Thoughts of A Twenty Something Girl

It sucks to realize that you weren’t good enough to be the one. This thought ran across her mind while she listened to her friend’s band play at their CD release show. She immediately became scared and a frown was beginning to break through. She covered everything up with a smile and pretended to be okay. The reasoning for this thought was how she was affected when the guy she had been seeing suddenly decided to end things. In her dating life, she was starting to see a pattern. He fed her the usual lines and bashed himself to make him look like the bigger person but she knew better than to believe the words he spoke. In a crowded room but feeling alone, she went outside to grab a quick smoke, and there he was. Standing there, not a care in the world, feeling superior to her, he stood and chatted with their mutual friends. Like the kind gentle spirit she was, she happily walked over and asked for a light to a friend that was standing next to him. At once, their eyes met, both gave a crooked smile, and she quickly lighted up and left the circle. Her friends thought she was being ridiculous by being in the same place with him, but she didn’t know that she would be graced with his company. After the show she arrived at her place, a little intoxicated and feeling alone. She knew the real reason why he had left her. Things were moving too fast and he couldn’t keep up.

A peak into her journal...

"Every time I see you pop up somewhere I get this feeling of regret along with anger. I hate that I feel this way about you but you did this. You wanted this. I blame you. It’s only at night when the reality of this situation starts to haunt me and keeps me up at night. I could only tell you no so many times. I fell into your trap. You shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep. I’m hurting but I know I’ll be better soon.


I got your post card in the mail. Too bad when I got it you didn’t mean it. I wanted to tell you how sweet it was and the story you told was heartfelt. When I gave you a second chance you proved yourself to be a complete asshole. So now, I’ll watch your life go by in pictures and think of how I should have let you go the first time. All because of one night that changed everything."