin Vicki approached her. “Angel” she said sitting beside her. “God… I hate when you call me that! My names Ange!” she yelled looking away. “Whatever. Look, I have a problem” Ange looked at her cousin. “What” she said cocky. “Whatever, your such a bitch!” she said standing and walking away, before she could exit the row of tables, Ange grabbed the back of her shirt. “What is it?” Ange asked. “No… screw you. You have a major attitude problem!” Ange rolled her eyes. “What the hell do you want!” Ange yelled, a few people looked at them. “fricken that Asian girl Lee wants to fight me after school!” Vicki whispered to her older cousin. “Screw her!’ Ange yelled. “Where is she?” Ange said looking around. “Over in the corner… don’t say anything”.
Ange looked at the girl; she had long straight black hair, she wore dark eyeliner and a bright pink eye shadow. She had on a tight shirt which showed the outline of her busting chest. She was leaning against a wall talking to a boy. Ange started toward her, as the cafeteria saw her storming in that direction, heads turned. As she entered the isle Lee saw her coming. She stood upright; two girls stood up behind her. As Ange reached her, she said in a low tone. “Can I talk to you?” Lee looked behind her. “Yeah… is everything cool”?” she said following Ange out of the row. Ange looked back and then when they reached the end of the row , she stopped. “What's the deal with you wanting to hit my cousin?” Lee scrunched her eyes. “Who’s your cousin?” she said cocky. “Vicki Alves” Lee grinned a little. “Well tell your cousin to stop sleeping over my boyfriends house!!!” her voice raised. “Don’t yell at me,” Ange said calmly. “I'm just saying… if my cousin gets touched by you… or anyone associated with you… were going to have a problem!” Lee thought of what Ange had just said. She pushed her black hair behind her ears, which revealed big diamonds and in another hole, large hoops. She didn’t say anything and tuned to walk away. “I wont touch her.” She said and in another breath “Just tell her to keep her hands, and eyes away from my boyfriend” Ange nodded and Lee returned to her seat. Ange turned and went back to hers, just as she sat down Vicki sat beside her.
“Well” she said after a long pause. Ange made eye contact. “Don’t sleep at her boyfriends… you little tramp!’ Ange said looking away. “I’m not a tramp! He wanted me… I didn’t even know he had a girl!” Ange rolled her eyes. “Vicki, I know how you role, you’re my cousin… we hang out almost everyday… I know you screwed him!” Vicki looked down, and then looked up with a grin. “He’s so good in bed” she said smiling. Ange nodded. “Can you go find Danny for me?” Vicki nodded and stood up. Danny was Ange’s new boyfriend. They had started going out the night before. “Where is he?” Vicki asked standing up looking around the cafeteria. “Probably sitting with his football friends” Ange mumbled starting a conversation with the girl across from her. “I see the little asshole” Vicki said walking away.
Ange was deep in conversation when she was grabbed from the shoulders and pulled back, before she could do anything, she was hit in the face. Her eye was watering now, and she couldn’t see out of it. With the other eye she could see Lee standing over her with a few more people. Ange jumped up and swung at Lee’s head, she got her! Lee flew onto the lunch table, before she could do anything else, Lee’s friends pinned Ange down on the ground between the tables. She was hit in the face again, and before she could do anything else the girl who as hitting her grabbed the bottom of Ange’s shirt and pulled it up… up over her head. Ange started flailing her arms, and kicked her feat, she kicked someone, and pulled her shirt down. She jumped up and before she could hit someone again a teacher grabbed her around the waist and pulled her back. Ange looked to see where Lee was. Lee was on the lunch table getting hit in the face by Ange’s friends. Vicki was running from the football table and Danny was behind her. The whole cafeteria was yelling and screaming.
“Lets go” the teacher said pulled Ange out of the cafeteria. The teacher was her English teacher. Vicki had caught up to Ange and was walking beside her. “I couldn’t get over there! There were too many people in my way” Vicki said as Ange was getting hauled down the corridor. “Stupid tramp… I’m gonna get so many people after her…WAIT” Ange threatened. “I got outnumbered” she screamed as she was hauled into the office, still being held tightly by her English teacher. “Wait…Wait” Ange kept yelling to Vicki. “Shut up or ill have both of you arrested!” Ange didn’t know what to say, she was too aggravated.

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