This story has taken on a rather significant change in style. Discriptions of explicit sex have been deleted. At this time I have almost completed the first cut of book one. The earlier chapters are more complete and edited. I write in spurts and during a recovery phase, go back and do the cleanup and editing.
As the story progresses there are alot of new ideas that have been infused throughout the manuscript. In the Prologue I have placed background mateial that is slowly being integrated into the narritive. The writing technique still depends on dialogue to develop the story line, give insight into the characters (ie you get to know them by hearing them talk to and about each other) and move the story along. I find that letting the characters talk and allowing them to push the story along works best for me. The POV skips around to show the reader what the events look like through different sets of eyes. The feedback is that some readers find this difficult and are more comfortable with fewer characters, more exposition and a line that is more confined in scope. Sorry if you are discomforted I do not wish to torture my readers, however perspective shift is a characteristic of this novel. I am resolved to try and perfect the technique. I do care what my reader's think, however, I'm resolved to give this approach a try. In my life experience I am constantly amazed by the manner in which witnesses see the same event and and take away broad differences in perspective. I find this interesting but realize that others will find the approach repetitive. If it doesn't work, what the heck, next time I'll try something different.
If readers/writers have comments as I go along they are welcome. Ideas on how to improve the content are also solicited.
This story involves the extensive use of telepathy and other devices such "Blood Scarabs". Where telepathy is used I am trying to find a good way to show this instead of having the mental dialogue confused with the verbal. When telepathy is used words such as "said," and "spoke" are replaced with similar sounding words that denote telepaty, such as "Vized" (visualized) and nelled (Channelled). I will consider using itallics instead of quotes but the edit program here does not easily support this. Maybe both together are the answer.
Further if my elfs look like dwarves and vice versa do not be dismayed. In this story men, elves ,dwarves, Witches and Simenelves have a common genetic heritage. They are all humanoid but come from different (altered) racial backgrounds. So if you see an elf carrying a crossbow do not be dismayed. Further my elfs do not have that etherial, sublime look. They have pointed ears but are stockier and more rugged than traditionally portrayed. At the same time my dwarves do not look like midgets. The difference is that dwarves are shorter and stocky and the elves are taller and lanky. The witches have the look of homosapien females but a psyche more analogous to the elves and dwarves. Their eyes take on a glow of color to compliment their emotions.
If you feel compelled to point out that this story will "Never Fly," you needent beat a dead horse. I have spent my life paddling up stream and while I welcome your critique and ideas and am always open good comments do not worry that your critique will be taken personally. I know well that my light often has a different hue and accept my own differences as I enjoy the diversity and perspectives of others. My characters tend to be sized to real life and what I enjoy most is showing ordinary people raise to the limits of their potential and beyond. These characters will not be super heros but rather normal creatures with all the good and bad of everday people. Some will tend to the dark side and others will reach out to the light. Thanks for walking into the "Cutting Room."